First of all my apologies to Willie Loco Alexander of Gloucester, Massachusetts, a very dear friend of mine and a very talented musician. I did not intend to associate in any manner the fact that he may be in any way shape or form able to give you the “Willies” by reading today’s blog.
You might get the “Willies”watching him perform if you’re ever in Gloucester or surrounding areas, not only due to his immense musical talent, but, that he bears a striking resemblance to Rod Stewart. (photo below) Soooo, if you’re into Rod Stewart but can’t even get close to him, the next best thing is Willie.
The “Willies” I’m about to refer to, and what will give you the “Willies” is a new discovery in New Zealand of a giant freakin’ insect. This thing (pictured) is larger than three mice, which even scares the bejesus out of mice, and on top of that it’s bigger than a damn bird, and, on top of that, it has the wing span of a 747. No, not really, but it does have a wing span of seven inches.
I would think that if that thing got into your house, with a wing span of seven inches, you’d be able to hear it coming for a mile. Which leads me to believe that with a wing span of that size, what the hell else does it have that’s large.
Like feet for instance. Does it take a sneaker size of triple E? And if it does, can ya hear it when it walks across your floor? Would you be able to track it in the snow by its large footprints? OR due to the number of feet, which I think either are four or five. I’m not sure because there’s no way I’m gonna go out and check one of these huge insects for anything.
It was discovered by Mark Moffett who is an insect enthusiast. Who are usually people who have nothing better to do, do not own a television set, and have sworn off of any type of relationship with a woman. Or, it might be the other way around. Women have sworn off any type of relationship with any guy, like Moffett, who may have a bunch of insects hanging around his house.
“Mark honeeeee, is that your hand caressing me, and if it is, why does it have sticky stuff on it and feel kinda furry? Agggggggghhhh!!!”
Right now, as we speak, or write (in my case) this giant bug, so far, has only been found on Little Barrier Island New Zealand. Which raises the question: What the hell are those people in New Zealand doing that makes a bug get THAT big?
(checking my files for what people in New Zealand do most of the time)
Hmmm. There was nothing strange to indicate in my research that New Zealander’s are doing anything out of the ordinary. Other than living in New Zealand, which no one can get to from wherever they are.
However, I did find out that a lot of various species have become extinct. 51 to be exact. Like 5 birds species, 3 frogs, 3 lizards, 1 fish, 1 bat and a partridge along with a pear tree. Most likely all eaten by that huge bug………… or, displayed prominently on Moffett’s wall or in glass display cases.
If I were you, and you were planning to take a trip to New Zealand, you might want to reconsider in light of this new bug discovery. Either that, or pack your suitcase with a lot of “RAID” or some other insect repellent. Maybe a verrrrrry big fly swatter. Or an Uzi. Can never be too prepared….my motto.
Personally, I have enough problems right here in the ol USA with bugs. Most of which are small enough that I can swat the hell out of or my cats use as play things. I do not need a bug the size of a damn mouse running around my house. It would just be another mouth to feed because, being a compassionate person, I never kill a bug, but simply throw them back outside. I look at them as God’s creatures, and if God made them, then he must have had a very good reason. Otherwise why would they be crawling around all over the place.
Unless God has a very weird sense of humor, or our concept of Heaven is all wrong and everyone up there is an insect. Did ya ever wonder where the “wings” part comes in whenever you see a picture of an angel? I mean, after all, how do we actually know that when Leonardo da Vinci painted “The Last Supper” that maybe he eliminated the insects and bugs that were there due to all the food on that table, and, what with all the commotion going on and small talk, simply decided to paint all the guys rather than the insects too. Maybe he just wasn’t good at painting insects so he left them out.
I personally have never seen a painting by Leonardo that had an insect in it.
Maybeeeee the insects and bugs were all part of God’s plan. Maybe now, to make us all aware of how important bugs and insects are, he decided to create that one huge bug in New Zealand just so we’d all get the point. Whatever the point is. Maybe not to step on or spray bugs with Raid. Who knows? Yet another mystery of life.
Jusssst to be on the safe side, because I’m not sure exactly what Leonardo da Vinci saw, or left out of his painting, and, because I’d rather play it safe, jusssst in case God made bugs for a reason, I’m still not gonna kill any bug. Ya never know.
AND, if I so much as see one insect the size of that damn bug in New Zealand, I still won’t kill it, but I will call the ASPCA and make them put it up for adoption. Just to be on the safe side. Wouldn’t want to piss God off.
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Copyright 2011 MisfitWisdom RLV