Have you ever wondered how rich people think? That is if they actually do any thinking, because most of the time they hire people, like us, to do their thinking for them. AND….if we’re, (us low life peons) not around to do their thinking, that’s when they tend to make stupid decisions. Like strapping a dog to the roof of a car and doing 65 miles per hour on an Interstate. (sorry Mitt)
Anyhow, “Yahoo finance” had an interesting article written, and I guess researched by a poor person like the rest of us, Mandi Woodruff. I’m assuming she’s poor like the rest of us because she’s holding down a job at Yahoo writing this stuff. Otherwise, if she were rich, she wouldn’t be wasting her time writing this stuff and be out hobnobbing with the rest of the rich people.
So, her article was entitled: “21 Ways Rich People Think Differently.” My guess would have been that they think differently because they don’t have to think at all. But, that’s just my guess. And I can’t afford to pay anyone to confirm that.
As I said, she has 21 reasons why rich people think differently. Some were no brainers like, “Average people, (us) think money is the root of all evil. Rich people believe poverty is the root of all evil.” Personally, being poverty level, I’d sure as hell like a share of that evil stuff that comes along with having lots of money. It’s kinda hard being evil with any credibility when you’re poor. Can’t afford the luxuries like guns, masks and really fast get-a-way cars.
So I’m gonna nit pick, so to speak, by taking a few of those 21 reasons and nit-picking the heck outta a few of the ones that really stuck in my craw. Whatever a craw is. I think it’s the stomach of an animal or something. Whatever.
So here’s some of the ones my craw got stuck in:
“Average people have a lottery mentality. Rich people have an action mentality.” Which is why us poor slugs buy lottery tickets and rich people do not. Because if we actually hit the lottery, then we could spring into action like those rich folk. Whatever action it is we have to spring into. Maybe being able to buy some really good drugs so that we could get off our lazy butts and spring into some sort of action.
“Average people think the road to riches is paved with formal education. Rich people believe in acquiring specific knowledge.” Like, knowing who to pay off to fix a horse race so that their horse comes in. While the average person has to get a formal education to figure out who the guy is that they have to pay off to fix a race so that their horse comes in.
“Average people see money through the eyes of emotion. Rich people think about money logically.” Yes, this is true. I get very emotional when I see the dollar signs accumulate when I’m gassing up my truck. Rich people on the other hand do think logically. Like how much money their gasoline stock is worth as they watch me weep uncontrollably as I gas up my truck.
“Average people earn money doing things they don’t love. Rich people follow their passion.” True again. All of you poor peons are working day in and day out in jobs you hate just to make a buck and survive. Rich people follow their passion…….entering horses in “Dressages,” running for President, vacationing in the Bahamas, and some really expensive hookers.
“Average people believe you have to DO something to get rich. Rich people believe you have to BE something to get rich.” The “DO” as in pull a bank heist. The “BE” as in BEing born with a silver spoon in yer mouth. Any names come to mind?
“Average people believe you need money to make money. Rich people use other people’s money.” Which is why you should never give any of your money to any rich person who is standing outside of a Wal-Mart with a collection tin.
“Average people live beyond their means. Rich people live below theirs.” What does this mean? It means I should be living in an old Quonset hut and some rich person should be living here. Maybe writing this stupid blog instead of me. Or, at least paying someone like me to write it. (I’m open to any offers from rich people)
“Average people teach their children how to survive. Rich people teach their kids to get rich.” I know this to be a true fact from experience. Rich kids used to beat me up when I was in school, take my lunch money, and got rich. I, on the other hand, learned how to survive getting beat up by running like a SOB…..while they were busy counting the money they got from me.
“Average people would rather be entertained than educated. Rich people would rather be educated than entertained.” Which is why you should never go to a rich person’s house and think that you’re going to have a really great time.
“Average people like to be comfortable. Rich people find comfort in uncertainty.” Yes, which is why I personally like to drive my 1999 Dodge ram. It’s comfortable and very roomy. Rich people on the other hand, drive those totally uncomfortable Corvettes and Lamborghinis and are totally uncertain as to whether some huge semi is gonna come along and squish them like a bug.
And finally, “Average people believe they must choose between a great family and being rich. Rich people know you can have it all.” Hmmmmm……..I really can’t decide on this one because I was never given the option of choosing between having a great family or having it all. BUT…..considering my long line of useless and mooching relatives I think I’d go for the rich option.
Unless my relatives were all rich. Then I’d have to go with having a great family.
Did I mention that one of the finer qualities of being rich is being very shallow?
SEE…..money IS the root of all evil. So, help me out here and donate to MisfitWisdom so I can really start enjoying the good rich evil life……….like that other rich guy who went from being poor to rich by being evil…………
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