I know what you’re all thinking. Either the Mars Rover has found life on Mars and they’re naked aliens, or, some idiot hacked into NASA’s web site and posted x-rated photos of the dark side of the moon. Well, you’re all wrong. The photo below, obviously taken from space or by a very tall person, explains it all. It’s “Northumberlandia.” Yes, take a look. None other than “Northumberlandia.”
Again. I know what you’re all thinking. You’re thinking, WTF is “Northumberlandia” and couldn’t they think of a shorter name for whatever it is. My thoughts exactly. By the time anyone gets that word out of their mouth, people are saying to you, “Gesundheit!”
But, that’s what the name of this public park with a giant sculpture of a naked woman, which you can only tell is a giant sculpture of a naked woman from the air, actually is. Personally, if I want to see a sculpture of a naked woman, I’d rather go to a museum that’s on the ground rather than have to fly in an airplane at 3o,000 feet. Actually, I’d rather go to a strip club to see a real life honest to goodness naked woman only two feet away doing a pole dance.
It’s a lot cheaper than paying for airfare and much more of a turn on than observing a bunch of trees and bushes shaped like a naked woman.
But, who am I to criticize the British when it comes to erotic stuff. Besides, this entire 46-acre park called, (here we go again) “Northumberlandia,” and is also known by the much shorter name of, “The Lady of the North,” was unveiled yesterday by Princess Anne.
Hmmmm. Princess Anne. Can ya still be a Princess when you’re Anne’s age? Which is 62. I mean, geez, like shouldn’t there be a statute of limitations on just how long you can be a Princess? Say like between 20 and 25 or something. I just can’t imagine a Prince riding up on a horse to find a sleeping Princess who’s 62 years old and be willing to kiss her. Unless, of course, the Prince himself is also 62 years old. Which, may very well be the “AARP” verson of “Sleeping Beauty.” Just sayin.’
Anyhow, this park is made up of 1.5 million tons of rock, clay and soil, is 100 feet high and a quarter of a mile long. It’s creator is American-born architect Charles Jenks who calls it a masterpiece. He’s obviously been hanging out in the ol forest waaaay too long. or, smoking some strange stuff in the forest.
Work on, (no I refuse to attempt to spell the name of that park again)…..work on this park began two years ago when soil and clay from the surrounding areas were formed into the shape of a reclining lady. Then grass seed, (Scotts Turf Builder perhaps) was strategically placed to create the outlines of the woman. (strategically means that they took pains to carefully sculpt the woman’s boobs and other body parts using grass and stuff) Or, while smoking grass and stuff.
The park’s website says,”What you see when you visit is only the start of something that will evolve through generations.” Most likely meaning that, like Princess Anne, the naked sculpture will also age with time. But look much better. Bushier body parts I guess. For those of you who like the natural look.
MisfitWisdom thanks to “Yahoo” news and this article by Amanda Ludka which was titled, “England’s Largest Nude Land Sculpture Unveiled.”
Next week Amanda and Yahoo will explore nude stick figure drawings of naked cave women dating back to the times of the Mayans. Possibly titled, “Mayannudenstickens.”
My guess anyhow.
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