Well, that sure enough explains a lot of things. Like why Fran’s voice is the way it is. Kinda like listening to someone scratch their fingernails down a blackboard.
Yep…that explains everything. But, voice aside, there seems to be nothing else that would indicate that Fran’s claims that she was once abducted by aliens might be true. However, she’s very attractive and of course talented as well. So maybe the aliens just scared the bejesus out of her, she lost her original voice, and then they let her go when they realized whenever she spoke her voice shattered the windows in their spacecraft. My guess anyhow.
Nee-nee-na-na-na-na-nu-nu. (secret message to Robin Williams who was also abducted and was originally from the planet Ork)
Fran claims that back when she was a child attending junior high school along with her former husband Peter Marc Jacobson, who has a normal voice……. I think…….anyhow she said they were abducted by aliens and have the scars to prove it. AND….that the scars are from chips implanted in their bodies so that she and Peter would be brought together later in life.
Which obviously means to any schooled scholar on alienism (my word) is that aliens sole purpose is to run matchmaking services that link up people when they are children so that they will meet later on in life, get married, and then get divorced. An obvious cruel and sinister plan by aliens to destroy our planet. OR…maybe proof positive that aliens are attorneys who specialize in divorce cases.
Having been through two divorces myself I can just about attest to that fact.
Now here’s the strange part, if we are to believe that Fran is correct, or just smoking some really great stuff. Her ex-husband says that Fran must be sniffing some alien dust or something because the scar that she has on her, (didn’t day where it was on her) was actually from a drill bit or the result of Fran burning herself with a hot cup of water.
BUT…..that doesn’t hold much hot water, (his story and not the cup) that the scar came from that or the drill bit because most people drink hot water usually with a tea bag in it and while they are dressed, so how would you get a scar? AND….I’m sure Fran, if she were drilling something, would be totally dressed as well. UNLESS, she likes drinking hot tea and drilling stuff when she’s naked. OR….her story IS true and while those aliens were exploring her body and implanting chips, THEY spilled hot tea water on her thereby becoming distracted and dropped their drill and caused the scar.
Most aliens, as we all know, aren’t very good with tools because they only have two or three fingers on their hands. So, one of them could very well have dropped a drill bit onto Fran’s body.
Peter on the other hand never mentioned if he had the same such scar on his body. Which I think needs further investigating by a reliable source, like Fox News for instance…..or at least a Congressional committee, or The Discovery Channel.
Now I’m not going to go out on a limb, mainly because I’m terrified of heights, but I’m not going to say that Fran’s story may be a bit off the wall. I’ll leave that up to the “Huffington Post” people who posted on their website a “Psychometer” graph that placed her story at, “approaching insanity.” Which isn’t too bad considering on that same graph they rated Newt Gingrich’s moon base idea. “batshit insane.” GO NEWT!!!
Huffington Post's "Psychometer"
Finally, when asked about the fact that her ex husband doesn’t buy into her alien abduction story hasn’t phased Fran at all. Her explanation for doubters, including her ex, who find her story hard to believe is that, “that’s what aliens programmed us to think.”
So if all this is true and aliens actually abduct us, take us to their spaceships, and then implant chips into our bodies while drinking hot tea and using a drill, maybe we should all be checking our bodies to see if we have similar scars such as Frans’.
(checking my body)…….Hmmmmmm. (checking my other half’s body)…..Hmmmmmm.
OMG!!! We both have scars on our bodies!!! WE WERE ABDUCTED BY ALIENS!!! WE WERE ABDUCTED BY ALIENS!!!
Um wait a minute here. On further examination, my scar is from an old hernia operation and my other half’s is from one of those woman type operations from many years ago. RATS!! I guess we both weren’t abducted by aliens like Fran was. (sigh)
UNLESS…..aliens are also into hernia and hysterectomy surgeries.
I’m really gonna take a very close look at my doctor the next time I have an appointment. If he so much as offers me a cup of tea or is fiddling with any type of drill….I’m outta there.
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Chief....did you say Lindsay Lohan?
"Hello Mork....yeah listen up, while you're down there on Earth scoop up Lindsay Lohan, bring her back and we'll take that chip outta her. Obviously it's defective.
MisfitWisdom 