Flashlights Stop Prostitution…Charge Your Batteries Folks

HARK!  A new weapon in the constant battle of evil vs good….evil being prostitution, I guess, according to residents of Anaheim, California who have discovered a new weapon against prostitution….fleshlights….oops….I meant flashlights…..sorry.

And we all know that prostitution is evil…..isn’t it?

NO....this is NOT the Hooker we're talkin' about.

Hmmmm.lets see. (checking)

OH…goody….a breakdown of what countries have legal prostitution Here it is below:

100 Countries and Their Prostitution Policies

This page details 100 countries’ policies on prostitution, brothel ownership, and pimping. These countries were chosen in order to be inclusive of major religions, geographical regions, and policies towards prostitution. Taiwan and Scotland were included in the country listings for China and the United Kingdom, respectively, in accordance with the country listings and population estimates provided in the Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) World Factbook.

Whenever possible, we have included government documents regarding prostitution such as laws, court decisions, employment information, etc. under the name of the country. While reasonable efforts have been made to assure the accuracy of the data provided, do not rely on this information without first checking an official edition of the applicable law. This page was last updated Nov. 4, 2009.

Number and Precentage of Countries with Legal, Illegal, and Limited Legal Prostitution Population of Countries with Legal, Illegal, and Limited Legal Prostitution
Legal in 50 (50%); Limited Legality in 11 (11%); Illegal in 39 (39%); Total: 100 (100%)
  1. Afghanistan
  2. Albania
  3. Angola
  4. Antigua and Barbuda
  5. Argentina
  6. Armenia
  7. Australia
  8. Austria
  9. Bahamas
  10. Bangladesh
  11. Barbados
  12. Belgium
  13. Belize
  14. Bolivia
  15. Brazil
  16. Bulgaria
  17. Cambodia
  18. Canada
  19. Chile
  20. China (including Taiwan)
  21. Colombia
  22. Costa Rica
  23. Croatia
  24. Cuba
  25. Cyprus
  1. Czech Republic
  2. Denmark
  3. Dominica
  4. Dominican Republic
  5. Ecuador
  6. Egypt
  7. El Salvador
  8. Estonia
  9. Ethiopia
  10. Finland
  11. France
  12. Germany
  13. Greece
  14. Grenada
  15. Guatemala
  16. Guyana
  17. Haiti
  18. Honduras
  19. Hungary
  20. Iceland
  21. India
  22. Indonesia
  23. Iran
  24. Iraq
  25. Ireland
  1. Israel
  2. Italy
  3. Jamaica
  4. Japan
  5. Jordan
  6. Kenya
  7. Korea, North
  8. Korea, South
  9. Kyrgyzstan
  10. Latvia
  11. Liberia
  12. Lithuania
  13. Luxembourg
  14. Malaysia
  15. Malta
  16. Mexico
  17. Netherlands
  18. New Zealand
  19. Nicaragua
  20. Norway
  21. Panama
  22. Paraguay
  23. Peru
  24. Philippines
  25. Poland
  1. Portugal
  2. Romania
  3. Rwanda
  4. Saint Kitts and Nevis
  5. Saint Lucia
  6. Saint Vincent and Grenadines
  7. Saudi Arabia
  8. Senegal
  9. Singapore
  10. Slovakia
  11. Slovenia
  12. South Africa
  13. Spain
  14. Suriname
  15. Sweden
  16. Switzerland
  17. Thailand
  18. Trinidad and Tobago
  19. Turkey
  20. Uganda
  21. United Arab Emirates
  22. United Kingdom (including Scotland)
  23. United States
  24. Uruguay
  25. Venezuela

See, this handy-dandy chart explains it all.  (wonder why the CIA spent some time compiling this list. Unless they employ hookers as spies, which, I guess could actually fall into the category of “undercover work”)

Also, if the chart color is off, because it might only show light blue and dark blue in the country listings, the ones in light blue are the countries that prostitution is legal. As you can see, there are a lot of countries where it is legal, so flashlight sales are way down.

THESE are the kind of hookers we're talkin' about

Anyhow, back to Anaheim where hookers are running rampant……and flashlight sales are skyrocketing.

This all started when residents of Anaheim went on a mission to rid their neighborhood of street-walkers. No, not the regular kind of street-walkers, like ice cream vendors, who don’t usually walk the streets, and like hot dog vendors or  Girl Scouts selling cookies. No….the street-walkers we’re talking about are the hooker type of street-walkers, although, many of them do walk on sidewalks so as not to be run over by an ice cream truck or something.

It seems that residents of one neighborhood in Anaheim have banded together to thwart, (love that word) prostitution by roaming the streets at night wielding bigggg (my guess) flashlights which, I guess, they shine on prostitutes who may be prostituting on their streets, or bushes, or wherever it is roaming prostitutes prostitute at night.

Now I’m not quite sure how these flashlight scare off those prostitutes.  Didn’t say in the news item.  I suppose if a prostitute were doing what prostitutes do, which is, as I already said, prostituting, and a resident came up and shined a flashlight on them, the so said prostitute would become frightened and run off. Kinda like a vampire fears anyone wielding a clove of garlic.

I’m just assuming that prostitutes fear the light. Otherwise why would brave residents have no fear when going out at night to scare them off.  I’m also assuming that during the daylight hours prostitutes are very hard to spot as they dress in normal clothing. Because we all know that most prostitutes wear tons of ungodly makeup at night with super red lipstick, have long curling eyelashes, wear stiletto heels, usually black or red, short mini skirts and fish net stockings.  Yep, verrrry hard to spot a hooker during the daytime.

The LAPD is also assisting residents in their nighttime quest to round-up, or at least scare off prostitutes.  Most likely because they too carry big flashlights, which, again, as we all know, scares the bejesus out of prostitutes.

One local resident said that the reason they started walking the streets at night wasn’t because they wanted to make some extra bucks too, but because, “we’re tired of the hookers; we’re tired of the riffraff.”  she also added that they were tired of finding condoms in the street.  Which means two things. Hookers are having sex in the street and that one resident is vererry tired. My guess anyhow.

In conclusion, I personally think prostitution should be legal. I’m sure the state of Nevada gets a cut from prostitution sales.  Or tricks.  (tricks….prostitution slang for the number of magical things they do…..I think….no rabbits in hats involved)

So, this leaves two options for hookers attempting to make a living in Anaheim. Pack it up and move to Nevada and be completely free from anyone shining a flashlight on you while you’re attempting to do your prostituting………..or………………..

Give up prostituting completely, but still be able to remain on the streets of Anaheim by investing in their own ice cream drive-by business or hot dog stand, with some additional perks….or…….dress up as Girl Scouts.

The neighbors would never expect that.

Besides, if it’s a slow night….you can always make a few bucks selling thin mints and peanut butter patties.

(DONATE)  The MisfitWisdom PayPal donate link is posted below. If it is not highlighted, (blue for residents, red for hookers) just copy and paste the link into your brothel,….um….I mean browser and it will take you to the PayPal site.  Should you encounter anyone with a damn flashlight, just lay low, and they’ll move on. However, if you buy some Girl Scout cookies MisfitWisdom cannot be held responsible for anything else that happens.


Copyright 2012 MisfitWisdom RLV

Header: chickart@cox,net

About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
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