When writing these blogs I tend to concentrate on one subject, which usually depends on how long I can actually concentrate on one subject. Which usually isn’t very long. I have a short attention span. Which I think most short people have.
While writing one of my blogs this past week I mentioned artist Andrew Wyeth because I was attempting to make a point about something. I was actually looking for an artist that painted erotic paintings but settled on Wyeth in the end because I came across too many erotic paintings by various artists and was getting too aroused to write anymore. So I went with Wyeth before it got out of hand. However, in my search I first entered the name of “Rembrandt” because he was the first artist I thought of. Couldn’t find anything erotic by him however.
But, what was interesting was his full name. “Rembrandt Harmenszoon Van Rijn.” Which should be some consolation for anyone named Lipschitz. No offense to anyone named Lipschitz of course. It’s a good thing he used his first name on all of his paintings otherwise we’d all be staring at Harmenszoon’s or Van Rijn’s in an art gallery.
Then this week my other half began reading the book about Sarah Palin, “Game Change.” Only because I encouraged her to take it out of our local library so that she could read it and then fill me in on the juicy parts.
(There was no way in hell “I” or my other half would EVER “BUY” a book by ANY Palin. She ain’t gettin’ rich off of us….no way Jose. No offense to anyone named Jose who may have bought her book)
Anyhow, I would have read it myself but I have absolutely no ability to concentrate on what I read these days because I’m too busy concentrating on other stuff, which requires a lot of serious concentrating. Like what pills I should take in the morning so that I don’t disintegrate into a pile of sawdust.
So, as I was in one of my “attempting to concentrate” on something moments, she broke my concentration by telling me how stupid Palin was and how McCain as well as his aides regretted choosing her as his running mate for Vice President.
“Honey, did you know that Sarah Palin knew nothing about foreign policy?”
I nodded and continued with my attempt at concentrating.
“And, she sounded so stupid when she said that she could see Russia from her patio in Alaska.”
Which then led me to think, after my concentration had been broken once again, that I could actually be a candidate for Vice President. Because I too have an abundance of stupidity, like Palin, and could very well be a perfect running mate for any one of those candidates currently running for the nomination for El Presidente in the Republican primaries.
Foreign policy….hell…..I know nothing about foreign policy other than if you want to have a foreign policy you have to get a foreign insurance agent from another country to explain the terms if you want to take out a foreign insurance policy. But, does the person named as the beneficiary in that policy have to go to a foreign country to cash it in? Beats me.
And if Sarah thinks it was a big deal that she could see Russia from her patio, hell, I can see the Mohegan Sun Casino from MY patio. Which is much better because during the summer when they have fireworks I never have to leave my patio to see them. Take that Sarah! What the hell kinda entertainment do ya get from seeing Russia from YOUR patio!
So then I went back into my concentrating mode attempting to scour the Internet for really good news items. I DID find some encouraging news on gas prices. The State of Connecticut is going to give its residents a break on the taxes on gas. Right now the combined tax on a gallon of gas is fifty cents. So the Governor sez he’s going to cut us some slack and knock off 1.3 cents per gallon. Which then again broke my concentration as I turned to my other half, broke her concentration by saying….WTF!………..1.3 cents!!!!!
With that savings I might be able to buy that new 3D HDTV by the year 2045. Thanks Gov. #%$#@!%$@ idiot! Which could also qualify HIM for a Vice Presidential candidate.
Soooooo, after all of this intense concentration I eventually went out to my own Sarah Palin look-a-like patio, plopped myself down in my favorite chair for a moment of non concentration and as I gazed out into my back yard, wondered, to my other half, where are all the squirrels?
She immediately reminded me that, due to the economy and our tight budget, that we had not kept up with feeding them this past winter and in fact, the one giant bag of peanuts that I had bought for them was devoured by yours truly instead of the squirrels.
HEY….it was either them or me surviving the damn winter with a snack!
I immediately felt a pang of guilt that I had been so selfish as to eat that entire bag of peanuts, thus possibly contributing to the demise of squirrels due to starvation. I began to wonder if I could be charged with a crime like genocide or something. Would I be dragged off to the Hague and tried in their court? Would squirrels be on the jury? If so, what chance would I have?
At that point I decided not to concentrate any longer. Why work myself into a frenzy worrying about squirrels, Sarah Palin, Rembrandt, and my ability not to concentrate on things that really mattered. So I gave up concentrating.
Which is the main reason I wrote all of this stupid stuff in my blog today…….BECAUSE I CAN’T CONCENTRATE ON ANYTHING.
It’s not easy living with a woman who constantly breaks your concentration with the vacuum cleaner from hell, requests for help with cat barf, constant reminders that it’s trash day, would you go out and get the mail, help me, my finger is stuck in the sink drain, come look at how cute this cat is, can ya help me make the bed, and the mother of all concentration breakers, “can I just sit behind you while you write…….oh look….you spelled the word concentration wrong several times!”
In a classic line from the movie “Contagion” where someone says to a blogger: “Blogging is not writing, it’s graffiti,” I rest my case. All this today is simply graffiti.
(DONATE) The MisfitWisdom graffiti blog PayPal donate link is posted below. If it is not highlighted, (blue) for lack of concentration, simply copy and paste it into your browser……… if you’re able to concentrate, and it will take you to the PayPal site. Do not do this if there is a woman within 5 feet of you as you will be unable to concentrate and forget why the hell you went to PayPal in the first place.
Copyright 2012 MisfitWisdom RLV