I frankly don’t see any difference in what I do here each and every day than that of a church. I mean, they preach, so do I. They scare the bejesus outta you with those fiery sermons about going to hell and getting all burnt up to smithereens. Geez, I do that by constantly reminding you of the impending end of the world on 12/21/2012. Most heads of the church wear black outfits or some very colorful ones, and I certainly do that on occasion….especially during Halloween. AND…..I constantly beg for donations to this blog.
UM….I don’t get any…BUT…..that should still count because I try. Maybe I should ask for “alms” instead.
AND…I Do tend to voice my opinion on everything, including politics, even though deep in my little ol heart I know that politicians are gonna do whatever the heck they want, so, even though I vote, I know that power and money, in the end, decides who gets elected.
But, if you’ve paid very close attention to this years political climate, which, unlike the weather, is always hot and steamy, you’ll notice that religion has been interjected into politics more so than ever before. At least every candidate has inserted the name of God into a campaign speech at one time or another.
And, as we all know, churches are exempt, for the most part, from paying taxes. So why is it that if they are exempt from paying taxes that they can attempt to influence a campaign or that candidates feel they have to invoke the name of God…..or Ronald Reagan. (he wasn’t necessarily God but most Republicans see him as a God.) I think his movies were ok but he didn’t look very Godly in a robe. A cowboy hat maybe, but not a robe.
So, I said to myself, “Misfit, if churches are exempt from paying taxes and they can get involved in politics, why can’t I get that same sort of exemption too?” Can’t I just call myself a church or something? Do I need to have a huge spire on top of my house and some stained glass windows? Is driving a red pickup truck ok or do I have to drive a black Buick or Cadillac? And those big hats some preachers wear, (excluding Harold Camping) can’t I just wear a baseball cap with perhaps the St. Louis Cardinals or San Diego Padres insignia on it.
It just seems to me that if you’re a candidate for the office of the President of the United States and you’re going to invoke the name of God into all of your campaign speeches and say stuff like, “God told me to run,” or “God gave me this primary victory,” or “Thank God for all the super pac donations I’m getting,” that maybe God’s staff, whose offices and headquarters are located in various denomination churches, should belly up and start paying taxes.
HEY! If you’re gonna push your influence with what the heck goes on in a political campaign, shouldn’t you at least be a taxpayer? Look at it this way….every time a candidate mentions the name of God in one of their speeches, God of course gets all kinds of publicity, which, increases His popularity, which, increases the sales of God items like T-Shirts, medals, statues, candles, along with higher donations in the Alms basket. Not to mention the increase in sales of Alm baskets. Oh yeah….incense too.
So, if the dough comes rolling in and the church is making a huge profit, which I’m sure they then invest some of that profit into other things to make more profit, shouldn’t they then be taxed? If not….why then can’t I be a church?
“The MisfitWisdom Church of the Blasphemous Word”
Frankly the word “blasphemous” just doesn’t get used enough in the English language these days. So, my church would do its part to spread blasphemous stuff all over the place for those people who like to use the word “blasphemous” and perhaps sneak into political campaigns and spread blasphemous blasphemy by bringing bulls**t baloney before bulging crowds of baloney eating ballerinas. (I’m sure there must be some ballerinas that attend political rallies based on the number of people I often see standing on their tippy toes in a huge crowd at a political rally)
Therefore, with my blasphemous ranting, (and perhaps a logo of a mouse, as it fits with “mous” in “BlaspheMOUS” I could then qualify as a legitimate church….and….be tax exempt. How simple it THAT!
I’m going to hell aren’t I…….(sigh)
(DONATE) The MisfitWisdom PayPal Church of The Greater Donation Diocese link is posted below my children. If it is not highlighted, (blue or with a halo) simply copy and paste the link into your browser and it will miraculously take you to the PayPal site where you can observe the Alms basket in all of its glory and perhaps donate to my cause. Amen.
Copyright 2012 MisfitWisdom RLV