Does Riding A Motorcycle Give You The Same Effect As Overdosing On Viagra?

I know this sounds a bit far-fetched, depending on how far you wanna be fetched, but this is a true story.  Seeing that I’ve always liked stories, even as a child. I’ll start this one with….

“Once Upon A Time.”  Because it is kinda like a fairy tale when you think about it. No fairies involved….I think. Only hard core motorcycle tattoo covered dyed in the wool bikers with bigggg……um…….well read on.

It seems that Henry Wolf, from San Francisco, (no relation to Wolf Blitzer or Nero Wolfe) has engaged the services of an attorney because he says that his “BMW” motorcycle gave him an erection that lasted two years. Which I can see his logic when it comes to hiring an attorney. After all, mounting a motorcycle isn’t something you’d care to do all the time with an erection considering you’d rather be mounting other things where a two-year erection does come in handy.

Apparently Mr. Wolf has been experiencing continuing problems since his motorcycle ride, which began when he mounted his 1993 BMW, which he claims is due to the rigid seat, and that it left him with mental and emotional anguish after allegedly causing an extreme case of priapism, also known as a long-lasting erection. A term crane operators also use when erecting huge skyscrapers that are expected to last a long time as well.

“Harry…..swing that crane over here and I’ll weld this steel beam in place so that it have a priapism for life.”

“HUH?”

“Priapism,” for those of you not familiar with the term, or erections, is named after the Greek fertility God Priapus, who is commonly depicted as having an unusually large erection.  There was no mention in this article written by Eric Pfeiffer of “Sideshow,” as to whether Priapus owned a BMW motorcycle or may have owned a BMW at some point.  Attorneys for Mr.Wolf might wanna check into that.

However, according to the article, Michigan Institute of Urology’s Dr. Michael Luts, (not to be confused with “nuts.”) said there is “no medical data” to support Wolf’s claim, citing evidence that riding a motorcycle for an extended period of time typically works against the body’s ability to achieve sexual arousal.

Which may account for the number of Harley-Davidson motorcycle riders who opt to loot and pillage villages rather than link up with a hot babe in a bar and engage in sexual activities.

“Soooooo, what’s your problem Mr. Switchblade?”

“Well Doc, ever since I’ve been riding my motorcycle all I wanna do is loot and pillage villages, kick dogs around, beat up on my biker chick and scarf down Heinekens….I just don’t have that ol sex drive anymore….what do ya suppose is the problem?”

“Hmmmm….have you been riding your motorcycle on a consistent basis?”

“Yeah….all the time….gotta keep up my image as a biker ya know.”

“Hmmmm…..and do you have sexual desires while riding your motorcycle?”

“Um….no….do ya think riding the motorcycle is the problem?”

“No…..I think riding a Harley-Davidson is the problem….ya need to switch to a BMW.”

“A BMW!!!!  A BMW!!! Geez Doc…how the hell do ya expect me to loot and pillage villages with a hot chick on the back of my bike driving a BMW?

“Look Mr. Switchblade, do ya want a bigggg erection and a lot of sex or are you just content looting and pillaging?”

“Wanna really good deal on a slightly used Harley Doc?”

The latest Harley-Davidson, installed with an official BMW biker seat guaranteed to keep you "erect" in your seat for more than two years.

Technically speaking, which is what Dr. Luts goes on to say, technically,  “It’s been long-known that compression of the neurovascular supply to the penis, (I think I’m getting a bit queasy) if it’s compressed for a period of time, whether it be on a bicycle or some other device, (women not included as one of those devices) it can actually cause prolonged numbness of the genitalia.”

Which is the same effect you get from wearing too tight Fruit of the Looms jockey shorts.

This case should be an interesting one. Will Mr. Wolf win his lawsuit? Will BMW be responsible for his long-lasting two-year erection? Will a bunch of Hells Angels now be riding BMW motorcycles and sporting huge erections?  Will Fruit of the Loom jockey shorts take second place to boxer shorts? AND…..will Viagra and Cialis ads be showing guys riding BMW cycles instead of lounging around in a bathtub in the woods with a woman?

My guess would be to pull all of your stock investments out of Viagra and Cialis and put your money into BMW Motorcycle stock as the next big erection….um….sorry….as the next big erectile dysfunction solution for men.

Why spend your savings on popping a pill when ya can jump on a motorcycle, get an erection that lasts for two years, and STILL continue to loot and pillage villages. Might even be able to cut back on the looting and pillaging villages with the money you save on Viagra and Cialis prescriptions.

Yes…..quality time at home with your hot biker babe thanks to BMW.

Essential gear for any motorcyclist

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Copyright 2012 MisfitWisdom RLV

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About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
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1 Response to Does Riding A Motorcycle Give You The Same Effect As Overdosing On Viagra?

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