This weekend is the 40th anniversary of Watergate. And me, who never even thought of sending a card to any of the Watergate burglars who are still alive. Damn….
Hey! If I had to send cards to everyone involved in the Watergate burglary I’d be freakin’ broke. Do ya think THEY thought of sending ME cards on my birthday or anniversary? NO!
Briefly, in case you have a short-term memory, 40 years ago some guys who worked for President Richard Nixon broke into a hotel called the “Watergate,” henceforth and forsooth why it’s called the “Watergate” burglary and not the “Holiday Inn,” “Best Western,” or “Motel Six” burglary.
The burglars, who were not very good at burglarizing, because, obviously they got caught, broke into the offices of the “Democratic National Committee” to see if they could find stuff damaging to the Democratic party.
In a new book entitled, “”Watergate: The Hidden History,” by Lamar Waldron, which claims that anyone reading the book will know who killed JFK, except the CIA and FBI. My guess anyhow. At this point, after reading everything about the assassination “I” already know who killed JFK……………..for you CIA and FBI guys who are still in the dark.
It was EVERYBODY!!!! Case closed.
That kinda narrows it down for ya a bit. Saves you a lot of unnecessary reading as well.
Anyhow, back to Watergate….which has nothing to do with “waterboarding,” “water slides” or any kind of surfing or water related activities. I think.
Because this is the 40th anniversary there will be a lot in the media about Watergate. So pay attention. Only because most people tend to be mushrooms and do not recall history and how it affects us to this day. Like why any self-respecting burglar will never book a room at the Watergate Hotel. Or, perhaps, why there are no framed photographs of Nixon hanging in the Watergate Hotel lobby.
In an article by reporter Liz Smith, (no relation to Kate Smith, or the Smith Brothers of cough drop fame, or Whistling Jack Smith) she details some of the more juiciest aspects of Waldron’s book. Like the fact that mobster Johnny Rosselli helped spark the scandal and all the thanks he got was to have his body stuffed into an oil drum and dumped in Miami’s Dumbfounding Bay. Those mobster type guys simply have no sense of humor.
“But Godfadder……I didn’t mean to say anything…it just kinda slipped out one night when I was high on Doritos, and some guy asked me how the accommodations were at the Watergate Hotel and I told him if it was good enough for Nixon to break into, it was good enough for him.”
“Donta worry Johnny, wea forgivea youse. In fact, in appreciation of youse efforts we hava dis here gift for youse.”
“Geez Goddfadder…a gift……wow….thanks. What’s the gift?”
“Youse gonna go sailing and take a long vacation out on Dumfounding Bay ona your owna private sailing vessel……just till tings cool down a bit….heh, heh.”
I’ve always wondered how exactly one crams a body into an oil drum considering the folding factor. Is there like Yoga involved in the process or just a lot of oil and grease. Not that “I” would ever want to find out. I’m not THAT curious…jusssst in case the Mafia or some Godfadder is reading this blog.
Hey guys….noooooooo problem……..do what ya hafta do. Mums the word. My lips are sealed. Zippo. Besides, I only have two friends and one of them is deaf and blind and the other is my other half who could give a rats ass about oil drums unless she’s having her oil changed at Jiffy Lube.
Much will be said this week about Watergate, the break in, Nixon, the burglars, JFK, the Mafia, FBI, CIA, Fidel Castro, and Vince Castro.
Actually, nothing will be said about Vince Castro because he had nothing to do with JFK or Watergate, but writing Fidel Castro’s name reminded me of an oldie song by Vince Castro, “Bong Bong,” and it was the only way I could include it in today’s blog. I mean all people named Castro are not bad ya know.
At least I don’t think Vince is related to Fidel.
Anyhow, this entire blog was simply so that I could put that one song in this post. Hey….I had to find some way to get you to hear this song! And….considering it IS my favorite oldie, that it never gets any play on oldies radio, and I cleverly tied it into today’s blog……I thought it was a brilliant ploy.
As far as the rest of this story and Watergate………………….
It’s water under the bridge…………
Or, as the Godfadder would say: “It’s Johnny Rosselli under the bridge….floating…in Biscayne Bay.”
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