There’s just something about cow stories that I can’t resist. Maybe it’s my addiction to chocolate milk. Or passing by a farm out in the country and seeing all those cow faces looking back at me with those big cow eyes. Ya just can’t dislike a cow. So when I came across yet another news item about cows, I immediately jumped at the chance to write another cow blog. Which also allows me to gather up all of my inventory of udderly funny cow cartoons and use the word “udder” a number of times.
So here we go with another cow story folks. Udderly fascinating story too, I might add.
It seems that farmers in Oregon have come up with a novel way of making cows more contented while they’re sleeping, or just lying around doing whatever it is cows do when they’re just sleeping and lying around doing nothing. Give them water beds.
Yep, water beds. Sooooo what’s the logic behind this you ask? According to Ben Van Loon, (not to be confused with the bird) “As the cow gets ready to lie down, water, (in the water bed) moves to the front where her knees, (the cows) will come first, therefore cushion it more.”
We all know how hard it is for cows, especially those with arthritic knees, find it difficult to kneel down out there in the North forty when attempting to assume the snooze position.
Loon went on to say that the reasoning behind providing cows with water-beds is, “Less sores, less cows being stuck, (in the kneeling position I guess) which means, happier cows which equals happier milk.” And of course he’s right. No one wants to see an unhappy cow which would result in all of us getting unhappy milk at the grocery store. Otherwise we’d be buying “Sad Cow” cheese instead of “Laughing Cow” cheese.
This water bed moooovement started in Minnesota and worked its way to Oregon where over 300 cow farmers have now ordered water beds at a cost of $100,000 dollars. And me not able to come up with a few hundred bucks for a Sealey Posturepedic mattress of my own. Damn!
The manufacturer of these cow water beds is “DCC Waterbeds,” just in case you happen to own a cow or two and want to improve their lifestyle. Business is so good they have begun to make these water beds specifically for cows, and, have even got Mexican farmers interested. Presently Mexican farmers just give cows sombreros to wear for comfort during those hot Mexican afternoons when the cows take their siestas.
Providing cows with water beds also cuts down on farmers having to purchase expensive grass seed which is normally used for cow bedding. Cows, as we all know, are very fussy when it comes to lying on just any type of grass. Which is why when you pass a field full of cows, some are standing while others are lying down.
Contrary to popular opinion, if a cow is lying down it does not mean it’s going to rain. It simply means that those particular cows have no taste when it comes to determining what is good grass for sleeping on and what isn’t. Which, again, is why you see some cows standing and others lying down.
All in all this is really good for the water bed business. Sales in recent years of water beds haven’t been that great since sales figures took a hit when they attempted to market water beds to porcupines. After a number of failed attempts, cows seemed like the perfect client for water beds. And it’s finally proved to be a goldmine for manufacturers.
As this trend catches on expect to see more and more advertisements directed towards cows for various products. “Bob’s Discount Furniture” offering complete bedroom sets for cows. “Bed, Bath and Beyond” with linens in a cow motif pattern. “Victoria’s Secret” jumping in with the “four cup” under wire bra for the more discreet female cow. The comfort is udderly fantastic.
And of course the ultimate cow accessory, the “cow sippy cup” for the discreet cow wishing to feed her child while out in the pasture while lying in a water bed.
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Copyright 2012 MisfitWisdom RLV