For those of you old enough to remember television back in the 50’s and 60’s and television commercials, you may recall that there really weren’t a lot of ads for drugs. No you idiot, I’m not talking about marijuana. (had to clarify that because when you so much as mention the word “drugs” in a blog, several thousand people seeking a good deal on weed click on your web site)
I’m talking about the kinds of ads that you see for such drugs as Viagra, and Cialis, which is for erectile dysfunction. Although, the first time I heard that ad I thought it was for “reptile dysfunction.” For the life of me I couldn’t think of any reason a drug manufacturer would want to make a drug for reptiles who were dysfunctional. I eventually sorted it all out when I saw that guy “Bob” smiling after taking the drug.
But before all of these new drugs came out there were hardly any advertisements for prescription medications on television. I’ll mention a few, but I’m sure most of you won’t remember them. Yes, there was Akla-Seltzer, which is still around today. And the regular headache medications such as Aspirin. There was also a product called, “Carter’s Little Liver Pills,” which I assume was to enhance your liver’s longevity. Can’t enjoy life without a really good functional liver.
For me, the worst of the worst was something called, “Father John’s Medicine.” Who the heck was Father John and why did he make such Gawd awful medicine is still a mystery to me today. But….it WAS awful. Supposedly it was a cure-all for any ailment. Kinda like snake oil. I was forced to take it as a child and that stuff defied the laws of gravity. If you could get it past your tongue, you still weren’t safe because it was like swallowing molasses. Made ya wanna barf. Which was probably the intent of the medicine.
Today’s commercials for medications scare the hell outta me. Yeah, if you have insomnia, erectile dysfunction problems, high cholesteral, headaches, allergies, marriage and an entire list of other ailments, there’s a pill advertised on TV that will solve all of your problems.
BUT…did ya ever pay attention to the side effects of taking these pills? They’re worse than the problem you had originally before taking that pill.
“Yes folks, if you have a problem with erectile dysfunction, take “Boner,” the new advanced medication for erectile dysfunction from “Happy Day Laboratories.” One pill and your life will be filled with many hours of romantic interludes. “BONER”……the happy pill for happy moments.”*
*side-effects include a strong desire to subscribe to Playboy or Hustler magazines; sudden attraction and feelings of lust for your mother-in-law; in some rare instances men taking “Boner” have overdosed on “Woolite” after dreaming of sheep in their sleep; if you have an erection lasting more than four days please consult your physician and then the Guinness Book of World Records. Happy Day Laboratories cannot be held responsible for any paternity suits brought against you if you take more than the required dosage and go on a marathon love spree. Further side effects may include a physical attraction to yourself after looking into a mirror after you’ve exited the shower and possible injuries sustained while attempting various sexual positions without the aid of ropes and pulleys.”
If you pay attention to these prescription medications advertised on TV you’ll see that I’m really not exaggerating the side effects. You’ll need to take another medication to counter the side effects from the original side effects and then another pill to counter the side effects from the side effect pill that you took to get rid of the original side effects.
So, by the time you’re through taking all of these pills, and they find your body sprawled out on your bedroom floor, you’ll probably resemble a pile of sawdust. (those of you men taking Viagra or Cialis will obviously be found with smiles on your faces)
As far as I’m concerned I’m just going to deal with whatever ailment I have without adding more ailments to the list of the ones I already have by taking more medication that has any of those side effects.
UNLESS…..some company comes out with a pill especially made to counter side effects.
Right now the only pill I take that is a prescription drug is for high cholesterol, and, as far as I can determine, there are no side effects.
Except the desire to write this stupid blog every day………………..
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