Hey Rush! The Last Professional Hooker Madam Died In Montana.

Yes folks, a very sad day in Butte, Montana. (pronounced “beaut” and not “butt”) as some of you may think it’s pronounced, which, I can understand considering the nature of today’s blog. Little play on words there.

I’m sure Rush Limbaugh will be greatly saddened to hear the news of the passing of Butte’s last remaining brothel madam, Ruby Garrett who went to the big brothel in the sky this week at age 94.  Sadly she spent her last remaining years in a nursing home. But I’ll bet ya she sure as hell kept those old guys in there with her entertained with some really great stories.

Madam Ruby Garrett. Kinda looks like my own grandma.....damn....I'd better start researching my family tree.

Considering that ol Rush has this thing for prostitutes and sluts you would think he’d at least offer his condolences.  At least THIS time he’d get it right when he used that term and I really don’t think anyone would be offended because, as we all know, brothels do employ prostitutes. Although, I might back off a bit on the “slut” classification.  Prostitutes, for the most part are very hard-working women providing a service which is legal in some parts of the United States.

Sluts on the other hand, can fall into various categories, none of which I’m going to venture into…..the categories and not the sluts. Unless of course Rush wants to chime in here.

Ruby Garrett ran the very last brothel in Butte, the “Dumas Brothel,” and it was very successful due to the fact that it was a mining town, with, I assume a lot of miners, which you would obviously find in a mining town, and miners, who obviously like to mine, and after they’ve done their daily mining, then, after a nice hot shower to wash off all of that mining stuff, head off to the brothel to mine other stuff….mainly women.

“Hey babeeee……what’s mine is mine and what’s your is yours so ya wanna do some prospecting?  Might just strike a solid vein…heh heh heh.”

Those miners really had a great sense of humor ya know.

Garrett went to prison a few times over the course of her madam days. Once for shooting her husband five times, (an accident I think) during a card game, but insisted that she shot him because he abused her repeatedly. Most likely cheating at cards, which my other half accuses me of repeatedly, but I’m safe…..we don’t own any guns.

Garrett went to prison again for failing to report her earnings.  Hmmmm……prostitutes and madams have to report their earnings?  How the hell do ya list your occupation on those W2 forms anyhow? AND…….I’d be curious to see what she listed as deductible “expenses” too.  Are condoms considered a deductible expense? Hmmm….I suppose if ya buy them by the truckload.

The “Dumas Brothel” as reported on the website, “Ghosts of The Dumas Brothel” has a number of interesting photos of the brothel which is supposed to be, to this day, haunted. By whom, I have no idea….but, in my own opinion, it’s either by old prostitutes or unsatisfied customers. I’m kinda leaning towards old prostitutes as I can’t imagine ANY customer not being satisfied.  (one of the haunted photos taken below)

Supposedly this is a photo of the "Dumas Brothel" being haunted with some sort of object just floating around as caught by a camera. My guess, considering this "WAS" a brothel, is that it's most likely a condom.

When Garrett was in her late 70’s she once had some advice for the next generation of women.  “These little chippies who will do it for a burger and a beer, I say they might as well sell it.”

Geez…..hookers back then were doing it for a burger and a beer?  Holy crap!  Had I known that I might have considered opening a new franchise out there.  Might have made it a fast food/beer chain called…um……..”McBurgerbeerbosums.”  Might have a slight glitch with drive through window sales however. I’m sure that it could be worked out.

So, another part of history bites the dust, so to speak. The final remaining madam of Butte, Montana will now enter St. Peter’s Pearly Gates.  With a lot of explaining to do.

St. Peter, for any of you who are familiar with the Gospel, was considered to be the spokesmen for the Apostles, kinda like a PR man for God, so, taking that into consideration, Madam Garrett might stand a chance of gaining admittance based on the fact that she provided a necessary service to those miners who other wise might have just went out on a night of drinking after all that mining stuff and got into brawls and tore up the town instead of spending a quiet evening with a hooker and then, after some friendly conversation and possibly a friendly card game, (strip poker maybe) simply went home.

Based on that, I think St. Peter might cut her some slack.

Especially if St. Peter ever played poker while hanging out with the other Apostles when he himself was back on earth. Makes sense….St. Peter was a fisherman by trade so you know as well as I do that when you’re waiting for the fish to bite there’s really nothing else to do but wait around, and….perhaps play a game of poker.

Just a thought.

(DONATE) The MisfitWisdom PayPal donate link is posted below. If it is not highlighted, (blue with a halo around it) simply copy and paste it into your browser and it will take you to the PayPal site.  St. Peter would greatly approve of any of you making a donation, I’m totally sure of that considering, like St. Peter, I used to also play poker, although not with any Apostles.  So, ante up!

https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=DJNAUQEKDRSZS

Now….a tribute to Ruby, (youtube) via Donna Summer

Copyright 2012 MisfitWisdom RLV

Header: chickart@cox.net

About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s