Romney Picks Ryan As VP. Damn! I Got All Excited. I Thought It Was Meg Ryan.

Wisconsin Congressman Paul Ryan, Romney’s VP choice holding up directions on how to follow the path to  Prosperity, (secret name for the White House)  effectively without dropping bread crumbs and then having the birds eat them thereby making it impossible to follow the same path back to Wisconsin if Romney and him lose the election.

Just like everyone else, I was anticipating with bated breath, whatever bated breath means, most likely holding a worm in one’s mouth while attempting to put such worm on a hook, when I learned that Mitt Romney was going to announce his pick for his Vice Presidential running mate. (second under the President in charge of vice)

When all was said and done he chose U. S Representative from Wisconsin Paul Ryan. (R) When I first heard that it was “Ryan” that he chose, I thought it was Meg Ryan and got all excited. I said to myself, “YES! Meg Ryan……how can I resist not voting for this ticket when Meg Ryan will be the VP.”

Personally I think Meg Ryan would have been a better choice. Just sayin’

Then I got the wind taken out of my sails. Which means that if I actually had any sails for wind to be taken out of, they would be deflated. Damn!

Oh Meg….Meg…..why couldn’t it have been you? Why! Why! (sniff) You surely would have erased all the stupid press Sarah Palin got when she was picked as McCain’s running mate. I assume Sarah got stupid press coverage because she was stupid. My guess anyhow.

HEY! If former VP Dick Cheney says that Palin was the wrong choice and cost McCain the election who the hell am I to disagree with him. The “stupid” classification was my own choice of words, although Palin isn’t really stupid considering that she’s making gazillions of dollars, along with the rest of her family every time she opens her mouth. Which may or may not blurt out stupid things on occasion, but who cares as long as those big bucks come rolling in.

Why is it a song comes to mind here? Hmmmmm? OH Yeah! “Mutual Admiration Society.

Their slogan for the campaign will be, “America’s Comeback Team.” Hmmm……too bad Paul Ryans’ first name wasn’t “Sheba.”  Then they could tie in the slogan, “Come Back Little Sheba.” (from a previous campaign, or movie…I think)

For the record, I have no idea if Sheba ever came back.

So, why did Romney choose Ryan.  Maybe because both their names begin with “R’s.” Yep, vote for Romney and Ryan. Kinda catchy don’t ya think? Can also be tied into “Rest and Relaxation” too.

“Vote Romney and Ryan and get some rest and relaxation while you’re at it because Ryan’s proposed budget plan will allow you all to get nothing but “rest and relaxation” when your government checks and Medicare and Medicaid are slashed and you can’t do anything else but rest and relax…..while ya wait to die.”

You all remember Ryan’s plan don’t ya?

1. Cut spending by $5 trillion dollars. I’m not sure if this means cutting government spending or Ryan’s spending.  HEY!  It’s possible it could be Ryan’s spending habits. Remember John Edwards’ $500 haircut.

2. Giving seniors, (old geezers) the option of taking a government payment to purchase health insurance, privatizing health plans or opting for traditional Medicare. Or dying because basically that’s what the government wishes all of you old farts would do instead of having the government dish out ANY money to you.

One more dead senior = another SS or Medicare/Medicaid check not having to be wasted on some old senior who’s gonna die eventually anyway. What a waste. Besides, be a bit patriotic here. That extra money you won’t get will help the government send more aid money to Pakistan.

3.  Overhaul Medicaid by turning it into a grant system, (named after General Ulysses S.Grant) I think their motto would be, “We grant you this you grant us that.”

4. Cut corporate taxes from 35% to 25% because, as we all know, corporations are, (I’m tearing up here) corporations are people. People needing people….areeeee the luckiest people in the world.  (stole that line from Barbra Streisand)

5. Head off scheduled automatic defense cuts by diverting $55 million dollars in cuts in 2013 by implementing cuts somewhere else where the money is not needed. Again, like on those free loading seniors, food stamp programs, Medicare, Medicaid, band aids and lemonade and Kool Aid.  Drink water and, use super glue on your cuts instead of band aids and if you’re sick and Medicare and Medicaid are no longer available…..just shoot yourself.

6. Cut the size of government to 20% GDP by the year 2015. “GDP” stands for “Gross Domestic Product” which means how you feel when you go to the store, see the price of corn has gone up a dollar, and think to yourself, “Damn, that’s gross for a domestic product.”

Basically what Ryan’s plan entails, if you didn’t understand all of the above, is, “STSMLCP.” Which is short for, “Screw Them Stinkin’ Middle and Lower Class People.”

One last thing Ryan points out in his great plan. To have a debate on the size of the Federal Governments role in people’s lives. I think that plan is entitled, “Let Them Eat Cake.” Which is fine with me because I love cake, especially devils food cake, and if the government cust all of those entitlement programs, and I still have my cake, or a voucher to get one, I’d be in pig heaven.

Course I’d be dead in less than a month from not getting my health care paid for by the government and fat as hell after living off of cake, but, I’d die happy.

So, in conclusion. Good luck to Mitt and Paul. Obama and Joe as well. May the best team win.

If only there were a better team to choose from.

Can I just hibernate until 2016 and see if the pickings are better to choose from?

MEG!!! MEG!!! Where are ya when we need ya? I want what she’s having too……(below)

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About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
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1 Response to Romney Picks Ryan As VP. Damn! I Got All Excited. I Thought It Was Meg Ryan.

  1. mjdar says:

    Cute 😀

    So, why did Romney choose Ryan. Maybe because both their names begin with “R’s.

    EXACTLY! hahah

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