The correct answer is, I don’t care what the correct answer is, I’m staying behind the bike. Congratulations if you got it right. Now you can continue reading today’s blog.
I’ve never been a huge fan of country and western music, with the exception of the “Dixie Chicks,” and only because they’re really hot looking and I love Martie Maguire’s mandolin playing. Just not enough mandolin playing going on these days. Like the great mandolin playing in Rod Stewart’s, “Maggie May.”
Oops….I’m digressing aren’t I. Sorry.
Anyhow, you may have all heard the unfortunate incident that took place this past week involving country singer Randy Travis, (53) who was arrested in Texas by police after they found him outside of his vehicle, which he had crashed into some construction barricades.
Usually crashing your vehicle into some defenseless construction barricades is no big deal. The big deal is when you crash your car into some construction barricades, get out of the car, lie in the road, are completely naked, and then threaten a police officer when he attempts to arrest you for intoxication.
Don’t drive your car into some construction barricades, lie in the road and be naked, and threaten some officer when he tries to arrest you for being intoxicated. Get Direct TV. Sorry….couldn’t help myself on that one.
According to police, Travis was found around midnight lying in the road naked just a short distance from his hometown of Tioga. The officer determined that Travis was indeed naked…..which was very easy to figure out considering he had no clothes on and his ding-dong was fully exposed. The officer also determined that Travis was intoxicated and immediately attempted to arrest him.
At this point Travis threatened to shoot and kill the officer. Which, in my own opinion, is not a very smart thing to do when you’re naked and the officer is carrying a bigggg gun. You tend to lose all of your credibility when you’re naked. Kinda like if Dirty Harry was naked and pointing his big gun at a criminal.
“OK, punk, you either drop your gun or I’m gonna let you have it.”
“Ha, ha ha ha ha. You’re gonna let me have it? Ha ha ha ha ha. Whaddaya have in mind big boy…heh heh heh.”
So the police hauled in Travis and charged him with a felony of, “retaliation” for alleged aggression toward the officer. Alleged means that the cops assert the events to be true but not proven. In other words, they go into court, show photos of Travis naked, and apparently yelling or something, at which point the judge says, “OK, enough of seeing a 53-year-old man naked, he’s guilty.” And then it’s not alleged anymore, but proven.
There was no explanation as to why Travis was intoxicated, naked, crashed his car, assaulted those construction barriers, and threatened the police officer.
Damn, I can’t wait to hear his side of the story. Especially the part of how he got naked.
My theory is that, besides his breakup with his wife, which will lead any man to drink and get naked, is that he’s just been a victim of “overcountrymusicitis.” This occurs when you’ve been singing country and western music for a number of years. The late Johnny Cash and Hank Williams Jr. also had this problem.
You can only sing so many songs about booze, women, low down honky-tonk dives, broken marriages, tear jerking sob stories and take this job and shove it ballads before it gets to you. Bound to make any country and western singer crash their car and run around naked and threaten police officers. One of the hazards of the business.
The only reason I haven’t done it myself is that, as I said, I’m not a big fan of country music. Otherwise I too could succumb to, “overcountrymusicitis.” Damn near came close to it once while listening to a Dixie Chicks song, “Wide Open Spaces.” Yep, about a girl who follows her dreams and leaves her parents and her home behind. Heart wrenching I tell ya…..heart wrenching. Enough to make anybody get out in their car naked with a bottle of Jack Daniels and take their frustrations out on construction barriers.
Which is the main reason I don’t listen to ANY music anymore. Just programs on public radio and occasionally a talk show or two. BUT, after a brief episode of running naked in my backyard and banging my head against a tree after listening briefly to Rush Limbaugh, I’ve sworn off talk radio as well.
So, Randy will be, “Singing The Blues,” (one of his songs) until his court date.
I’m going to end today’s blog by doing some research as to why there’s a lot of discrimination against mandolins. Just not enough mandolin playing going on these days. Um….I think I may have mentioned that earlier. Sorry.
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