Sex and Seniors:(WARNING) Young People….Do Not Read This.

First of all, I issued that warning due to the fact that when you say the words, “sex and seniors” in the same sentence it sends young people into a wild frenzy with images of their parents getting it on, which eventually leads many of them to schedule sessions with their psychiatrist. This has mainly to do with the fact that many, if not all, young people, do not want to think that their parents or seniors still have sex. It’s called the “OMG!” factor.

Okay babeeee.....what's it gonna be......heads I leave my teeth in or tails I take em out?

AND…. if they so much as conjure up an image of that scene, severe brain damage can occur.

Let me enlighten you younger folk with some info from an article by Rita Watson an associate fellow at Yale entitled, “Sex makes For Happy Seniors.”

(why do they call women “fellows as in, “associate “fellow” at Yale)  I don’t get it. Unless everyone at Yale is required to be a fellow and women have to wear mens clothing just to fit in.

Anyhow, Watson’s article goes in depth as to why seniors who indulge in sex are happy. Which I personally think is a no brainer, considering I’m a senior and I’m verrrrrrry happy. And I’m not even a fellow at Yale or any other place.

According to her article seniors are “enjoying sex and are happier than those who are not.” Again, a no brainer. Happy, happy, happy, that’s my motto folks.

Her data was based on a study conducted by, Adrienne Jackson, an assistant professor at Florida Agricultural and Mechanical University.  Because, as we all know,  sex has something to do with mechanics and agriculture. You know, the mechanics of actually getting into position for sex at the age of 80, (not easy) and then the agriculture part, which I think is smoking a cigarette or something afterwards.  My guess anyhow.

Dr. Jackson also compiled some research from the General Social Survey, which is the largest funded survey of the National Science Foundation.

See, you all thought that science was kinda dull didn’t you.

Furthermore, in 2008, the universities of Chicago and Toronto studied 3,005 men and women between the ages of 57 to 85, and, as reported in the New England Journal of Medicine, two-thirds of those in their 70’s were having sex at least twice a month.  Most likely after attending a local bingo night game because they got all excited.

BUT…the study said there were some challenges, besides trying to have a winning card at bingo. Both genders admit to sexual issues, (not magazine issues) but men were more inclined to talk to their doctors while the women were not. The reason……men got that little blue pill (Viagra, Cialas). Women on the other hand did not, so they experienced a host of other issues which can lead to a reduced sex drive. (this does not mean that if you get less sex if you are a woman that you drive less)

What it means is that another problem arises if women have less desire than men for sex. Namely, that men are turning to younger women, which means in the long run that it improves their health and live a longer life span. That’s the good news guys.

The bad news, and we all know there’s always bad news to go along with the good news, is that “the more sexually active men are, the more chances that they will die in the arms of a younger woman.”

Hmmmm…..this is BAD news?

WAIT….oh, I see, (I failed to read the last part of that sentence)  Which is….”Older women tend to die alone in nursing homes.”

BUT….there was no mention in this article that while men tend to die off while in the arms of a younger woman while the older women were in rest homes after their spouse croaked, just how long was it after he bought the farm that they survived on their late husband’s $100,000 life insurance policy with bigggg smiles on their faces.

Again, a quote from the article:  “Given the link to happiness, should society encourage more sex among unmarried older women or unmarried seniors in general?”

YES….YES…YES…YES…YES…!!!!  Ya don’t have to be a rocket scientist to figure out that one doc!

But….she went ahead and posed that question a hospital chaplain, (not MY first choice) by asking if he thought God would give a pass to unmarried seniors and single grandparents who enjoy an occasional, “roll in the hay.”

The chaplains response: “Sometimes we judge ourselves more harshly than the good Lord Himself.”

(The chaplains name was withheld to protect him from the wrath of well-meaning Christians who are quick to judge their neighbors)

I personally suspect that it was Radar O’Rielly.

In concluding her article, Watson writes: “perhaps these happily married seniors, (maybe single ones too) have learned that the secret to long life happiness is an appreciation for one another, a gentle touch, and a healthy dose of creative sex.”

God I love this woman.

(DONATE)  The ever unpopular MisfitWisdom PayPal donate link is listed below. If it is not highlighted, copy and paste it into your browser and it will take you to PayPal, where you can donate whatever amount you wish. And, if you happen to be an old geezer visiting the PayPal site with a younger woman and can’t remember why you went there, she’ll be able to help you.  BUT….puleeeese hurry up and donate jussssst in case you buy the farm while in that younger woman’s arms.

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Copyright 2011 MisfitWisdom RLV

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About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
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