FLASH!!! As in “flash flood.” The great ark is finished. YES! We no longer have to worry about where the hell we’re all gonna seek refuge when the big flood happens once again. Might wanna book some tickets to Holland just to be on the safe side. Can’t be too prepared ya know.
52-year-old Johan Huibers has finally completed a replica of Noah’s Ark and is ready to set sail if so much as one drop of rain begins to fall and those drops multiply into a massive flood thereby causing the entire world to be underwater. Johan is totally prepared with an array of plastic life-size animals on board the ark.
Um, someone should tell Johan that real animals are required to repopulate the earth in the event a flood does happen and those animals need to do whatever it is animals do to repopulate themselves. Mate I would assume. Seems logical to me.
This all began back in 1952 when Johan had a dream that his hometown in Holland would be destroyed by a massive flood. So he immediately checked to make sure that his toilet wasn’t overflowing, just to validate that his dream had nothing to do with bad plumbing, and set out to build his ark on the Merwede River in Dordrecht. Which I’m sure you’re all familiar with.
But, to bide his time while waiting for the rains to fall for forty days and forty nights, he’s decided to let the public tour his ark, henceforth, the stocking of plastic life-size animals.
The article did not say what Johan would do if an actual flood of massive proportions happened and he was stuck with all kinds of plastic animals and not the real ones. My guess is that he figures that if such a flood takes place, and he survives the flood, he can, once on dry land, place those plastic animals outside of the ark which will then, providing other animals have survived without building an ark of their own, see those fake animals and figure out how to mate. Mating instructions for animals might be in order. Or, at least a video.
OR…..because, as we all know, rabbits already know how to mate quite efficiently, simply let them do the explaining on how to mate to all the other animals. It’s either that, or invite Hugh Hefner aboard as a passenger. He has vast experiences with rabbits and could prove to be very useful.
A word of advice to Johan. Seeing that Noah made a few mistakes when stocking the original ark with animals, ya might wanna be kind of selective. Personally I’d pass on the snakes, sharks, tarantulas, gnats, ticks and mosquitos. Maybe even donkeys and elephants, considering they’re political symbols and we don’t wanna get off on the wrong foot while repopulating. You know how sex and all that stuff gets pretty tricky when a politician gets involved.
So, if you tend to be a bit on the doom and gloom side of things and a big fan of Harold Camping, that Reverend guy who every now and then predicts the world will end and the sky will fall, ya might wanna look into booking passage on this ark as soon as possible. Let’s not forget those Mayan predictions for this coming December either.
I’m not saying that some of you should panic. BUT….perhaps some of you should panic.
I myself am not at all concerned about a massive flood. I’m located pretty much on high ground. And, considering that cockroaches have been around since the beginning of time, I’ve been conducting my own study on them to determine how they’ve been able to survive through feast, famine, floods and political advertising.
The answer is that they have these really great outer shells that protect them from everything, and on top of that, they’ll eat almost anything as well. So I’m thinking that if I gather up enough of then, collect their outer shells and construct a giant ark of my own, which would be very inexpensive, I too could be totally prepared, jussssst in case Johan is right.
The only problem I foresee is surviving on a cockroach diet. Those suckers eat just about anything. Honest!
The only solution is to stock up on cans of “SPAM.” That stuff has been around about as long as those cockroaches have and will last 15 years in a can or longer.
Just ask any G.I from World War II.
(DONATE) The MisfitWisdom PayPal donate link is posted below. If it is not highlighted, (blue) copy and paste the link into your browser. This link is made possible due to Noah stocking the original ark with SPAM thereby guaranteeing survival for all on board the ark. Which is why we are all here on Earth today.
Donations since January….( 1 )
Copyright 2012 MisfitWisdom RLV