Shocked I tell ya. Shocked. That was my reaction to discovering that instead of those original nine states I reported in my 8/8/12 blog that would decide the presidential election, two do not count anymore. Actually I said WTF!
It seems that Pennsylvania and Wisconsin are a toss-up. So they’ve been scratched as being of any importance. Which means that you people in those two states can just relax. The pressure is off. Go on vacation. Rent some Netflix movies. Go visit each others states. You people in Wisconsin, bring some cheese for the fine residents of Pennsylvania while you’re visiting. Pennsylvanians, when you visit Wisconsin, because you come from the “Keystone State,” bring along some keys to your cities to give to Wisconsinites.
Ya don’t have to worry. Those other seven states will take care of the voting for you. In fact, you’re welcome to join the rest of us useless states, all 43 of us who also don’t matter, in a huge cookout at the Grand Canyon. (it’s the only place we could fit everyone in)
Sooooooooo. How many electoral votes from the other 7 states are there that will ultimately decide the election. A whopping 85! YES! These seven states have a total combined 85 electoral votes. Eighty freakin’ five!
So, I’m assuming that equates to eighty freakin’ five people who get to decide who the next president is. Which means that if candidates want to spend political campaign advertising money they should simply gather up these 85 people, lock them in a room and brainwash them with political ads until they’re at the point where they’ll vote for a duck if it had a good campaign ad, and then they’ve got the election all sewed up.
How simple is that!
Here’s the latest Associated Press story that lists the states that will decide the election and the possibility of an actual duck winning.
(actually, they didn’t mention a duck, but, considering only seven states and 85 people with electoral votes matter, how hard could it be to convince those people to vote for a really good duck.)
The AP news release:
TAMPA, Fla. (AP) — “On the eve of their national party conventions, Barack Obama and Mitt Romney are locked in a close race to amass the requisite 270 Electoral College votes for victory. And the contest is exactly where it was at the start of the long, volatile summer: focused on seven states that are up for grabs.”
“Neither candidate has a significant advantage in Colorado, Florida, Iowa, Ohio, Nevada, New Hampshire and Virginia, which offer a combined 85 electoral votes, according to an Associated Press analysis of public and private polls, spending on television advertising and numerous interviews with Republican and Democratic strategists in battleground states.”
See. You thought I was pulling your leg about those 85 electoral votes didn’t you. HAH!
Oh ye of little faith in MisfitWisdom.
Now I myself, along with my other half, will do our patriotic duty and cast our useless ballots on election day in November. Unless they changed the date. (checking)
Nope, so far it’s scheduled for November. But, ya never know. It’s required in many states now that you produce a valid photo ID when you vote. So who knows what changes can take place between now and November. Gotta watch those suckers that make the laws. The next thing you know dead people won’t be able to vote.
Hmmmmm……that might eliminate Florida as one of the important states.
Anyhow, as I said, we will be voting in November. Not because I really have faith in the system, or that my vote counts, or that I think whichever candidate I choose to vote for will win. Nope. I go to the polling place for the free coffee and donuts. HEY! A penny saved is a penny earned.
And, because I don’t have to actually write my name on any of those paper ballots, I usually scribble some sort of sarcastic note at the bottom of the ballot.
Something like, “Ha, Ha, Ha……none of these votes for president count you stupid a**wipes because seven other states decide who wins, so don’t waste your time counting these ballots. By the way, you’re invited to a really great cookout at the Grand Canyon.”
You seven states that decide, Colorado, Florida, (maybe) Iowa, Ohio, Nevada, New Hampshire and Virginia, go have your own damn cookout. Who needs ya.
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