Mystery Surrounds “The Farmers Almanac.” NOT….”The OLD Farmers Almanac.”

This is the “OLD Farmers Almanac.” Not to be confused with the “Farmers Almanac.”

This is the “Farmers Almanac.” Not to be confused with the “Old Farmers Almanac.”

Now you would think that being the sweet old people farmers are, just toiling away in the fields and not getting into any controversial stuff, that we’d all have nothing to concern ourselves with….when it comes to farmers.

I mean, when is the last time you saw a farmer get all bent outta shape over something? See. Ya can’t think of any. Which is exactly my point. Which is why a story by AP reporter David Sharp, who was very sharp to pick up on this story, is beginning to worry me.

It seems that the one most important guy in the world, the one guy who predicts what our weather is going to be like, is anonymous. Yep, nobody knows his real name or where the hell it is that he predicts the weather from. It’s kinda like a CIA operation or something. Makes ya wonder doesn’t it.

This is an OLD farmer.

This is a much younger farmer with his attractive wife, so I’m assuming they are the ones publishing the “Farmers Almanac” rather than that other old guy who publishes the “OLD Farmers Almanac.”

Now the “Farmers Almanac,” in Lewiston, Maine, not to be confused with the “Old Farmers Almanac,” which I assume is published by old farmers, and is based in New Hampshire, are two different publications. The one we’re concerned about is the “Farmers Almanac.” So, if you’re a farmer, you might be a bit confused as to which farmer from both these almanacs you should believe when it comes to predicting the weather.

However, the farmer I’m writng about is from the”Farmers Almanac,” if he is indeed a farmer, which no one knows for sure, because his identity is secret and he’s only known by a fictitious name, which is Caleb Weatherebee, which is obviously to avoid getting tar and feathered if he makes a wrong prediction about the weather. My guess anyhow.

For instance. Caleb, or whatever this guys name is, predicts that people from the Great Lakes to northern New England should “dust off their snow shovels, and get out their long johns because it’s going to be a cold and snowy winter.” Seeing that I personally do not own a legitimate pair of “long johns,” I think I’m basically screwed if this guy is right.

On the other hand, because this guy Caleb is anonymous, who’s to know if he’s not on the payroll of some long john company to make people go into a panic and cause a run on long johns. Just sayin.’

Scientists however, do not think much of the almanac’s formula.  You know what a bunch of distrusting souls scientists are. Most of whom are from Missouri, the “show me state.”  Unless you show them something, they ain’t gonna believe it. Which is why most scientists from Missouri still do not believe in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy like the rest of us normal people do.

Ed O’Lenic, operations chief, in charge of operations, I guess, for the “National Oceanic and Atmosphere Administration’s Climate Prediction Center” (whew) says that he won’t knock the almanac’s methodology, but said the sun spots, (kinda like age spots) and the moon phases aren’t used by modern-day meteorologists.

His quote: “I’m sure these people, (the almanac people) have good intentions, but I would say that the current state of the science is light years beyond what it was two hundred years ago.”

Which means that instead of those almanac people predicting the weather by observing cows either standing or laying down in a field, (rain prediction) or if farmers knees ache, they should use today’s technology to come up with their forecasts.

I myself am still going with the cow and achy knees theory.

Considering the “Old Farmers Almanac” and the “Farmers Almanac” along with my local weatherman, never completely bat 100% when it comes to predicting the weather, how far off can a bunch of cows or my achy knees be.

Besides, unlike Caleb, who may or may not be connected to some company that makes long johns, cows have udderly no allegiance to anyone, other than the farmers who feed them. And THOSE  “farmers” don’t print and sell almanacs. So, who ya gonna trust when it comes to predicting the weather?

A bunch of trustworthy cows or that anonymous guy Caleb hawking an almanac and long johns.

For all we know, he might be getting his information from cows too.

Just sayin!

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About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
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