Now I never would have known about this breaking story if it were not for a friend of mine who sent me an e-mail containing a story about the state of Virginia and the Governor’s plan to change the name of the state to “Vagina.”
Not really following “vagina” late breaking news, like my friend, because he’s really “into” vagina news, I was completely oblivious when it comes to getting “into” vagina news stories. Now that I’ve read the story, I too can get into vaginas….um….I mean the news story, which I will pass on to you.
It seems that the Governor of Virginia, Bob McDonnell made an announcement last Friday that the name of his state has been officially changed to “vagina” on the heels, (whatever on the heels means) of a new law that requires women seeking abortions receive mandatory abdominal ultrasounds prior to the procedure.
His statement: “The State of Virginia, (or Vagina) cares about your vagina, and that’s why we can proudly say we are now all citizens of “Vagina,” and why I’m so proud to serve as your duly elected Vaginal head.”
Great play on words there Gov. Too bad this wasn’t about a guys lower part of the anatomy. If ya think about the word, “head” used in his comments. Sorry, couldn’t resist that comparison.
The Governor went on to say: “Let the world know that Vagina is a friend to women. Our Vagina is your Vagina.” Oh….how sweet. Kinda fits into Virginia’s motto…..”Virginia,” or in this case, “Vagina” is for lovers.”
Hmmm…..do ya think instead of that heart logo on their license plates they might put a picture of a vagina on it instead. Just a thought.
Already changes are in place to coincide with the state’s name change. The state flag which depicts two warriors inside a circular emblem will be replaced with an image of a colorful, smiling vagina. Cause as we all know, vagina’s, apparently, when you observe them, do smile at you. I suppose this also depends on the angle at which you are observing a vagina.
HEY…I’m getting this stuff from this damn e-mail folks…..cut me some slack here.
Ok…Ok…I’m adding my own thoughts here, but just a few……
According to this article, which was written by “theskunk.org,” the state’s tourism department is also warming up to vaginas…..um….sorry….warming up to the name change by rethinking its marketing campaigns on billboards all over the state. “Come to historic Vagina. Hike our trails, explore our parks, get an ultrasound.”
Geez….makes me wanna visit Vagina this summer. Sounds like a nice warm and cozy place. Gives me kind of a fuzzy feeling.
“theskunk.org” also says that West (by God) Virginia officials are also considering a name change of their own. The Governor of that state said: “There can only be one Vagina so I think we’re going to go with either, “South Pennsylvania” or “East Ohio.”
Now I have no freakin’ idea what the hell he meant by that other than he doesn’t want to confuse Virginia’s vagina name change with that of West Virginia’s similarity to vagina in their state’s name so he most likely means that changing the state’s name to South Pennsylvania or East Ohio would clearly send a message to any visitors looking for the original vagina wouldn’t be confused by Virginia’s vagina and West Virginia’s resemblance to a vagina in their state’s name. Seems logical to me.
Again, according to “theskunk.org,” a new commercial featuring Governor McDonnell will begin airing next week. “Vagina is wide-open. We invite everyone to come and explore our wonderful Vagina.”
So folks, after reading all this you obviously know that “theskunk.org” was obviously jesting in light of the mandatory abdominal ultrasound law that’s been in the news. And, making a point at the same time. But…ya gotta admit, changing the state’s name to Vagina does have some advantages. Just the catchy slogans in their advertising might be enough to attract visitors to the state.
Frankly I think, because Pennsylvania is so close to both Virginia and West Virginia, that they too should take advantage of all this ultrasound stuff lest they lose out on tourism dollars.
Pennsylvania has a town named, “Intercourse,” and as we all know, what better way to cash in on the Virginia/Vagina tourism promotion than to link Intercourse, Pennsylvania with Vagina. Seems like a perfect “fit” to me.
Ya know, I really could get into this vagina/intercourse thing today but I think I’d better quit while I’m ahead and leave theskunk.org to get “into” things.
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