Geez….really got get me a new pair of bifocals.
Actually, you can’t say the dreaded word, “vagina” if you are a Michigan State Representative and your name is Lisa Brown (D) and you said it on the House Floor. I would assume that if Representative Brown had been standing on a chair or perhaps up in the visitors gallery, which technically is not on the House “floor,” she might have been able to say the word “vagina.” Unless……she were wearing a mini skirt and you could actually see her…..um…..neverrrr mind.
But, she did use that despicable word on the House floor and was immediately prohibited from speaking on the House floor regardless if she opted to stand on a chair, say that word from the balcony or left the room entirely and yelled it from out in the hallway.
Why you ask? I’ll tell you after this brief commercial announcement from MisfitWisdom:
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Now back to our regularly scheduled story:
The reason Rep. Brown, (no relation to Les Brown, Bobby Brown, John Brown (or his body) or Buster Brown was that she was speaking about one of the most anti-restrictive abortion bills proposed in Michigan. (this has nothing to do with cars as we all know Detroit is the car manufacturing capital) The bill seeks to ban all abortions after 20 weeks with no exceptions for rape or incest.
In her speech on the house floor she said: “And finally, Mr. Speaker, (a live person and not the stereo kind) I’m flattered that you’re all so interested in my vagina, but by no means no.”
The remark led to an uproar, such as heard at Niagara Falls, and brown was gaveled out-of-order for, “comparing the abortion legislation to rape,” according to rapeologist and incestologist House GOP spokesman Ari Adler.
Other Republicans were more candid about their issue with Brown’s use of certain language. Like Rep. Mike Callton (R. Tenn) “What she said was offensive. It was sooooooooooo offensive, I don’t even want to say it in front of women. I would not say that in mixed company.”
Again, I would assume if Callton were not in mixed company he might be open to using that word. Or….if telling one of those risqué jokes while out with the boys, might be so inclined to use the “C” word. As mentioned in George Carlin’s “The Seven Words You Can’t Say On TV.” Unless you use the “vagina” word in place of the “C” word and are not on the floor of any house. Unless it’s your own. Kinda shaky ground there folks.
Rep. Brown shot back telling reporters: “It was an anatomically medically correct term.” And added further, “If they are going to legislate my anatomy, I see no reason why I cannot mention it.”
My theory is that perhaps she should have substituted another word in place of “vagina” that might not have freaked out all of those guys on the House floor. You know how squeamish us guys get when someone, mainly women, use the word vagina, vasectomy or the “C” word.
Something less offensive, yet acceptable and perhaps warm and comfortable could be used.
Like “foo foo,” “kitty,” (we’re not talkin’ about cats here) or my, “quit it now,” or the “George Bush” area. Republicans might have let her slide on that last one.
Another state legislator, Rep. Barb Byrum was accused of causing a disturbance and also barred from the House floor after commenting on a proposal by Republicans that would ban vasectomies, (not on the house floor but elsewhere) unless a life were at risk.
Note: This may have something to do with that 4 hour or more erection problem men sometimes get when the word “vagina” or vasectomy is mentioned in a House session. After hearing those words, they run home all horny and stuff, which means their spouses could become pregnant, which would ultimately mean more Republican children would be born, thereby increasing the odds for them in future elections, henceforth which is why Republicans want to ban vasectomies. Sounds logical to me.
This stuff isn’t only happening Michigan either. This past March in Florida a lawmaker, (some person who makes up laws like banning the use of the word “vagina”) was warned, “not to discuss body parts” after he used another despicable word, “uterus” during a debate on the House floor.
So, it’s obvious to me that House floors, and maybe even patios, balconies, verandas, and all other places maybe subject to legislation which would ban anyone from saying “vagina,” “vasectomy,” or “uterus.” Kind of a conversation starter killer if ya ask me.
Damn……back to that old line again, “What’s your sign baby?”
“Soooooo, Harry, thanks for inviting the wife and I to your cookout. Hows the woman of the house doing, and you too?”
“Um, thanks for asking Barney. Gladys is having uterus problems because I haven’t had a vasectomy which irritated her vagina.”
“Whoa Harry…….waaaaaay to much information there considering we’re standing on your back deck, and, considering this IS somewhat of a floor, we really can’t be discussing this stuff here.”
“Geez Barney….I’m terribly sorry, I forgot about that speaking about body parts law.”
“Ah, no problem Harry. Let’s just go sit in my truck and you can tell me all about it. And don’t worry about me getting aroused, I’ve had a vasectomy and Harriet is spayed.”
The moral to this story: He who speakith about vaginas, vasectomies and or any other body part should do so where it is completely appropriate to speakith about them.
Namely at your local body parts store or junkyard where those guys know everything about “body” parts and could care less if you’ve had a vasectomy, or you have a problem with your uterus or say the word “vagina.” Most of those junkyard guys use the “C” word anyhow.
Copyright 2012 MisfitWisdom RLV
(“Cox” by the way is ok to use on the House floor if you spell it “Cox” as long as you let those legislators know in advance that you’re talking about “Cox,” Cox and not “c**ks” which has to do with yet another body part and vasectomies)