Every once in a while my brain goes into an overload mode and I have to purge it of all of the useless information that accumulates. How do I do that? Simple I unload it in this blog and insert it into your brains so you can go into an overload mode. Works for me.
First. This story out of Beijing, China today that the government has instituted a “two-fly” rule in all of its public restrooms. No, this has nothing to do with playing baseball in a restroom where you can only hit two fly balls out into the outfield……or urinal.
It means that public restrooms can be fined if the government inspectors come in and, I assume, pull a “fly inspection raid” and find more than two flies in a restroom. Hence, the “two-fly” rule.
Have these people got way too much time on their hands or what? And how much money does a two-fly rule inspector make? Does he have to have a certain quota to meet when it comes to fining people for violating the two-fly rule? Do the flies get arrested too?
Does something like this happen too:
“Xeiong! Put down that banana and put your hands up against the wall you damn two-fly rule violator!”
“Oh pleeeeese…..Oh pleeeeese honorable two-fly police, I did not know there were more than two flies in here. One must have sneaked in when I was not looking.”
“Too late dishonorable peon ratfink type person. You have shamed our honorable leader by allowing two flies to reside in your restroom. You shall be punished accordingly with the statutes relating to anyone who violates the two-fly rule.”
“WAIT honorable two-fly rule government police! Look…..there’s only one fly in here….the other insect is a fruit fly, and thereby saves my honorable ass from being punished.”
“HAH, wrong disreputable person who dares to challenge our authority. You obviously have not read the fruit-fly rule which states that fruit flys also must not be allowed in honorable government rest rooms. You are now under arrest.”
“But why honorable government police type person? If there’s only one fly and one fruit fly why must I be punished?”
“Simple you peon….for breaking the no eating fruit in restroom rule.”
(NOTE) when visiting China do not use any of their restrooms, carry anything on you that attracts fruit flys, and never get caught carrying a DVD of “The Fly” starring Vincent Price)
Then there’s the doctor who helped the CIA hunt down Osama Bin Laden who was just sentenced to 33 years by the Pakistanis. WTF! We send aid to that country in the amount of 3 million dollars a year and they punish the guy for helping us capture a terrorist! This is like a woman being married to a guy that beats her and she stills says to the cops when they arrest him: “In the long run he’s really a sweet guy….when he’s not beating the livin’ crap outta me.”
Hey Pakistan! Yer next check is in the mail. We cut Medicare and Social Security so we’d have enough to pay you this year. Enjoy.
On another note. Here’s a message for city and town officials who charge parking fees in their parking lots or have parking meters strewn all over the place in the downtown shopping district. I call this the “duh” factor.
Now folks, if you can go to a Wal Mart, Target, Home Depot, Stop & Shop and park your car for zippo, nothing, nada, why in the freakin’ world would you pay to park downtown for the privilege of shopping in THOSE stores?
I say this due to the fact that all of us are being nickeled and dimed by any city or town that can get a nickel and dime outta us for stupid stuff…..like parking. WTF! It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know that the economy is in rough shape and everybody has to tighten their belts to survive. So, a dollar saved is a dollar I’m NOT going to shove into a damn parking meter so that I can have the “privilege” of giving the rest of my money to a merchant. HEY….they want my business, get rid of the damn parking meters and parking lot fees. Otherwise I’m off to those other stores like Wal Mart. DUH!
One last note on today’s news front. This one gets the MisfitWisdom Brass Balls Award.” A big set of brass balls goes to Ashton Kutcher for dumping Demi Moore and having a huge set of brass balls for currently dating Demi’s daughter. Wear them proudly you idiot.
If you’ve followed my blogs you’d recall that some time ago when the network that runs “Two And A Half Men” dumped Charlie Sheen and replaced him with Ashton Kutcher I stated that the show would not last without Sheen in it. According to news reports, viewers of this show are dropping like lemmings.
(patting myself on the back)
Finally, my last daily rant is about my donation link which is always at the bottom of this blog. Why do I post it? Because I figure there are a lot of blog readers out there who appreciate the creative efforts that go into writing this stuff. As inane as it is sometimes. That….and because if you’re paying a damn cable company to watch “Two And A Half Men,” which sucks big time, you should throw a few bucks my way for something that only sucks once in a while. (maybe today)
HEY….it was a slow news day for cripes sake.
Anyhow, as I stated in one of my recent blogs, I did receive my very first donation, which means that one person who reads this blog is either very rich, does not have cable TV, has not been fined by the Chinese government for breaking the two-fly rule, appreciates good humor, or actually meant to contribute to Newt Gingrich’s campaign bill deficit and hit the wrong donation button. (I ain’t givin’ back that donation fella)
My intent in that last paragraph was to shame all of you into making donations to the MisfitWisdom cause.
Which is stockpiling donations for a new computer because I’m tired of using the crank on the side of this computer to give it enough power to boot it up. Not to mention that the monitor is an old Zenith TV and my keyboard is from an ancient Royal typewriter.
(for those of you who have no idea what a typewriter is, it’s a keyboard without a monitor)
When it comes to asking for donations, I have absolutely no shame whatsoever. Which is why I hired “Dire Straits” to sing this song for you to lull all of you into donating:
Thanks folks……gotta go….time to renew my power to this computer and it takes a lot of cranking to get up enough power for tomorrows blog. (whew)
(DONATE) Yes, the MisfitWisdom PayPal donate link is posted below as usual. If the link in not highlighted, (blue) which is what the color of me is after cranking this computer up, simply copy and paste the link into your browser and it will take you to the PayPal site. Donations of ANY amount are greatly appreciated. However, if you’re a millionaire, a huge lottery winner, an embezzler who wants to fence some dirty money, or Donald Trump…..ya better fork up biggggg bucks.
Copyright 2012 MisfitWisdom RLV