When It’s A Quiet News Day….I Begin To Panic

Yep….today is one of those rare days when nothing is going on.  Which seriously sends me into a state of panic.  It’s just not normal for nothing stupid to be going on. Something’s wrong. Trust me here, someone is planning something stupid or is going to say something stupid before the day is over….yet, I can’t seem to find out what that is.

It’s very disheartening for a blog writer to face a situation like this.  I tried very hard to find something…..anything!  Where the hell are all the stupid people?

I even looked at what Sarah Palin was up to in the hope that maybe, just maybe, she might have said something stupid.  Other than the fact that she’s been back out on the road riding in her bus and refusing to endorse a candidate. There’s nothing stupid going on there.  Other than the fact that she’s back out there and riding in her bus.  I don’t get it.

I even searched for stuff on Donald Trump today and there was nothing. WTF! The Newt….nothing!   Mitso….nothing!  Santorum….nothing!  Ron Paul….nothing!  Then again, for the most part, the media really doesn’t acknowledge Ron Paul, so nothing is kinda normal when it comes to finding things to write about Ron Paul, other than the fact that he has two first names.

One of the stories in the news today was about some Nigerian guy who’s going on trial for sticking a bomb in his underwear.  But even that’s old news.  Every terrorist I’ve read about recently has tried sticking a bomb in their underwear, so apparently most of these terrorists can’t come up with something more creative than sticking a few sticks of dynamite in their crotch while wearing their Fruit of the Booms.

Gawd I hate these slow news days.

Ya wanna know how bad it really is folks. Look at these headlines.

“The Worlds Hottest Pepper, The Trinidad Morga Scorpion.”  Like we should give a rats ass about the worlds hottest pepper!  This is NEWS?   Geez! How about a terrorist sticking a hot pepper in his underwear for cripes sake. NOW THAT’S NEWS!

Or, “Stress Is Good.”  WHAT!  Stress is good. Who the hell in their right mind is writing a piece about how good stress is for us. It’s stressing me out reading about how stress is supposed to be good for me. I’m now totally stressed out reading that. WTF!

Ok, I’m stressed and I can see that Republicans are stressed too because Obama’s approval rating is rising. OMG!!!  His approval rating is rising. OMG!! OMG!!  Which is kinda good for Republicans because if they read that article about being stressed out then they won’t have to worry about being stressed out over those ratings because, according to that article, stress is good for you.  And….for the pharmaceutical companies too.

Lots of money to be made from tranquilizer sales ya know.

Here’s another hot flash for ya in the news today.

“How To Order Mexican Food.”   NOW I’m REALLY stressed out. Some guy gets paid to write an article and post it on the Internet about how to order Mexican food!  WTF! Ya get in your car, drive to a damn Taco Bell or some other Mexican restaurant, walk in, look at the freakin’ menu, and ORDER!!!  What’s so hard about that! AND….ya don’t even have to speak Mexican!

Here’s yet another news flash.  “Lead Found In Lipstick.” SO WHAT!  Statistics show that men die off earlier than women. AND THEY DON’T WEAR LIPSTICK! So what’s the big deal.  If the lead in lipstick all of a sudden is a big issue then why in the hell are women outliving men?  Obviously the lead in lipstick isn’t causing women any problems. I don’t hear any cases of women’s lips falling off. My other half always wears lipstick and her lips look fine to me. She doesn’t even have any problem talking, um, unless she’s had a few drinks, but, I don’t think lipstick is to blame.

Then again, lead in lipstick could cause stupidity

Here’s one more for ya. “Dolphins Wash Up On Cape Cod.”  SO WHAT! I wash up in my bathroom and ya don’t see headlines about that!  Um….wait a second. Oh, sorry, read that wrong.  Apparently dolphins are washing up on the shore when they should actually be washing up somewhere else, like out in the ocean or somewhere.

(reading article on dolphins)

Oh….I get it now. These dolphins are beaching themselves on the shores of Cape Cod and they shouldn’t be doing that because the beach is closed in the Winter.  Besides that fact, the people who watch dolphins, dolphin observers I guess, are concerned about the welfare of these dolphins and want to know why they’re washing up on the beach. Maybe they’re Miami Dolphins and just wanted to experience what it’s like to visit Cape Cod in the off-season.  Beats me.

(sigh)

So ya see, there’s absolutely nothing earth shattering worth writing about today. So, I’m taking the day off and I’m not even going to attempt to write a blog.  It’s just useless. Perhaps tomorrow someone will step forward and make my day.  (Shades of Clint Eastwood)

I know what yer thinkin’…….he just wrote a blog and does he have anymore blog left…..is that what yer thinkin’……is it punk?

I do…….but it’s your lucky day………ya have to wait till tomorrow….PUNK!

WAIT! WAIT! WAIT! Just as I finished writing this the Tampa Bay Rays came through for me…….here it is folks.

(DONATE) The MisfitWisdom PayPal donate link is posted below. If it is not highlighted (blue) copy and paste it into your browser and it will take you to the PayPal site. However, I can truly understand if you do not donate today as I actually did not write a blog. Because there was nothing to write about. So why make a donation for nothing. Unless you feel compelled to donate, in which case, it would be greatly appreciated.

https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=RVEL6DUS3EAZS

Copyright 2012 MisfitWisdom RLV

Header: chickart@cox.net

About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
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