I know what you’re all thinking….NOW WHAT! You’re all thinking I’m a freakin’ nutcase because of that headline above. Look folks, I don’t make up this stuff, I just report it to the best of my ability as a public service to benefit all of mankind……..in this instance…..womankind. I think. Depends on how you interpret this story.
Once again a valiant dedicated researcher, with nothing better to do with his time, has taken a bunch of lab mice and has determined that mice with an extra “girly” sex chromosome seem to have an insatiable appetite for sex. Which may account for the number of times many of you may have discovered leftover bits of cheese scattered all over your living room floor when you get up in the morning along with traces of cigarette smoke.
Mice like to nibble after having sex and usually like to light up for a good smoke as well.
The study was conducted by researcher Paul Bonthuis, a graduate student at the University of Virginia. Yes, the same “Virginia” that I wrote about the other day that requires women to have that invasive mandatory ultrasound test. Which now may be expanded to the mouse population.
The researcher, Paul, studied two special lines of mice. Now this gets kind of technical, but try to follow along here. In the first, they were able to separate the effects of the X and Y chromosomes from the mouse’s sexual development which is dependent on the Y chromosome. For instance, males with to X’s or females that have a Y still developed normally; they had normal genitalia and sexual behaviors for their gender.
(good thing I know my A, B, Cs)
Which gave me some sort of relief because I’d hate to come across a mouse in a mousetrap and not know what sex it was. I tend to show more compassion for female mice than male mice. It’s a guy thing.
Anyhow, without going into all this X, Y and chromosome stuff and confuse the hell out of all of you, I’ll just skip all that technical stuff and get on with what the bottom line of this story is. Which is that male mice, as if we care, that have two X chromosomes, were about as twice as fast to ejaculate and ejaculated nearly twice as often than those with only one.
This means that you should never leave out copies of your Playboy magazines lying around where any male mice have access to them. Nothing worse than having a really good Playboy ruined by an ejaculating mouse or catch one in the process. Not a pretty sight. Your cat could be traumatized forever.
Not only that, but these perverted male mice mounted females more often and during sex showed more pelvic-thrusting motions. Which also might mean that male mice are in better shape than human males based on the thrusting factor. Either that, or perhaps someone should start researching the effects of cheese with regard to pelvic-thrusting motions.
Now picture this folks. Here’s this guy Paul Bonthuis spending his time at the University of Virginia watching a bunch of mice have sex. Does he not have a freakin’ life or what! Either that or he’s not able to come up with enough cash to go to a really good porno movie. My guess anyhow.
All this, according to the article is to determine the fertility rate with males that have “Klinefelter’s Syndrome” which is a low testosterone level which lowers fertility, (the bad news) but, these same males have sex more often, (the really good news)….like those mice. And may also be addicted to cheese…..or maybe even Cheetos.
I hope I’ve enlightened you today on what scientists and researches are doing to improve our lives. All with the help of those tiny unappreciated mice. They deserve a lot of credit…..the mice I mean.
Personally this has changed my outlook on my thoughts about reincarnation. You know, that when you die you are recycled and come back to earth in another form. I wrote in an earlier blog that I was leaning towards coming back as a seagull so that I could soar high above the earth gracefully and drop a load now and then on various people I disliked in my former life.
After reading this article, I’ve changed my mind. I now want to be a mouse and thoroughly enjoy the benefits of sexual experiences in the laboratory. This of course fits in very well with my Italian heritage as former Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlesconi will attest to.
I now have something to look forward to when I eventually pass on.
Fantastic sex with other mice more than just one time a day thanks to the guys in the lab.
Bless you Paul….um……wanna pass the cheese and just a tiny glass of Chablis. I’m warming up to the female mice I have in my house now just in case I get reincarnated and wind up in that small hole in the wall behind my computer.
Gotta cover all the bases ya know.
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