The Newt Says, “Hey, I Can Get You Gas For $2.50 A Gallon.”

But he didn’t say what planet he obviously would be living on to get that $2.50 a gallon price.

Now look folks. I’m no freakin’ dummy. I did not fall off of the avocado boat yesterday.  It was some time ago and I’ve since recovered. Are you really gonna buy his promise?  If you do, then better not hitch a ride on a damn avocado boat.  You could be the next one to fall off.

This is the way I look at Newt’s claim.

The same very freakin’ way I look at my possibilities of scoring with Lady Ga Ga…….Zilch!

What damn oil company in their right mind is going to lower gas prices to $2.50 a gallon? Maybe an olive oil company in Italy. Maybe even canola oil. Maybe Wesson oil. But oil, oil! Nope. Even Popeye’s Olive Oyl wouldn’t buy into that claim.

Shiver me timbers Olive. Ohhhhhhh Popeye you devil.... NEWT! NEWT!...Look....Popeye promised me his undying love! Can I do it now?

So what the hell was Newt thinkin’? I’ll tell ya what…he was thinking. If I casually mention that during one of my speeches, all of those sucker voters might buy into it and I’ll get the Republican Presidential nomination. Which I think can be classified as an “insert foot in mouth moment.” Which is very hard for Newt to do considering he has much difficulty just bending over to tie his shoes.

Now I understand that politicians will do or say anything to get elected.  Because once they’re elected, all those promises don’t matter.  Let me see if I can put this into a better perspective for all of you.

Ah yes….remember the “Meatloaf” song, “Paradise By The Dashboard Light.”  If ya don’t, the link to it is below.

"Meatloaf"...............The Album

(might want to listen to the song before you read on)

Anyhow, in the song Meatloaf, (the guy and not a slice of actual meatloaf) is in the back seat of his car trying to score with a hot chick and all he can think of is sex, sex, sex, and obviously letting ol woody loose.  Meanwhile, the babe is thinking to herself, “hmmmm, if I’m gonna go all the way, this bozo better love me.”

Soooooo, they go back and forth.

Babe: “Do ya love me?”

Meatloaf: “Let me sleep on it, we’ll talk about it in the morning.”

Babe: “But do ya love me?”

Meatloaf: “Let me sleep on it, we’ll talk about it in the morning.”

Meanwhile, back at the crotch….the hormones are flowing and ol woody is begging to be released into that vast wilderness.

So, after much begging back and forth Meatloaf finally promises her that he will love her “till the end of time,” woody gets his way, and the wilderness is never the same…..because it has been “woodyized,” or, as we say in the forest of love, “explored” by ol woody.

Of course, at the end of the song Meatloaf winds up praying for “the end of time” to come.

"Meatloaf"......The singer.

So, with that parable, as you think of Newt’s promises, keep in mind the moral of this story.

If you’re gonna get F**KED better make sure you’re ready to pay the price “till the end of time.”

You might also want to keep in mind that ol Newt has dumped two wives..soooooooooo……”broken promises.”

How believable is his $2.50 a gallon gas “promise?”

About as believable as the morning after he’s elected and is hoping that the Mayan’s were right and the world comes to an end on 12/21/2012……….”the end of time”

Geez….I love a great Meatloaf sandwich,…….oh yeah….and Meatloaf the singer too.

Actual meatloaf

(DONATE) The MisfitWisdom PayPal donate link is posted below. If it is not highlighted, (blue) copy and paste it into your sandwich….um….no, I meant browser. OK….OK…if ya donate I promise I’ll love you till the end of time…….honest.

Copyright 2012 MisfitWisdom RLV


About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on and Kindle
This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to The Newt Says, “Hey, I Can Get You Gas For $2.50 A Gallon.”

  1. Dan says:

    Gas was $1.51 a gallon when Obama took office. Enough of Obama’s policies could be reversed to bring gas down to $2.50.

    • misfit120 says:

      For those of you who would like to verify Dan’s claim go to “ which documents gas prices for 2008. I checked myself, and in January 08 the average price of gas was $3.05 and by April it was up to $3.50. Or, do your own research and simply key in, “What were gas prices at in 2008. But, that said, as we all know, EVERYTHING is Obama’s fault. Wars too I think.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s