There isn’t much that upsets me these days because whenever I tend to get upset I overdose on some really good chocolate. Calms me down, tastes really good, and makes me forget about all of the craziness in the world…..except for the story that hit the Internet today that we may run out of chocolate.
NOW I’M FREAKED OUT OF MY MIND!!!! RUN OUT OF CHOCOLATE!!!! WTF!!!
It’s a damn terrorist plot I tell ya. Either that, or THAT’S the real reason the world will come to an end, according to those Mayan’s, on December 21st, 2012. Everybody knows we can’t survive without chocolate for gawd sakes. It’ll be the end of the world as we know it. DAMN!
Here was this story tucked away in the lower recesses of the Internet written by Christina Ng, who I suspect has Mayan ties. The headline read, “Could The Appetite For Chocolate Exceed The World’s Supply?” Which immediately caught my attention as I was surfing the Web and munching on an M&M.
Apparently the world’s demand for chocolate almost exceeds the ability of worn-out plants to produce it. Worn out plants? How damn worn out can a plant get just growing out of the ground and enjoying the sunshine and an occasional rain shower? AND….have ya ever seen a worn-out plant?
This worn out plant theory doesn’t hold any water as far as I’m concerned. I base this on the number of times I’ve killed dandelions and bittersweet in my backyard and those suckers keep on coming back. They don’t look worn-out or none for the worse to me.
Now experts say it’s not time to panic. They point out that, “an improvement needs to be made to extend this supply chain.” According to Robert Peck, who is the senior director of operations for the “World Cocoa Foundation,” “we have to start thinking where is that increase in supply going to happen and how are we going to get it.”
HEY BOB……here’s a damn clue….it’s gonna happen here cause I’m gonna run out and stock up on as much chocolate as I can get my stinkin’ hands on!!!! Ain’t gonna catch me chocolateless. HAH! I’m one M&M ahead of ya.
Think I’m kidding folks. Experts predict that by the year 2020, if we’re still around after 12/21/12 that is, that the demand for chocolate will increase by 25 percent. AND….this does not take into consideration the amount of chocolate used by chickens across the world to make chocolate Easter eggs. (we all know chickens make eggs and rabbits, or bunnies, only deliver them)
Which is the main reason people eat a lot of chickens and not bunnies. Simply due to the fact that people are under the wrong impression that it’s the bunny who lays and delivers chocolate eggs making the chicken expendable immediately after Easter.
Adding to the problem, Andrew Pederson, global chocolate manager for Mars, Inc. (not the planet) who manufacture M&Ms, Milky Way, Snickers and other confections says that, “crops don’t perform well because they are aging pretty badly.” And of course can’t receive Botox injections. My guess.
The good news is that chocolate consumers will not immediately see a major rise in chocolate prices anytime soon.
The bad news is that the M&M guy who strips down naked in those M&M commercials in front of a bunch of conservative party people may be banned from M&M packages.
It’s an image thing.
(DONATE) The MisfitWisdom PayPal donate link is posted below. If it is not highlighted, (blue) it may be due to the fact that it has lost its outer candy coating after attending that same party where that little M&M guy stripped down naked. “DO NOT EAT” the link. Simply copy and paste the remainder of the link into your browser and it will take you to the PayPal site. While there you can always purchase a new bag of M&M’s WITH their shells, or clothes on.
Copyright 2012 MisfitWisdom RLV