Yes, if you download music and share it with anyone you could be fined big bucks by those people who monitor people who download music, known as “The Download Police,” otherwise known as “The Recording Industry Association,” or, as some like to refer to them as, “der Gestapo.”
Such is the case of a former Boston University student, Joel Tenenbaum, (no relation to the song, “O Tannenbaum,” which either can be downloaded legally or illegally…have to check that one out lest you be arrested and fined for downloading a Christmas song)
Anyhow, Tenenbaum, from Providence, R.I. the music capitol of the world, was ordered to pay $675,000 for illegally downloading and sharing 30 songs on the Internet, (none of which were “O Tannenbaum,”) and says that he will continue fighting the penalty, despite the Supreme Court’s refusal to hear his appeal. Probably because they don’t know anything about today’s music because most of them are so freakin’ old they think “downloading” is when you go to the bathroom.
That $675,000 fine averages out to $22,500 per song, and considering that he only downloaded 30 songs he should have just gone to a record store and bought a few CD’s for a few bucks. Seems to me that it would be a lot cheaper than paying $22,500 for a song. Just sayin’.
Anyhow, this got me to thinking. Just how long does it have to be before a song is copyright free, or in crime lingo, when does the “statute of limitations” run out on paying royalties for a song? So, I checked into that, lest I get fined for downloading one of my favorite songs, “Camptown Races,” cause I like the “do da, do da, refrain.”
(I did check and I can officially download that song with no FBI agents knocking on my door which allows me to do da, do da, all the do da day without worrying.)
According to the website, “P D Info.” (public domain and royalty free music) you can officially download music without having to worry about some big guy with dark glasses and a bulge under his jacket knocking on your door and demanding you hand over your iPod by simply downloading music that was recorded before 1922.
Yep, all the songs you ever wanted to download for free without any worry can be transferred to your iPod, stupid phone, or implanted into you brain with a tiny microchip and you’ll never get busted.
By the way, can ya be fined for humming a copyright song? Have to check that one out.
So, I took a look at some of the songs on that website that are royalty free and in the “public domain” and here are some really neat toe tapping songs. Considering there are a lot of songs listed alphabetically, I chose some of the songs from A to Z that I myself have chosen to download to my own iPod. Take THAT ya damn recording industry finks.
(these are actual song titles)
“A Hunting We Will Go.” For those times I’m looking for a really good deal at a Wal-Mart.
“Ballin’ The Jack.” Because the term “ball” and “ballin” take on a new meaning in today’s society I wanted something risqué to snicker about while I’m doing my morning workout.
“Cataract Rag.” Just to amuse my optometrist during my yearly eye exams.
“Down Where The Wurzburger Blows.” I had no idea what a “Wurzburger” is or why it “blows” or where it does that blowing, but I was curious enough to download it. I think it’s a German beer or perhaps something more sinister. Which I’m not going to investigate.
“Everybody Wants The Key To My Cellar.” Have no clue as to why this cellar was so popular but I thought it might be interesting to listen to just to find out. I think there was a dead body buried down there, or a booze making facility.
“Fido Is A Hot Dog Now.” Obviously for those of you who do not like dogs. There may have been a follow-up to this song entitled, “Kitty Is In A Can Of Friskies Now.”
“Goober Peas.” Surely a tribute to the late George Lindsay’s father, “Goober Peas Pyle.” (refer to Mayberry RFD)
“He’d Have To Get Under–Get Out And Get Under.” Either this is a song about a mechanic working on a car or this involves a guy visiting a house of ill repute and a hooker. They may have used this song during the filming of “Deep Throat.” Just a guess.
“”I Used To Love You But It’s All Over Now.” Now this song seems to be the same as the song recorded by the “Rolling Stones” back in the 60’s. However, I’m not sure if it has the same line in it that was banned from the airwaves that said, “she used to run around, playing her half-ass games.” Could actually be the same song considering that Mick Jagger might be as old as this song.
“John Browns Body.” Obviously a song recorded by some undertaker years ago that wanted to break into the recording business and he got the idea for the song while just sitting around watching ol John Brown laid out.
“Kitten On The Keys.” Another song most likely inspired by Liberace in his early years while watching his cat walk across his piano keys.
“Lazy Mary, Will You Get Up.” Ah yes, good ol Lazy Mary. This was rerecorded by Lou Monte. I could be wrong, but listen to the song below. Pay close attention to the line about the fireman coming and going.
“Mary Had A Little Lamb.” Boy were her parents surprised. Ewuuuuu….baaaaad joke. Or Ewe.
“”Nobody Knows The Trouble I’ve Seen.” Ok, I downloaded this one out of sympathy for that guy Tenenbaum who’s in a lot of trouble for downloading songs.
Just a few more…..bear with me here.
“Roamin’ In The Glomin.” Anybody know what the hell “glomin” is? Ok….I looked it up and its Scotttish dusk.” Why anyone would want to roam in the glomin is beyond me. Especially at night what with all kinds of creatures lurking in the glomin.” Like that Loch Ness thing.
“Sweet Indiana Home.” I don’t think this was actually a big hit song because Lynyrd Skynyrd were not around at that time and the author had the state wrong. Had he wrote, “Sweet Home Alabama” it might have been a huge hit.
“Take Your Girlie To The Movies If You Can’t Make Love At Home.” Yeah right. Ever try to make out in a movie theater. Damn ushers and their freakin’ flashlights.
“Under the Anheuser Busch.” “Which is most likely where the couple attempting to make out in the movie went to after they got caught.
“William Tell Overture.” Believe it or not I love this song. Um, but not the original. My version is linked below and I have it on all my devices because, according to that website, it’s copyright free. Might wanna download it yourself. It’s worth the listen. Trust me on this one folks.
So those are some of the tunes you can freely download and not worry about being fined for sharing with all of your friends and relatives. Of course if you share these with your friends and relatives they’re going to think your freaking nuts and that your taste in music sucks, but, at least you won’t be going to the slammer or be fined for downloading copyright protected music.
Kinda like a tradeoff.
You lose a lot of friends cause they think you’re a nerd, but, just think of the money you’ll save from not being fined.
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