Sooooo, Ya Wanna Be A Writer. Me Too. But First…………………..

For me, writing seems to come somewhat easy. I believe my talent for writing a blog each and every day stems from my childhood when I was heavily into graffiti writing, mostly in junior and high school restrooms.  Which no one ever paid any attention to, except the janitor and principal.  However, I did not receive any awards or notoriety for my efforts. Unless you count the hours of recognition I spent in detention class.

Cartoon thnx: Dave Coverly

But today, I’m here, in front of my ol broken down on its last leg computer to give you some tips on how to write a daily blog.  I’m doing this because I have a friend who just moved into a new apartment, is a very good writer, but basically needs a kick in the butt to get motivated to write. This also goes for anyone out there in cyberlant, (as Lawrence Welk used to pronounce it) who needs a swift kick in the butt.

I personally do not need any butt kicking of any sort. It just happens. And I thank all of you who read this stuff each and every day.  I’m just asking that you either donate or, because you’re dirt broke like myself, forward my blog link to your friends or enemies.

First of all, if you want to start your own blog, you have to think out of the box. Especially if you intend to write comedy.  Otherwise, just stay in the box and write what you’re  knowledgable about.  Say like you’ve been married six times and have much knowledge about the various ways you screwed up and your experiences in avoiding getting murdered by your wives.

Now, a word of caution here, from my own experience.  If you’re a woman who wants to write a blog, you’ll have no problem finding the time or solitude essentially needed to concentrate and write a really good blog.  Your husband, boyfriend, or whatever, will for the most part leave you alone and do their own thing. Children can be a distraction, but you can either gag the SOB’s or write when they’re in school or out playing in traffic.

Men on the other hand will have a more difficult time writing. As in my case. My other half is constantly walking in and out of the room with nonsensical stuff like, “So, what ya writin’.”  Or, “Honeeee, the cat just barfed!”  Or, “Mufff gnork smorkr fernd beasite!” At which time, because she’s talking to me from the kitchen and I’m in the computer room I scream out, “WHAT!”  Which usually turns out to be something totally unimportant but requires me to get up, go to the kitchen, and upon saying to her, “WHAT!”…..her reply is, “Oh nothing, I was just talking to myself.”

Many of the motives for murder that they attempt to solve on CSI can be attributed to men writing in their office and women interrupting them. This is a fact.

Now, most of my ideas for writing comedy comes from news stories, the Internet, and life in general.  For instance, look at this newspaper headline. (pictured)

A normal person thinks the Queen has ruled for a long time. Someone not normal, such as myself, thinks the Queen spends waaaay too much time in the royal bathroom.

You can really get a lot of material just reading magazines or scouring the web. Or reading a dumb headline in a newspaper that can be taken both ways…..depending on your frame of mind, and if your mind borders on insanity.

Most of what my brain absorbs comes from those sources, along with an occasional moment of insanity from my other half such as the time she wore her slippers to a department store instead of shoes and at some point while exiting the store called me “stupid” for something or other and I turned to her and said, “Hey I’m NOT the one wearing slippers.” Further proof that there is a God and he’s a male.

You can also get extreme solitude, most of the time, in the bathroom.  This is by far the most secure place to come up with creative writing ideas.  Not only because of the number of magazines I personally keep in my bathroom, but I know for the most part I’m not going to be interrupted.  Which is why I think libraries should have nothing but reading bathrooms instead of tables where you can sit down and read a good book. I call it the concentration factor.

If you’re going to write a book, write about something you’re good at, or, if it’s a work of fiction, write about marriage……we who have been married and divorced know all that stuff is pure fiction. Especially the “happily ever after part.”  Writing a good mystery novel can be fun too. Especially if you tend to daydream a lot. You make up your own characters, put them in exciting situations, and can either kill them off when you feel like it, or carry them over to your next book. Much satisfaction can come from creating a character patterned after your spouse and then killing them off.

Now here’s the great part about writing.  The satisfaction of seeing your name in print either in a book, blog, or on a wall in a restroom at a Wal-Mart or Target store.  HEY!  That’s how I started. Don’t knock it!

Actually one of the best parts about writing is a program that Amazon Kindle has. Write whatever the heck you want to write, do your editing, design a cover on your computer, submit it to Kindle, which has a very user-friendly site to post your book, and the best part……..it’s FREE!  Yes….I said FREE!   Such a deal folks.

You thereby see your work posted on Amazon’s Kindle and you are officially an author. Holy Batman Robin, ya can’t get a better deal than that in Gotham City.

That’s the really good news.  And I’d be happy to advise anyone who wants to do that. For a fee of $500 dollars. Nah, I’m only kidding on that one. My advice is free too because no one ever asks my advice, so I figured I’d give it away for nothing. Come to think of it, my other half never asks my advice either.

I could go on and on about the pleasures of writing, especially comedy writing, but this blog already is approaching 1,000 words, and to me, that’s worthy of another book. Which I’m not considering right now. Because the four books I’ve already written aren’t selling, which doesn’t bother me because, as I said, I can officially call myself an author, and because, other than my first book, they were all published for FREE!

That’s the good news……

The bad news………………

I’m back to writing on restroom walls in Wal-Mart and Target stores just so I can get some immediate attention.

Like I said.....old habits are very hard to break.

(DONATE) The MisfitWisdom PayPal link is posted below. If it is not highlighted (blue) copy and paste it into your browser and it will take you to the PayPal site where you can also scribble on their walls while making a donation. They have some pretty neat rest rooms too with a dollar sign motiff.

https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=TAAQP2X3JXEMQ

Copyright 2012 MisfitWisdom RLV

Header: chickart@cox.net

About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s