“My D-I-V-O-R-C-E becomes final today…Meeeee and little J-O-E-….
Um….you get the point here. Tammy Wynette singing her hit song “DIVORCE.” (I’ll stick in the video at the bottom of today’s lowdown rotten no good slime ball cheatin’ men blog)
No…”I’M” not getting a DIVORCE. But those cheatin’ lowdown no good rotten slime ball married men who have a tendency to want to nail anything that moves might be. BUT…..
Now there’s an anti-cheating device that woman can buy that’s supposed to stop their spouse from cheating. It’s called the “Lorena Bobbitt Cleaver.”
Um…sorry….that’s not what it’s called, but not a bad idea if ya ask most women who’ve been cheated on.
In an article by “The Stir,” which likes to “stir” things up, and reporter Keri Blakeley this is how the device works.
The inside of the wedding ring has the words, “I’m Married” stamped on the inside. If, and when, the guy slips the ring off of his finger, the words, “I’m Married” remain stamped on his finger. Obviously this would negate his chances of scoring once any woman he’s hitting on sees those words. Unless it’s a hooker. My guess anyhow.
So, what does the “The Stir” have to say about this new anti marriage ring?
1. That the stamp might not be clear enough to see. My thoughts exactly. Not only that, but there are ways to thwart (love that word) the anti-marriage stamp on your finger. First and most importantly, NEVER, if you’re left-handed and some guy attempts to cut in on your territory, (hot babe) flip him the finger. (BUSTED!)
Second, if your date is into finger sucking, NEVER give her your ring finger. (BUSTED!)
Keri also says that a deterrent to having your guy wear one of those rings is that you might be sending him a message that you don’t trust him. This of course is a moot point if you don’t give a rat’s ass what he thinks and you just wanna nail the SOB.
She goes on to say that where there’s a will there’s a way. Meaning that if there’s a way to circumvent the “I’m Married” imprint, he’ll find a way. Like wearing a band-aid. I’m thinking perhaps a Michael Jackson glove stating that he’s really into Jackson’s music and is still in mourning. Doing a few of Michael’s dance moves just to be convincing, like the “Moonwalk” might be in order.
Then there’s the old wives tale, (although I did not consult with any old wives, nor did “The Stir”) that married men get more action. So, if this is true, then giving your spouse the device wouldn’t really matter if he knows he can score anyhow wearing his wedding ring. In this case, murder is an option. (my suggestion, not the “Stirs.”
Finally, according to Keri, if he’s just a lowdown rotten no good slime ball cheatin’ slug,(my choice of words) let him go and get your own ring that says, “I’m Free.”
However, if you’re dead set against D-I-V-O-R-C-E (or listening to Tammy Wynette’s song) there are some other options.
A hand crafted specially made chastity belt for men. The same guys who do the welding for roll bars in “NASCAR” race cars would be happy to make one for you as long as you let them put a “STP” logo on it.
If you’re not into chastity belts, “STP” or “NASCAR,” perhaps a different version of the anti cheating wedding ring. Say…um….like a anti cheating penis ring. If he takes it off there’s a message that’s imprinted on his do dad that says, “Guess where this was last ya damn bimbo.”
OR…….With a penis tattoo that says: “If you can read this you’re not only too damn close but verrrrry desperate.”
OR……”This penis is attached to a penis “On Star”tracking system. You have 30 seconds to beat feet before authorities notify his wife.”
OR…..”This penis is the property of (insert wife’s name) If found in a compromising situation please call (insert telephone number) before using. Use at your own risk. Wife has a Magnum and knows how to use it ya slut.
Otherwise, if you choose not to use any of these options, then it’s D-I-V-O-R-C-E……or
…………………….murder the philandering SOB.
D-I-V-O-R-C-E seems to be the better of the two options considering the attractiveness of my final word………..
For which Tammy Wynette does not have a song for.
(DONATE) The pearly white squeaky clean almost virgin like MisfitWisdom PayPal donate link is posted below. If it is not highlighted, (blue, or chastity white) simply copy and paste the link into your browser. (check with your spouse first before you do ANY pasting….jusssst to be on the safe side) If she gives you the “ok” then go to PayPal, make a donation and MisfitWisdom will burn all of the negatives we have of you messing around you damn slug.
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