I just discovered that I’m a degenerate. Yep….a low down slug. I’m sooooo ashamed of myself. I can’t even look at myself in the mirror anymore. Well, actually the only reason I can’t look at myself in the mirror anymore is because I don’t recognize that old guy staring back at me. Really scary.
As far as being a degenerate, I guess I fall into that category because I love to play slut machines…..oops….sorry….misspelled word there. When you’re as old as I am you tend to focus on sex all of the time. Sorry.
Nope, I’m referring to SLOT machines. Might as well throw in playing the lottery too. HEY…if I’m going to be a degenerate I might as well go for the whole ball of wax…..whatever “whole ball of wax means.”
I recently bought a book by author Debbie Tosun Kilday entitled, “No Limits: How I Beat The Slots.” (amazon.com) I ordered the book because I originally thought it was a crime story involving “sluts,” because I love crime stories involving sluts and CSI investigations. However, it turned out that it was about beating slot machines and not sluts. Loving both, I decided to keep the book and read it.
Debbie chronicles her experiences playing slot machines and in detail tells the reader how she won millions of dollars over a period of time and the many people she met along the way. Both regular everyday degenerates such as myself and some very well-known celebrities.
I picked up on the word, “degenerate” because Debbie herself was labeled a “degenerate” by many people close to her due to the fact that she loved to play slot machines. BUT…..many of these same people were also more than willing to tap her for money she won playing slots. Which….I personally think would make THEM the “degenerates.”
So, if Debbie is a “degenerate” for playing slot machines, then I too fall into that category. Yep…ol Misfit loves playing slot machines, Keno, the lottery, and “Fish.” Yeah….you remember that old card game “Fish” don’t ya. Um, wait a minute….oops….sorry….Fish is NOT one of the games they offer at any casinos. BUT…if it was, I’d play it. I’m verrrry good at playing Fish.
Gambling is supposed to be bad according to all the people who know what’s bad for us and what’s good for us. Like all the states who run ads to inform us just how bad gambling is and if ya need help you can call a number to get help….if you need it. Meanwhile, back at the ranch, (state coffers) they gleefully count all the money they’ve taken in from their cut of the casinos profit……and us degenerates.
So, actually what all this means is that gambling is bad for US but NOT for the states.
Kinda like a double-edged sword.
“Hey ya damn degenerate, you are the lowest form of life on this earth wasting all that money playing that damn slot machine….stand up and look ashamed! Haven’t you seen all those ads on TV and in the newspaper telling you just how bad gambling is for you?”
“Um….geez…..no, I was too busy enjoying myself playing slot machines, meeting some really nice people, and just relaxing.”
“Enjoying yourself! Playing slot machines! Meeting some nice people! Relaxing! WHAT…are you freakin’ nuts. You’re wasting money you damn idiot! Just how much have you poured into that machine already?”
“Twenty dollars! Twenty dollars! IS THAT ALL? For cripes sakes, if you’re gonna be classified as a damn degenerate ya gotta spend more than twenty damn dollars!”
“But I thought you said gambling was bad and I shouldn’t be doing it.”
“Oh yeah…that…um…well, it IS bad, but if you’re determined to be a degenerate and gamble we here at (insert your local state here) having done our patriotic duty to inform you that gambling is bad, wish to extend to you our deepest appreciation for contributing to the millions of dollars we ourselves make from degenerates like you. God bless you.”
“Oh by the way…..can I interest you in a state-run twenty-dollar scratch off lottery ticket?”
So, all in all I think I really don’t mind being called a degenerate. Neither should Debbie. One must remember those prophetic words from one of the worlds most famous philosophers, “Billy Joel,” who once said….or sang…….
“They say there’s a Heaven for those who will wait
Some say it’s better but I say it ain’t
I’d rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints
The sinners are much more fun…”
(From “Only The Good Die Young-Billy Joel)
Hey Deb…..it appears you and I (degenerates) are gonna live for a verrrrrry long time……
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