My patience is really on the breaking point with these companies. It’s called, “The Nickel and Dime Syndrome.” Or, as I like to call it simply, “DUH.”
(Pay extreme attention here Verizon)
DUH, because these companies still don’t have a freakin’ clue as to what the hell is going on in this country. Namely, we’re being nickeled and dimed to death by idiots who sit back in their giant board rooms drinking a Starbucks coffee trying to figure out how to get that nickel and dime out of us consumers.
“Hey Ralph, I got this great idea. It’ll raise our revenues by gazillions of dollars. All we have to do is charge people two bucks to pay their phone bills on-line. How great is that!”
“Wait a second Harry. You actually think that people are gonna pay two bucks to pay their phone bills on-line?”
“Um…well maybe not all of them, but surely they’ll be some jerks who’ll think it’s a great deal. Hell, Bank of America tried it by wanting to charge their customers to use their debit cards when they made purchases.”
“Er, Harry, um, Bank of America had to rescind that plan due to a consumer uprising.”
“Yeah I know that…..but you know how people think that banks are a bunch of money-grubbing slime ball slug dregs of the earth a**wipes.”
“Yeah, so what does that have to do with us getting them to accept that two buck charge without them getting all bent outta shape.”
“Geez….you don’t get it. We’re the PHONE company and everybody loves the phone company Ralph. The PHONE company for gawds sake. The company that provides people with connections to all of their friends. The PHONE company that allows anyone to dial-up those phone sex lines. The PHONE company that keeps people in touch with one another….you know, reach out and touch someone. They love us Ralph.”
“Sooooo, you don’t think they’ll all get up in arms and go viral in the Internet if we tell them we’re gonna charge them two bucks to pay their bill on-line?”
“Nah,…….never happen. Trust me on this one. We’re not Bank of America ya know.”
Oops…….break out the viral pills folks.
Ya see, it’s this way. The trend here is to stick it to consumers with these Mickey Mouse fees and hope that all of us just accept it. (my apologies to Mickey Mouse) BUT….corporations and huge companies….guess what?
Consumers are mad as hell and aren’t gonna take it anymore. In a more subtle explanation……GFY. (which in a subtle explanation means go have intercourse with yourselves) Something many of these corporate executives obviously know how to do if they simply recall their childhood years locked in their bathroom with a copy of some seedy magazine.
What these people who come up with these ideas do not comprehend is that in today’s world there is a wonderful device called “The Internet” where lowly consumers can, without ever leaving the comfort of their homes, go stinkin’ viral against a company. Which is what people did when Verizon announced that fee of two dollars and Bank of America wanted to charge debit card users.
Clue to Verizon. Which is the same clue that Bank of America got. Which is: (AHEM) THERE ARE OTHER PHONE COMPANIES AND BANKS OUT THERE BESIDES YOU DUMB IDIOTS!
Didn’t mean to shout there folks, but sometimes ya have to make a point by turning up the octaves a bit.
Now by no means does this mean that another company or corporation is not going to attempt to stick it to us slugs. It will invariably happen. Which is why there is an “Occupy Wall Street” or any other occupy street, road or lane movement. Quite simply…..people are just not going to take it anymore.
I apologize for getting all bent out of shape today folks, but I felt someone had to write something about getting nickeled and dimed to death. Actually, I was off on the wrong foot this morning when I learned that Saturday was the last day I could buy a regular light bulb because the government says I have to buy those new squiggly ones.
BUT…..I didn’t go viral on the Internet because I’m switching to all candles in my house, with a few nice torches that hang from my ceiling in the living room, along with reverting to paying all my bills with cash, that is, if they accept actual cash, and investing in a carrier pigeon franchise so that I can disconnect my telephone just in case they come up with new ways to nickel and dime me.
It’s either I take those drastic measures or move to Pennsylvania and join an Amish community. Thouist is nothith stupid. Amen.
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