Your Video Will Begin After These *!!#^%$#!! Messages. WTF!

OK….I get it already. In fact, I’ve gotten to the point I just wanna yell out, “I’m Mad As Hell And I Ain’t Gonna Take It Anymore!”  BUT.. it seems like I have no choice considering everywhere I go some damn advertiser is sticking their ads wherever they can stick it. I’m almost afraid to bend over.

What I get already is that advertisers have figured out that ads can be placed EVERYWHERE!  Rent a DVD, whaddya get….fifteen minutes of commercials for previews of movies before the actual movie starts. AND….if you’ve rented that DVD months after the original movie came out, you’re getting ads for movies already outdated.  I think this ad thing also applies to going to an actual movie theater too.

Bastards!

Click on a video story on the Internet and, “Shazam!” (old Captain Marvel phrase) another message that says, “Your video, after this video, will appear in 60 seconds. WTF!

Damn….um….was it, “Shotzam?” No, that’s not it. Um…..”Shitzam?”…..Rats…that’s not it either.

It’s getting waaaay outta hand here folks. Not to mention, but I will, that most hour-long TV shows run 40 minutes with the other 20 going to commercials.  With the exception being TCM which runs no actual commercials because they show old movies which old people, who are broke, wouldn’t pay any attention to because they couldn’t afford to buy anything if they actually did show any commercials on TCM. Simple logic.

I see what’s coming down the ol pike. With regard to placing commercials EVERYWHERE!

You go to a funeral parlor to pay your last respects to the deceased and as you kneel down to pray, contemplate about death, and thank your lucky stars it’s not you lying there looking sooooo natural, when all of a sudden a tiny screen pops up with the message,”Your mourning will resume in 60 seconds, but first a word from our sponsor, “Hot To Trot Crematorium,” where our motto is, “If you’re gonna go out, go out in a ball of flames.”

I’m pretty sure that some restrooms already have figured out that if you’re gonna be trapped on a toilet for minutes at a time, it’s the perfect opportunity to slip an ad in.

“Say, you there just sitting on that cold toilet seat pondering life.  Have you ever thought about just how much time you waste just waiting for nature to call?  Now there’s a faster way to get in and out. “Super Lax.”  Why wait for old Mother Nature to come calling at the least opportune time.  Pop one “Super Lax” and you’ll tell nature when it’s time to come calling.  (Warning: Do NOT take “Super Lax” if you are not within seconds of a restroom)

Did you ever eat a chocolate bar on a hot summer day?  Rip open the wrapper and inside is a message telling you that if you call the number listed, (Butterfinger) you could win prizes.  Problem is that the chocolate has melted, so you either lick the remaining chocolate off of the wrapper or wash it, then call the toll-free number, which, rattles off a bunch of instructions you have to be a rocket scientist to follow, so you say, *F**K it and hang up.  Hey Butterfinger!  Just tell me if I’m a freakin’ winner will ya! Damn it….I ate your candy bar, what more do ya want!

(anybody got a wipie?)

The folks at Kellogg’s are pretty sneaky when it comes to slipping an ad in. It’s for a contest and I believe it’s in boxes of “Special K.”  Whatever makes “K” so special. BUT….you have to buy the cereal, open the box, then rip open the ENTIRE box to find out if you’ve won.  99% of the time I lose. The least they could do is give you a damn free box of “Special K” instead of the message, “Sorry loser, you got screwed again.”  Or something similar to that.

Then….then…..damn it……there’s those no good rotten pain in the butt phone advertisements when you call a business.  Drives me absolutely nutso.  Ya see, they’ve figured out a way to slip ads into your phone calls. Brilliant!

(Dialing 911)

“Hello, this is 911, what is your emergency?”

“WELL…UM…I JUST CUT…….”

“Before we take your emergency, did you know that most emergencies can be dealt with a little common sense instead of bothering us here at 911?”

“Operator….I’m in severe pain, I just cut myself with a……………………”

“Yes, cutting yourself can be very harmful, which is why we here at 911 have this really great pamphlet on how to prevent cuts….if interested, press 1.  If you prefer we mail this out to you press 2. If you’d like more information press 3. If you’ve already bled to death, this call will terminate after 3 seconds.” (click)

Besides all of the ones I’ve mentioned, by far the worst is those #&*%$#$#!@! ads that pop up on your TV screen during programs and especially during sports games. Don’t they just piss you the freak off!

(Don Orsillo Red Sox Announcer)

“Big Papi just hit the grand slam of all grand slams, I can’t believe it, that ball went entirely outta the park and onto the Massachusetts Pike and into the driver’s side of a “Good Humor” truck tooling down the highway….unbelieveable….did ya see that Jerry, Holy Cow…….and we’ve got it on instant replay!”

(watching at home on TV)

“Honey, did you see that?

“Um no, they were flashing a pop up commercial for “Desperate Housewives” and as they showed the ball leaving the park the pop up blocked the view so all I saw was what appeared to be Big Papi’s ball hitting Eva Longoria’s boob.”

Just to reassure everyone…..neither of Eva Longoria’s boobs were injured in that grand slam by Big Papi.

I might add that I’ve conducted my own scientific survey on “pop up” ads and they also always seem to pop up when any woman with cleavage is being shown on my TV thereby blocking such cleavage.

Which may be a new source of “pop up” ad revenue for sponsors. Ads on cleavage.

Then…….

At least every red-blooded American male would certainly pay attention to THOSE ads.

Works for me.

(DONATE) The MisfitWisdom “pop up” PayPal donate link is posted below. If it is not highlighted, (blue)  simply copy and paste it into your browser should you care to donate.Why should you donate?  So that I can buy a damn Tvo system and hopefully eliminate all commercials. Also helps with computer expenses, like virus elimination, upkeep, fine tuning, printer ink, paper, and boxes of “Splenda” for my coffee when I’m writing. Oops, almost forgot, “Pop Tarts” to go with “pop ups” and my coffee. A natural fit don’t ya think.

https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=SGVK2WFEDGSQ2

Copyright 2012 MisfitWisdom RLV

Header: chickart@cox.net

About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
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