Give Me A Freakin’ “Honey Boo Boo” Break!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok. I’ve just about had it with stupid no brainer reality shows. How many times do I have to go out in my backyard and bang my head against a tree just to make sure I can feel actual pain, and not the “reality” pain I feel when I hear about another inane reality show that’s on TV, and, of all places on, “The Learning Channel!” The freakin “Learning Channel” for cripes sake!

I’m referring to the TLC show, “Honey Boo Boo,” starring cute little as the dickens makes me wanna barf Alana Thompson.

This is either a photo of “Honey Boo Boo” and her mom, or an advertisement for a really bad dating service.

WTF am I gonna learn from “The Learning Channel” watching a 7-year-old kid’s antics with a damn pig for a pet? WHAT!

“Glitzy.” Honey Boo Boo’s pet pig. OR….a photo of Porky Pig in drag auditioning for his own reality show.

Maybe I’m supposed to learn from “The Learning Channel” that I either need to take a serious look around at who’s watching this show, and, avoid all those people before they do serious harm to themselves or to me. When ya don’t have a brain that functions properly enough to distinguish between some really good television shows and “Honey Boo Boo” you need to ask yourself, “Am I just taking up valuable space here on earth?”

Think I’m kidding folks. Howard Lee, (no relation to Spike, Bruce, Peggy, Pinky, or any Chinese guy with the last name Lee) said that it was a “no brainer” in deciding to put this show on TV.  HOWARD!  Get a freakin’ life for Gawd’s sake! A NO BRAINER?  I personally think YOU are the one with a “no brain….er.”

Now THIS is my idea of reality TV

Now get this. The demographic audience who watches this no brainer show are between the ages of 18 and 49. What the hell is our country coming to. In just a few years those 18 to 49 year olds will be running this country with their heads full of mush from watching “Honey Boo Boo”episodes. What the hell kind of important decisions are these people gonna make if any of them get into power. OMG!!!

“Soooooo. Do you think you’re qualified to be President of the United States Mr. Grosnick?”

“Oh yeah sure. I watched a lot of reality shows growing up like, “Ice Road Truckers,” “The Kardashians,” “Gene Simmons Family Jewels,” “Hoarders,” and “Honey Boo Boo.”

“GREAT!  Obviously you have a handle on what today’s no brainer society is all about and will be able to relate to the electorate. By the way, nice colorful makeup and outfit you’ve got on….are you supposed to be Gene Simmons?”

“Um no, this is always the way I always dress.”

Yep, we’re doomed.  On top of all that, more people watched the last episode of “Honey Boo Boo” than watched the GOP convention. ( 3 freakin’ million) Unless those watching the GOP convention thought the nominees were “Honey Boo Boo’s” pet pig “Glitzy” and her mother. Then when they found out neither Romney or Ryan resembled either, tuned out and went to TLC.

“Honey Boo Boo” is, (sigh) getting around $40,000 per episode. Which makes her the best paid 7-year-old on TV. Best paid for saying that cute line, “A dollar me wanna holler.” Hey Boo Boo, how about $40,000 dollars makes ya wanna holler!” Well, at least her parents wanna holler.

“Gimmie that money ya little brat! Now go play outside with your damn pig. And don’t eat any of Glitzy’s food in the sty…..suppers almost ready”

And no wonder the little twerp is so hyper. They let her drink a mixture of “Red Bull” and “Mountain Dew.”

Just a subtle reminder of what can happen to a cute little rich kid years down the road after od’ing on Red Bull and Mountain Dew.

I personally think I’d have to kill myself if I had a little kid like that with a pig running all around my house. Unless, I could get her on a reality show and make $40,000 too. BUT…..once the ratings drop and the show gets cancelled and I was left with a pain in the ass 7-year-old, I’d have to ship her butt off to some boarding school lest I go nuts. As for the pig………………….BACON!!!!!

Note to anyone out there who’s a producer. Wanna make a really good reality show about a blogger who lives with 5 cats and a woman who’s addicted to the smell of “Fancy Feast” cat food? Turkey and giblets is her favorite.

Promo: Coming soon on the “Food Channel,” “Misfit Boo Boo,” the “Cat Lady” and their five cats.” (I figure if “Honey Boo Boo” can be on “The Leaning Channel,” then I should shoot for “The Food Network,”) Ya see, learning has got nothing to do with watching “Honey Boo Boo,” because if you’re that stupid to watch it, you’re NOT gonna learn anything. BUT….watching my reality series on “The Food Network” you’ll learn how to concoct all kinds of delicious food recipes for cats, (because they hate cat food and love human food) and follow the trials and tribulations of “The Cat Lady” as she wrestles with the cat litter box, tracks down the location of secret hair balls barfed up during the night, jockeys for position in our queen sized bed with 5 cats, and follow the exciting tension filled moments when Rusty the squirrel torments the cats from the other side of the patio screen window. Simply thrilling and very entertaining.

Ya see. I could be making $40,000 an episode too. What the freak does a damn 7-year-old kid with a pig have that’s much more entertaining than a blogger with 5 stinkin’ terrorist cats?

If “Honey Boo Boo” can make it, so can I. And my other half and our 5 cats.

Um, did I mention that we’ll take any offers to appear on a reality show and that we’ll work cheap?

Producers, of “The Learning Channel” and “The Food Network,” contact MisfitWisdom before some other channel like “Animal Planet,” “The Weather Channel,” “Travel Channel,” or “CSPAN” makes us an offer first.

Especially “CSPAN.”

If only to livin’ up the “boredom” factor from watching CSPAN. Just sayin’

And finally……………the “reality” of it all.

(DONATE) The actual MisfitWisdom PayPal reality show entitled, “Grovelling For Donations” can be seen right here each and every day. Follow the daily episodes of Misfit as he attempts to squeeze a few donation bucks out of people who read this blog and, when they read the donation pleas, say, “screw you.” Verrrry entertaining and mind-boggling. Especially the link, posted below, which, if it is not highlighted, (blue) you can get real, as in “reality,” and copy and paste the link into your browser to get to the reality PayPal site. How much more reality do ya want than THAT! Hmmmmm…..maybe I need a pig.

Reality donations since January 2009 AD………( 1 )

Copyright 2012 MisfitWisdom RLV

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About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on and Kindle
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