I’m beginning to get a bit paranoid about all this space stuff. You know, the search for life on other planets. Seems to me the government is spending way too much time and money on trying to find a planet that supports life. The question is why?
Do ya think they know something that we don’t know? Like maybe there IS life on other planets and it could mean more voters in future elections. Or, more money for the IRS if they could tax aliens. Maybe even a secret plan to invade another planet if there’s oil to be found under the guise of another planet harboring weapons of mass destruction. OR…..maybe it’s as simple as Disney looking for another place to open a theme park.
Personally, I think the government knows something we don’t know. Like when exactly the earth is going to come to an end. And if it does, where the 1% are going to head for when the end comes….. besides their banks to cash in their stocks and investments. Providing those other planets or planet accepts our cash, or, at least MasterCard and Visa.
Why else the big rush to find life on other planets? It’s obvious to me that they know something we don’t. But, if they all bail out for another planet when the end approaches you have to be a bit optimistic about it all.
First of all we all know only the rich and powerful will have access to those secret spaceships the government has hidden somewhere in the mountains of Colorado. Actually that’s good news. Because if the rich and powerful bail out on the rest of us that means we 99% will be able to run the planet the way it should be run.
The bad news is that we might only have a few hours to run the planet if the end is near. It all depends on how exactly the world comes to an end. If it’s a giant meteor heading for earth, basically we’re all screwed. One can only hope that when they, the 1%, bail out and head off in those spaceships, that the meteor misses us, we continue to exist, and when those dummies in space figure out we survived and attempt to return back to earth, we arrest them all upon reentry into a foreign government, namely ours, and them force them to live out their lives in concentration camps resembling Burger Kings and McDonald’s with nothing to eat but happy meals…..with no toys.
Just not having a toy in a Happy Meal will drive them absolutely nutso.
Of course this is just all speculation on my part. The real reason our government is searching for life on other planets is, as we all know, to create jobs. Yep……building houses, cities, streets and highways, giant corporations, more McDonald’s and Burger Kings, and producing more reality shows.
And….if you think I’m waaaay off base here, just look at the slate of candidates running for President. Most of them have demonstrated that they are really spacy and definitely candidates for space travel. All of them want to create jobs. So how are they gonna do that? In space of course!
I say lets cut to the chase right now, get to creating those jobs by sending Newt, Mitt, Jon, Ron, Rick & Rick and Michelle, as Ralph Cramden always used to say on the “Honeymooners,”….”One of these days Alice,…POW….right to the moon!.” Or, in their cases, right to some other planet. I, for one, personally think Newt’s already been there. Just a guess on my part.
THERE……I feel better already now that I’ve figured out why the government is all hyped up about going to space and finding other planets. Nothing sinister about all that. Now it all makes sense.
(NOTE:) If what I just wrote made absolutely complete sense to you, do not under any circumstances show up and vote in the 2012 elections. Because obviously you believe anything you read and are a freakin’ nutcase.
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