FINALLY!!! Something Other Than A Gigantic Bug That We Can EAT!!!!

Remember all that stuff I wrote about in the past few months about giant rats, bugs and Gawd knows what else lurking out there.  Well FINALLY something giant isn’t scaring the bejesus out of me. At least THIS giant thing you can actually eat. Unlike the other ones that will eat you. And this one is tasty….I think.

It’s a gigantic Cannibal shrimp. Um…..wait a sec…..”cannibal”….shrimp….????

Geez…..I hope this doesn’t mean that it will jump outta your plate at a restaurant, grab a bottle of cocktail sauce and then eat YOU!!  OMG!

Yeseree by goleeee…I wuz mindin’ my own business when this here giant shrimp jumped into my boat and we fought it out hand and claw until I conked him over the head with a bottle of cocktail sauce….damn SOB.

Hmmmm…..let’s see. According to reporter Claudine Zap, these huge shrimp-eating shrimp have been spotted in waters from North Carolina to Texas.  Shrimp-eating shrimp? WTF!  Is nothing sacred among crustaceans?

OK….I really don’t care if shrimp eat each other. But can WE eat them in return? Which is kinda like two for the price of one if you count the other shrimp they’ve already eaten. Good deal as far as I’m concerned. Considering the price of a really good shrimp dinner.

Tony Resinger, of the “Texas Sea Grant Extension Service,” which I assume grants extensions to anyone needing them who is at sea to plug-in huge lights to spot shrimp in the dark, said that these shrimp called the “tiger pawn” are cannibalistic as are other shrimp, but because it’s so big it can consume other shrimp.

Ya know what I could never understand. Why are shrimp called shrimp? If it’s because they’re small, then what would you call  bigggg shrimp like these? Obviously not shrimp. Which is what they used to call me when I was a kid because I was so short.

Anyhow, the influx of these shrimp, which resemble a small lobster, has increased 10 times in the last year. From only 32 in 2010 to 331 in 2011.  Which could also be an indication that they might be on steroids. Kinda like Roger Clemens except that shrimp do not play baseball.

James A. Morris, (no relation to Phillip Morris) who works for the “National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration’s Center for Coastal Fisheries and Habitat Research,” (whew) for short, “NOAACCFHR” says that “The Asian tiger shrimp represents yet another potential marine invader, (not a Semper Fi marine) capable of altering fragile marine ecosystems.”

And we all know how fragile marine ecosystems are.

(looking up what an “ecosystem” is)

ecosystem (n)

 [ ékō sìstəm ]
  1. organisms and their environment: a localized group of interdependent organisms together with the environment that they inhabit and depend on.

OH….I get it. A localized group of organisms who hang out together somewhere in an environment that they live in and when someone else, like another organism comes into their neighborhood, they attack them and beat the livin’ crap outta them.

Kinda like when you get a flat tire in a seedy neighborhood, call AAA, and by the time they get there your car is stripped down to the axle.

Just thought I’d put that into context for you just in case you weren’t following what these Asian gigantic shrimp are capable of doing.

For those of you who prefer the “flash card” method of learning about the ecosystem and Asian shrimp, this should explain it for you.

My suggestion, if you plan on eating any shrimp that come from the North Carolina to Texas area.

1. Make sure you are heavily armed entering any restaurant serving these shrimp.

2. If you are sitting at your table ready to eat one of these shrimp, and it beats you to the cocktail sauce first, run like hell.

3. If all else fails, and you find yourself cornered by one of these Asian shrimp…..try communicating with it by telling it you really love Charlie Chan movies and are also a big fan of Bruce Lee movies and that you’ve taken lessons in Karate and Judo.

Otherwise you’re basically screwed and you will become part of the marine ecosystem once those shrimp escape and return back to the Gulf of Mexico. That’s the bad news.

The good news.  If you DO become part of the marine ecosystem, you too might triple in size like these gigantic shrimp, then come back and get your revenge.

Let me know how that works out of ya.

(DONATE) The MisfitWisdom PayPal donate link is posted below. If it is not highlighted, (blue) copy and paste the link into your browser and it will take you to the PayPal site. Friday, (today) PayPal usually serves shrimp on its menu so you might luck out by going there to make a donation.  Huge donations get the large Asian cannibal shrimp. Small donations get eaten by the large Asian cannibal shrimp. Just warnin’ ya.

Copyright 2012 MisfitWisdom RLV


About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on and Kindle
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