Yesterday I Broke A Cardinal Rule. Today, A Cardinal Broke One, After He Died.

I guess that makes the score even. One for one. Hey! If a Cardinal can break a cardinal rule, then they should cut me a little slack here. Whoever it is that cuts you slack when you break a cardinal rule that is. God I guess.

Now yesterday I wrote that I broke one of my own cardinal rules. Which was never get into discussing politics on social media with another person of the opposite frame of mind as you, while attempting to present facts, which, as we all know, always clouds up the issues. Ya can’t have a decent argument about politics if you have facts.

Anyhow, getting back to cardinals, and rules. In Rome, where the Pope guy lives, one of his cardinals might have broken one of his own rules. And he wasn’t even on Facebook or Twitter commenting on politics. Go figure.

The former archbishop of Milan, (in charge of all arches in the Vatican) and a papal candidate, (not another candidate running for the presidency) Cardinal Carlo Maria Martini, said that, (gasp) the Catholic church was, “200 years out of date” in his final interview before his death at the age of 85 on Friday. The interview, according to Reuters, was published on Saturday.

Like I always say. If you’re gonna come out and criticize the Catholic church or the Pope, wait till you’re dead to do it. That way they can’t get even. Smart guy, this Cardinal.

Smart move. Wait till you’re dead to say the church is 200 years out of date. Not only would his comments made his chances to succeed the Pope nil, but even worse, now that he’s dead, the odds are he’ll never make it to the top spot.

On top of that, Reuters, the news service, said that Cardinal Martini, (not to be confused with the drink) gave a, “scathing portrayal of a pompous and bureaucrat church failing to move with the times.” Most likely because the Pope does not use Facebook and Twitter. My guess anyhow.

His criticism of the Catholic church touched on a few explosive issues such as the recent scandals which cost the church millions in compensation settlements, the use of condoms, (by us regular people and not them) and the way the church looks at divorce.

Martini’s quote on divorce: “A woman is abandoned by her husband and finds a new companion to look after her and her children. A second love succeeds. If this family is discriminated against, not just the mother will be cut off but also her children.” He went on to say, “the Church loses the future generation.”

AND….more alms in the alms basket. Like my alms which I haven’t almed in years because the Church doesn’t approve of divorce or Tammy Wynette even singing about “D-I-V-O-R-C-E.”

Martini’s final message to the Pope guy was that he should consider shaking up the Catholic church without delay. Meaning, ASAP!  He put it this way: “The Church is 200 years out of date. Why don’t we rouse ourselves? Are we afraid.”

First of all, he’s absolutely correct. They need new datebooks….like a few from the Hallmark store in order to keep up to date with what the heck is going on. Secondly, they DO need to arouse themselves. Um, oops, sorry, that was “rouse” themselves, not “arouse” themselves, which was one of the problems the Church had with a few errant Priests. Just sayin.’

And thirdly, yes, the Church may be indeed afraid to make changes. And I can see why. It’s because the Church is based in Rome. ROME!  All that old stuff is in Rome. You know, old coliseums where the Christians fought the lions. (not football) A tower that’s leaning and eventually is gonna fall over and kill a few sinners. And waaaaay to many Bunga Bunga parties. Ya see, they’re still living in the past. In ancient times. They need to get with it. Streamline things.

First, relocate. You know the old saying. Location, location, location.

Give another city a chance at hosting the Vatican. Works for political conventions. Say like a Vatican sub station in Washington or New York. Maybe even Hollywood. Get the Pope some decent clothes for cripes sake. Who can relate to the head guy walking around in a robe and carrying a stick tryin’ to get his message across from a high balcony way up above the crowd where no one can hear him.

This is the 21st century. Get the Pope on Facebook, Twitter, Leno, Letterman, Conan, Jon Stewart, Steven Colbert and perhaps some game shows like “Wheel of Fortune” and “Jeopardy.”

“Alex, I tinka I wanna giva it a shot .”

“Go ahead Mr. Pope. What is the question to,  “We can’t afford 100 watt light bulbs.”

“Da answer isa, Why isa da Vatican lika da dark ages.”

It’s refreshing to know that Cardinal Martini, had he actually succeeded the Pope, might have instituted some new polices at the Vatican to bring it into the 21st century. Unfortunately, with his passing, it may still be some time before the Catholic church realizes it desperately needs a complete makeover.

One can only compare this to the fledgling Boston Dead Sox. Until they realize that it takes money and brains to secure decent pitchers, (not has been octogenarians) and start to see their attendance figures drop to give them a wake up call, they’re going nowhere.

And the Catholic church is right on the Sox’s heels. Puny alms in the alms baskets. And less alms in Alm-mond Joys. Alms are taking a hit because the Church is still clinging to its old ways.

And we’ll most likely never see a drastic change until a Pope gets in that can speak English with a really super sound system when he’s on that balcony. Has a Twitter and Facebook account. Gets out there and goes on tour to connect with the people. And really gets a new set of clothes from “Mens Warehouse” to improve his image.

Pope…….your gonna like the way you look.

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Copyright 2012 MisfitWisdom RLV

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About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on and Kindle
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