FOOD!!! FOOD!!! REALLY WordPress…..FOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What Makes a Post Freshly Press-able? A Recipe For Attention

by Kevin Ohannessian on August 15, 2012

Every day, 19 WordPressers are featured on the Freshly Pressed section of WordPress.com. And every day, many more wonder, “What do I have to do to get Freshly Pressed?”

Well, it’s time to reveal what the folks who push the launch button are thinking. Each week, a member of our editorial team will do a close-up on one post and why we thought it was Press-worthy. We hope we can provide insight into the process and give you tips and tools to make your blog the best it can be.
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Yesterday on Freshly Pressed we ran this recipe for Brussels Sprouts with Pistachios and Lemon, from Jen and her blog Lattes and Leggings. We love to read food blogs and we browse dozens each week. Here is why this one made the cut:

(The “cut” blog they are referring to was about brussels sprouts. Because I personally do not like brussels sprouts, broccoli, spinach etc, I could not print that recipe without gagging….sorry)

But the point of all this my fellow WordPressers is that today’s key life-sustaining word for attaining fame and fortune, on WordPress is, “FOOD.” Which is their “recipe” for attention when you write a “WordPress” blog. Who woulda guessed?

Yep, there it is, in their own words at the start of this blog directly from the “WordPress” site for all to see in delicious tantalizing type. A recipe for getting “Freshly Pressed” and obtaining all of the attention your little WordPress heart ever desired. FOOD!!!  FOOD!!!  Write about food and those people at WordPress go bonkers.

“Harry, quick. Look at this blog this here guy wrote on the color of avocados. Holy crap, it’s mind-boggling. Quick, let’s highlight this blog on “Freshly Pressed.”

“Geez, you’re right Harvey. I’ve never seen avocados displayed so brilliantly in a blog before. Look at the exquisite green in the photos. Not only that, but he’s listed his favorite avocado recipes. Just look! Avocado chili, Italian avocado spaghetti, avocado burgers, and avocado avocados………amazing!”

Folks, just as another guy commented on the WordPress site when he said, “Hey, I’ve written over 1,000 blogs in 3 years and never got “Freshly Pressed,” I too say the same thing. Only I said it much simpler…..WTF! I actually said it more than once.

Had I known that all I had to do was write a blog about food, or perhaps just tie in all of my daily blogs to food, I would have been not only “Freshly Pressed” many times but might even had been pressed a few days later, which might have made me three or four days pressed rather than freshly. HEY….it works for those discount bakery stores. I buy my damn Hostess Devil Dogs AFTER they’ve been on the store shelves a few days and wind up discounted in those “unfreshly baked” stores. A buck saved is a buck earned ya know.

Now the thing here folks is that I’m not big on writing about food like a lot of food junkies are. I, for one, do NOT wanna end up weighing 300 or more pounds, like all those fat food people at WordPress because I tried every single tasty recipe that was posted on their site.

Have you ever seen a person who is 5 feet 4 inches tall weighing 300 pounds?  Not a pretty sight. Resembles a penguin.  So I’m not going to take on that responsibility of writing about food and having everyone get fat just for the sake of getting “Freshly Pressed.”

Not only that, but I have more important things to write about than food. Unless it’s a piece of prime steak that Lady Ga Ga is wearing.  Then I can get into that. Even post some pictures of Ga wearing that food. Which I think I did at one time. BUT….even though I posted THAT food, do ya think I got “Freshly Pressed?”  NO!

This particular cut of steak, when seasoned with just a pinch of “Vidal Sassoon” body conditioner and a sprig of “Old Spice” body wash, (for the man appeal) is a tasty meal for anyone with a taste for fine cuisine.

Most likely because the prime steak was not cooked when Ga was wearing it. Had I included a “recipe” for preparing “Lady Ga Ga Wearing Prime Steak ala Vidal Sassoon” I might have squeaked in a “Freshly Pressed” mention.

I’d be willing to bet you that if a raid were conducted by all of the WordPress bloggers on WordPress headquarters, located in the basement of a Chinese restaurant somewhere in lower Manhattan, we’d all discover, as I mentioned earlier, a bunch of fat people gorging themselves on all kinds of exotic food. All of them card-carrying members of “Weight Watchers Anonymous.”

So, in conclusion, I for one, as a blogger on WordPress, am not going to change any of my writing content to include photos, articles, recipes, or anything else related to food simply to get, “Freshly Pressed.”

I have my standards ya know.  I’m not gonna lower myself and be enticed into the tasty world of food for the sake of being honored.  I do have some self-respect. There’s nothing that’s going to make me succumb to the temptation of actually writing a blog about food in the hope that I can find this blog highlighted on “Freshly Pressed”  in WordPress.

UNLESS……um…..unless there’s the slim possibility I can stand a chance by writing about this really neat game that involves chocolate. After all, it IS a food of sorts.

MisfitWisdom’s suggestion for the perfect after dinner accompaniment to any fine meal. Weight Watchers and Jenny Craig seal of approval.

HEY WORDPRESS!!!!    Does THIS qualify as writing about food?

(DONATE) The ever tasty MisfitWisdom PayPal donate blog is posted, (uncooked) below. If it is not sautéed in a fine blue color, then simply copy and paste the link, with a pinch of salt and pepper, into your browser to get to the PayPal site. All donations are greatly appreciated and are used for maintaining this old computer along with a constant supply of Devil Dogs, Oreos and Fig Newtons, which is the food lifeline of any blog writer. It’s either that or some really good drugs.

Donations since January……….( 1 )

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Copyright 2012 MisfitWisdom RLV

Header: chickart@cox.net

About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
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2 Responses to FOOD!!! FOOD!!! REALLY WordPress…..FOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  1. J Roycroft says:

    The real secret to getting Freshly Pressed is having a photo of Nutella on your post.

  2. misfit120 says:

    Or a photo of a banana stripping to exotic music..Thanks. J.

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