According To The “Christian Singles” Website…”GOD” Will Pick Your Perfect Match.

Yep….I’m sure all of you have seen the “Christian Singles” matchmaking website for single Christians. I’m of course assuming that you actually have to be a certified Christian to join. I’m also not sure if you have to produce documentation with some sort of paperwork to attest to that either.  Might wanna check that out before you attempt to join. You know how irritating it is to stand in line waiting to have “God” check out your qualifications only to find out that you get disqualified for not actually being a full-blown Christian or that you’re a borderline case.

So, I began to wonder, being a Christian myself, where exactly was “GOD” when I was single and was searching for my soul mate.  There wasn’t a Christian Matchmaking website back in those days when I was younger, (42BC) but it sure would have helped when it came to selecting a mate. Considering I was married and divorced twice and didn’t find my soul mate until I was in my late 50’s.

Did “GOD” like not have access to a computer back then? I know the Internet hasn’t been around that long but you would think at least “GOD” would have had an edge when it came to knowing that it would have been invented, and, maybe….just maybe, sent us single guys some sort of message saying that we should hold off till he got his own website up and running.

Now that "GOD" actually is connected to the Internet, besides playing matchmaker for that "Christian Singles" website, he does tend to find other ways to amuse himself during slack periods.

Something, short of a burning bush, or some guy wielding a bunch of stone tablets. Something maybe, for us Christians, while you’re in the confessional, confessing all of your horrible sins, the priest leans over and says, “Hey, by the way, hold off on marrying that chick you’ve been dating because”GOD” says she’s not the correct match for you.”

Now, what I’m also thinking, because my mind always looks at the other side of the coin, suppose you join this “Christian Singles” matchmaking service, which claims something along the lines of, “find GOD’s match for you,” and you go along with what “GOD” says is your perfect match, because obviously “GOD” is telling you, along with the matchmaking service, that you should hook up with whomever the matchmaking service, and “GOD” says is your soul mate, what if it isn’t your perfect match? Then what?

Are ya gonna be really ticked off at “GOD” if the relationship fails?  I mean, it’s not like you can pick up the phone and talk directly to “GOD” himself and tell him, “Hey….WTF! AND….the matchmaking service, “Christian Singles,” obviously is only the middle man so you really can’t hold them responsible if the relationship fails.

Nope….the ol buck stops at the very top.

Which raises yet another question.  Does “GOD,” and “Christian Singles” include everyone in their matchmaking?  We all know “GOD” supposedly does not discriminate, but, would he match up a guy with a guy and a woman with a woman if he thought it was your perfect mate?  Kinda shaky ground there don’t ya think?

Not being able to directly contact “GOD” himself, I’m unable to answer all of these burning questions. And I don’t trust his representatives to level with me either. After all, they’re just middle men. If I’m gonna have the “Christian Singles” website tell me that “GOD” says I should go for the gold with the woman they say I should hook up with for life, I sure as hell…oops….sorry “GOD”….I’m sure as shootin’ gonna wanna hear it from the big guys’ office.

I think he owes me at least that for the other two relationships I screwed up.

So, I’m not sure if I would completely have “faith,” (play on words there) in “Christian Singles” to speak for “GOD” himself. Not only that, but there are so many variations of “GOD’S” these days, what with all of the various religions, so how would I actually know I actually were talking to the right “GOD?”  Suppose my “perfect match” worships another “GOD” and I were talking to the wrong “GOD”…..then what?

Geez…..this is all so confusing.

I don’t know what to tell all of you who are searching for the perfect mate and are considering using the “Christian Singles” website. Not to mention the atheists out there who are just floating around in limbo with no “GOD” to confer with. Which may account for the number of atheists who are apparently single. My guess anyhow.

The best I can do is tell you to follow your heart when it comes to selecting your perfect mate. It finally worked out for me in the long run, after those two failures, which I did “NOT” blame the big guy for.  Just my own stupidity.

At least if you opt to go with the flow and follow your heart, and it doesn’t work out, you won’t be ticked off at “GOD” for steering you in the wrong direction.

And you really don’t wanna be ticked off at “GOD” for anything.

Jusssssssst in case he DOES have the Internet, and gets back at you for being ticked off and sends you an e-mail that you should hook up with Thelma Grosznik, that hot babe in your office, which you go ahead and do, and then find out she’s the b***h from hell, and then realize that “GOD” not only is sticking it to you for being ticked off at him, but, that he DOES have a sense of humor.

Which I personally think he does……otherwise I wouldn’t have been married and divorced twice. And he wouldn’t have made Adam go nutso over Eve just because some serpent gave him an apple to eat. I mean, it’s not like he didn’t see Eve naked before ya know.

(continue on down to the bottom of this page for a final note)

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Copyright 2012 MisfitWisdom RLV

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(NOTE)  Not wanting to EVER offend anyone, I always check with various organizations and groups I write about just to make sure what I wrote was acceptable. I’m sure this blog was ok because I got this very thoughtful card back in the mail.

About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
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