Geez….I don’t even have a 3-D television and now they’re coming out with 4-D. Not quite for your television sets, but in movie theaters. Yes folks….the new innovation to get you out of your sofa and into a movie theater.. So, today, as a public service, MisfitWisdom takes a look at just what exactly a 4-D movie is. (this has nothing to do with bra sizes)
According to Stacy Curtin, who writes for “The Daily Ticker,” which has nothing to do with your heart either, movie theaters will be introducing 4-D movies in the near future.
So, what exactly is 4-D? It’s technology that’s designed to put you literally in the driver’s seat while you’re watching a movie. Or, in other words, physical effects that are coordinated with images on the screen that involve your other senses.
For those of you that don’t have any sense at all……forget it!
To technical for ya. Ok, um…let’s see if I can put this in perspective for all of you. You go to a movie, say for instance a movie that’s quite sensual, like, um, “The English Patient.” AND….during the bathtub scene the guy sitting next to you with the heavy overcoat seems to be gyrating uncontrollably in his seat. YES! That’s a 4-D experience….feeling the physical effects coordinated with the movie.
Hope that explained it for ya.
Stacy also explains it this way….jussssst in case you didn’t quite understand my explanation. “It is things like moving seats during a chase scene, the smell of gunpowder where there is an explosion on the screen, and in a spooky foggy scene you are surrounded by real fog.”
NOTE: This might not be a great idea if you wear a pacemaker or have a tendency to panic very easily. On the other hand, if you’ve been waiting for granny or grandpa to kick the old bucket to inherit their mass fortune, you might wanna treat them to one of these movies.
“Oooooh Granny and Grandpa. How about I treat you to a really nice movie tonight rather than have both of you just sitting around the house counting all of that money you have stuffed in your mattress.”
“Why honey, that’s soooo nice of you. What movie are we gonna watch?”
“Friday the 13th in 4-D.”
“Don’t think I’ve heard of that one honey. Is it a musical?”
“No Granny, it’s just a cute little story about some people who have bad luck stories on Friday the 13th. You’ll love it!”
In the 1960’s there was a movie, “The Scent of a Mystery” that employed the use of “smell-o-vision” during the movie by spraying a variety of flower scents to enhance the movie patrons experience. This didn’t go very far because some guy who attended the move theater a lot who often ate beans for supper really let some smelly “smell-o-vision” smells out himself. It wasn’t that bad, but no one watching those movies could ever tie in the smell to what was going on in the movie they were watching.
The way that this new 4-D technology works is that computer software coordinates events on the screen by using customized seats that are equipped with back, neck and leg ticklers.
Why does x-rated adult shops come to mind?
Which of course will make it very difficult for anyone watching a movie whose sitting next to or in front of a damn pervert to tell the difference between the special effects or the pervert copping a feel. Price ya have to pay for all this new technology I guess.
Along with that back, neck and whatever tickling stuff, there will be air blasts and water sprayers. Kinda like if you’re watching “Jaws” and want to feel that you’re part of the action. Might wanna sit by yourself with all of this water and spray stuff…..again….jussssst in case some strange-looking guy with a heavy overcoat sits next to you or behind you.
I think that I personally would wear a raincoat, a turtleneck, and carry a stun gun with me…..just to be on the safe side. Ya never know.
“Soooooo. How’d you like the movie Mr. and Mrs. Grossfern?”
“Wow! It was great. I’ve never experienced anything like that before. Holy cow! Especially during that once romantic scene where Brad Pitt was caressing Angelina Jolie’s boobs. Gawd, it was as if I felt my own boobs were being caressed. Boy, you sure have some great special 4-D effects in this theater.”
“UM…..thanks Mrs. Grossfern, but um, we don’t have any special effects that resemble boobs being caressed.”
So, as I said. 4-D movies do have some advantages…….and some possible disadvantages. But, what the hell. If those slight disadvantages don’t bother you, enjoy the movie and those little extras too.
Or….as I said….carry a stun gun and some pepper spray.
(DONATE) The MisfitWisdom PayPal donate link is posted below. As usual, I know, you’re going to ignore it. BUT….if you suddenly have a pang of guilt for never donating you can simply paste the link into your browser if it is not highlighted in blue. Eventually, with this 4-D concept catching on, your computer, and MisfitWisdom, will simply make a deal with these technology people who will allow me to lift a few bucks out of your wallet as your reading this blog. The “ultimate” special effect.
Copyright 2012 MisfitWisdom RLV