At first I was all excited about this new procedure that pregnant women would have to undergo prior to having an abortion. I thought that a Transvanginal Invasive Ultrasound Procedure was something the doctor gave you while you were in the waiting room and it involved plugging in your iPod to their iPod system and getting some really great tunes in ultra transvaginal stereo. I was actually a bit envious of women having this opportunity to try out this new stereo system, until…..until….I happened to watch the Daily Show with Jon Stewart on Comedy Central and, much to my horror, discovered that it had nothing to do with iPods and stereos.
First, Jon with his explanation…(video)
OMG!!! OMG!!! Did you watch that? Transvaginal Invasive Ultrasound procedure is NOT a stereo system you can plug your iPod while you’re in a doctor’s office waiting room. Its……its…..OMG!…..its a big thingy that a doctor sticks up a woman’s vagina to determine whatever is it they want to determine. (actually I know what it is they want to determine but I really don’t wanna get into explaining what it is they’re trying to determine because I’ll just leave it all up to you to determine that) I get kinda queasy writing about stuff that’s inserted into ANY part of anyones body.
In Virginia, the Governor, Bob McDonnell (R) has backed off signing the bill which would require all women seeking an abortion to undergo the procedure. For now at least. There were protests regarding this bill with some carrying signs that read, ” Private Property, Keep Out,” with regard to a woman’s private parts. Which, as we have all witnessed, is usually decided by men and not women when it comes to enacting laws concerning women’s private parts.
Which is most likely why women always give men a hard time when it comes to accessing their private parts.
(Women might be thinking) HEY Bozo’s….if you’re gonna make laws about inserting strange things into my private parts then I’m gonna keep them private…..so not tonight you jerk…..the only transvaginal thing you’re gonna get into tonight is your CD with the Trans-Siberian Orchestra….stick THAT into your invasive CD player. A much nicer procedure I might add.
While some of you may or may not support any type of abortion for women under any circumstances (Rick Santorum for one) I personally think it is not up to a group of legislative MEN and religious leaders to make that determination. If they personally want to buy tickets to see the Trans-Siberian Orchestra play in concert, hey….that’s fine with me….don’t need a woman’s consent for that one.
AND….I’ve never seen anyone, including a member of the Trans-Siberian Orchestra insert ANY invasive device into any one of their instruments. At least not on stage. What they do backstage is their own business….just as it is a woman’s decision to object to ANYTHING that’s going to be inserted anywhere in her body at HER OWN CHOICE, and not that of a bunch of panty waists in the Virginia state house.
I personally learned a very long time ago, by my various experiences visiting doctors offices, that if there is any hole in your body, somewhere in that doctor’s office there is an instrument that will be at any given time inserted into that hole. And if there isn’t a hole, they’ll sure as hell make one. Trust me on that one folks.
As it is now, the government is getting into our lives each and every day with all kinds of legislation proposed by Congress because they have nothing better to do than think of things to do to keep themselves occupied. Leave MY body and WOMEN’S bodies out of this.
If you’re gonna want to insert something into MY body…… one, it damn well better feel good, and I’d better get a good night out at a really good restaurant for it, or, I’m gonna whip out my taser and zap your ass……..or stick something up the nearest hole I can find in your body…..and it ain’t gonna feel verrrry good.
Yes Virginia………..not only is there a Santa Claus, but a Governor in Virginia who’s gonna get coal in his stocking next Christmas. Perhaps some KY Jelly for his own personal holes.
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