HEY! If Ya Wnna Be A State Puerto Rico…Speaka Da English!

So sez Rick Santorum to Puerto Ricans with regard to Puerto Rico becoming a state while visiting there in an attempt to secure Puerto Rico’s 23 delegates, whom, I assume, know how to speak English but may have spoken Spanish just to screw around with him.

“Meester Santorum, habla usted espanol idiotio?”

“Oh thanks for the compliment, yes, it sure is nice to be here today.”

Santorum’s logic, which borders on zero these days, is that, “as in any other state, you have to comply with this and any other federal law. And that is that English has to be the MAIN language.”  And, as we all know, up there in Maine, for the most part, they DO speak English.

Um….WAIT…..oh, sorry, I thought he was referring to Maine.  Only because I’ve been there myself and they do tend to speak a different language than the rest of us. He actually meant “main” language, meaning that Puerto Ricans should speak English as their “main” language because it’s, I guess, easier for people like Santorum visiting there to understand.

Like if you go into a Puerto Rican McDonald’s and want to order a Big Mac and you don’t speak Spanish and wind up with a fish filet or something.

“El clerka, no wanta da fishy filet…um…..me order da Bigga Macka……no comprendo?”

“Psst….hey Juan….this guy is a freakin nutcase.”

Santorum went on to say: “There are other states with more than one language, (Maine maybe) as is the case in Hawaii. But to be a state in the U.S. English has to be the main language.”

Hmmmm…..”to be a state in the U.S.?”  Did he mean that to be a state you have to be in the U.S.?  Technically Hawaii, and for that matter, Alaska isn’t actually “IN” the U.S. if you think about their locations. Hawaii is out there in the middle of the Pacific ocean and Alaska might as well be annexed to Russia because, as we all know, it’s verrrry close to Sarah Palins back porch.

“Hey Putin…..it’s me Sarah!  I can see you from my back porch and I’m waving…do ya see me too?”

And Puerto Rico is kinda way out there too.  So I’m not quite sure if Santorum meant that you had to be a state “IN” the U.S. or that you could be a state outside of the continental U.S. as long as you spoke English.

Which could also mean that if England, who as we all know speaks English, wanted to become part of the U.S. they’d be an easy shoo in, because, obviously, as I just said, speak English. And very well I might add. Which I think is where the rest of us learned how to speak English. My guess anyhow.

Except for those people who do rap music and haven’t quite learned how to speak or sing English yet. And probably never will because they apparently have no intention of applying for statehood.

So, once again Mr. Santorum has inserted his foot into his mouth while visiting Puerto Rico by telling them they all have to learn how to speak English if they ever want to gain statehood.  And that English has to be their main language.

I hope that Rick, who is of Italian heritage, does not have New York on his next campaign stop and makes a visit to a pizza place in the “Little Italy” section of that city and discovers that the pizza guys all speak Italian. The next thing ya know he’ll be telling them they can’t sell pizzas in New York unless they learn how to speak English…which, as we all know, should be the official language spoken in all Italian pizza restaurants.

(cue Dean Martin)

OK…Dino….singa da song for Ricardo Santoruma……(below)

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About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
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