Bend Over….This Won’t Hurt At All. A Congressional and State Colonoscopy.

Being an ancient relic myself, (senior) and so far over the hill that if I wanted to climb over the top to see what was on the other side I’d have to have a freakin’ chair lift or pulley system. That painfully said, I can relate to the good and bad news, mostly, that all middle to lower class seniors got this past week.

That is if there is still a middle class. Actually, I think the only real middle class people are children who attend middle class schools.  I basically think it goes from poor to semi wealthy to stinkin’ rich. Oops….I think I’m dissing that 1% of the population again.

Anyhow, I figured out by talking to some other senior friends of mine that they basically got the ol shaft up the ol you know what this past week. Henceforth where the “bend over and this won’t hurt a bit” comes into play. I know some of you think there’s gonna be sex involved in this, but there isn’t. Actually might not have been so painful if there was.

Maybeeeee not.

Wellll...all of you nice seniors. My name is Nurse Ratchet. Now just kindly drop your drawers, bend over, and enjoy the moment.

It’s like this folks. Seniors on Social Security which is what seniors get in order to be sociable, received a COLA, (cost of living raise) which takes effect in January. Most seniors will get anywhere from nothing to 50 or 60 bucks depending on what they currently receive.  The government decided that 50 or 60 bucks was enough to offset the cost of living.  Lest we all die off because we wouldn’t be able to live if we didn’t get that wonderful huge increase.

Soooooo, seniors who also get benefits from the food stamp program, (SNAP) (this is not a TV program for you 1 percenters who might be checking your TV listings) immediately received a letter from those Holiday Elfs who run the SNAP program that said, “Hey….good news… just got an extra few bucks from the government with which to live on….congratulations.”

“Oops….did we fail to mention that because you got those extra bucks we’re cutting your food stamp benefit.  Easy come, easy go fella. But look at it this way, it’s only a few bucks we’re taking out of your COLA raise. Oh yeah….Merry Christmas.”

Ok… they chopped off a few bucks from seniors COLA raise. No big deal. So ya cut down on unnecessary stuff like food.  You wanted to lose a few pounds anyway didn’t you. So what the hell are ya bitchin’ about. Geez!!!

WAIT!!!   More good news.  Here in Connecticut, thanks to the Federal government, they also chopped the heating assistance to elderly and seniors in HALF!! Soooo, if you were getting say $350 in heating assistance for the year, which we all know is what it takes to heat a home for a year, then you would only receive $150 for the year.  Makes sense to me. If you have a fireplace and burn all of your unnecessary furniture to keep warm.  Nooooo problem.

So I did the math as I was bending over.  If they took away part of seniors COLA as well as cutting the heating assistance in half, that means that seniors actually did not receive any sort of raise at all.  In fact, they lost close to two hundred dollars in assistance in that deal.

Where the hell did these Federal and state agency people go to school to learn math? Most likely the “Ponzi  Rectum University.”

The bottom line, which only us seniors and 99% can see from down here, is that Washington and the state have no freakin’ clue.

I’ll stress this point to all of you readers once again. Which is, in a recent poll all respondents said that Congress is doing a F**KED up job (my words) and none of them slime ball no good for nothing a**wipes should be reelected. BUT……in that same poll said that they thought their congressman was doing a great job.

Soooooo, what does that mean my fine feathered friends.  It means that every congressman will get reelected. UNLESS…..we can vote in our state, cross the state line, and vote in another state against their congressmen. Because we all know it’s the other states congressmen that suck and not ours.  Makes sense to me.

(Making note:……Find out the legality of having two addresses in two different states)

So, in conclusion fellow slugs.  There ya have the good news and the bad news for seniors all across our fair land.  Or “lant” as the late Lawrence Welk used to say. He also used to say…” Wunnerful Wunnerful”.  (see you tube link)

In honor of all seniors who have to endure the biggggg shaft the government and state gave to them, I respectively am bending over, taking a photo of the lower portion of my rear anatomy, and mailing it to members of Congress and the my own state representatives. Kinda like a Christmas colonoscopy. Um……guess where I have my mistletoe hanging….heh, heh, heh.

In other words…………………..kiss my a**

(DONATE) The ever unpopular MisfitWisdom PayPal link is posted below. If it is not highlighted, copy and paste the link into your browser and it will take you to the PayPal site.  You could have done this yesterday when we were giving out free colonoscopies with each donation, but since then the government has shut us down and is running that program themselves. For information refer to the “BOYI” program. (bend over you idiot)

Copyright 2011 mISFITwISDOM rlv


About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on and Kindle
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