I’m usually not a very superstitious person. I mean I DO take certain precautions like avoiding black cats, and not walking under a ladder or EVER answering the question, “does this dress make me look fat?” Hey, why tempt fate. Besides, I’ve got all the time in the world to avoid cats, black ones anyhow, and why would I walk under a ladder in the first place, and that last one is a no-brainer.
BUT…..would I book passage on a new Titanic? I don’t think so. Especially after all the latest boat sinkings. Foremost, that one that’s still lying on its side off the coast of Italy. Geez….if they can’t even sail a damn cruise ship without it sinking in calm waters how do ya expect me to have any confidence in some captain sailing the new Titanic across the damn ocean without hitting an iceberg again.
But, that’s the plan of Australian mining magnate Clive Palmer who announced plans to build an ultra-modern luxury version of the Titanic.
(note: Hey Clive….might wanna invite Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet to sail on the maiden voyage jussssst in case. Oh yeah, and Celine Dion. Might as well be prepared for the “Titanic II” sequel)
Clive says that the new Titanic will be as luxurious as the original Titanic and will have state-of-the-art 21st century technology and the latest navigation and safety systems. Kinda like the Costa Concordia, which as I said, is still lying on its side off the coast of Italy.
Nothing against the Chinese, but that’s who Clive has commissioned to construct the Titanic II. Um, are these the SAME Chinese who make those toys that go into “Cracker Jack” boxes? Oops.
“Look Ma…..my prize is a miniature lifeboat!”
On top of all this, the Titanic II will be sailing from England to New York, just like the original Titanic, and is scheduled to make that voyage in 2016. So, if you’re not of the faint hearted, book your trip now. Might wanna pack a few life jackets to be on the safe side and, when you’re finally on board, take an inventory of lifeboats, their locations, and see if you can get your room near one of those. Again….jussssst in case.
A further precaution which might be in order. If you’re a guy, you know how they always take women and children first when a ship is sinking. So, to increase your chances of survival, you might wanna pack some women’s clothes and a wig to enhance your chances of survival. Cover all bases, that’s my motto. Might wanna just dress in drag for the entire trip.
Now, I’m sure the new Titanic will be completely safe and seaworthy. After all, this isn’t the dark ages and it certainly isn’t 1912. And what the heck are the chances of a stray iceberg or two slamming into the new Titanic anyway….practically nil.
Um…..wait a sec.
OMG!!! OMG!!! It’s the Costa Concordia. The Costa Concordia with its state-of-the-art 21st century technology and the latest navigation and safety systems!!!!
Um….did the Chinese have anything to do with building this ship?
OK….cue in Celine Dion:
(DONATE) The MisfitWisdom Pay Pal Donate link is posted below. If it is not highlighted, (blue) as in very deep water “blue” surrounded by bigggg icebergs, simply copy and paste it into your browser and it will take you to the PayPal site. It’s clear sailing to the PayPal site and, at last report, there were not icebergs in the vicinity.
Copyright 2012 MisfitWisdom RLV