Why Pepper Spray? Why Not Oregano, Parsley Or Perhaps Even Febreze

I don’t get it.  Police using pepper spray on protesters all over the country.  Even some elderly old lady got sprayed.  Do they have any idea what that stuff does to your eyeballs?

Surely if all of these protesters are protesting peacefully then another method of the police showing their authority would be to counter the protesters with a peaceful alternative.  I mean, if it’s all about protesting peacefully, then the police should protest the protesters who are protesting by protesting in their own way with stuff that’s peaceful in nature.

Like using parsley, oregano, Febreze, perhaps even Old Spice after shave or something else in a spray.  Personally I think if the police were to get their hands on perfume that a lot of old senior citizen women wear, that might work just as effectively. Have you ever been in an elevator with an old woman who just poured an entire bottle of Yves St. Laurenstink on her body?  Makes me wanna get outta there fast.

Ya see, peaceful protesting should not require that police storm in and beat the crap out of anyone, or spray them with pepper spray. This is not like the 60’s during the Vietnam war protests when it was the government against the protesters. Namely Nixon.  Lest we forget what happened at Kent State.

The only difference between protesters here and protesters in other countries is that in other countries they shoot you.  Most likely because there might be a shortage of pepper, which many dictators like to use on their food, so, it might be a lot cheaper to just use bullets.

Fortunately the use of bullets to keep protesters in line hasn’t happened here….YET!  But what do ya think is being shown on foreign television of the demonstrations here in the United States?  Do you think maybe they’re looking at us and thinking that our government might be overthrown such as what has taken place in Egypt, Libya and the rest of those countries.

At least if police resort to using more friendly means of evicting protesters it wouldn’t look so bad on national TV.  So ya get sprayed with oregano and you immediately have a craving for a pizza, get up and leave peacefully and no one is hurt or complains and the local pizza shop makes a killing.  Makes sense to me.

Spray these protesters with Febreze and the entire area smells squeaky clean, has sort of a calming effect on everyone, plus it might make a good commercial spot for the Febreze people. See…..everybody’s happy.

And if you resort to using the ultimate weapon to break up a group of protesters, go with that old lady perfume tactic.  If it works in a damn elevator it sure as hell is gonna work on a bunch of protesters. Unless some of those protesters are old ladies, in which case they would have to resort to using a combination of chemicals in a spray composed of bingo hall smell and Macy’s sale basement.  POOF!   They’d be outta there in a heartbeat.

The police on the other hand are just like you and I.  They are paid to enforce the law and are just doing their job.  Part of their job specs state that they be allowed break time just like the rest of us in our normal everyday jobs.

With that thought in mind, the protesters could counter the police spraying tactics with their own spray concoction.  I call it, “Donut Shop Spray.”  Yep, the odors and smells of a donut shop condensed into a spray can.  When the police approach to disperse the crowd, they all whip out these cans of donut shop spray and immediately the police stop in their tracks, turn around and head for the nearest donut shop.  How easy is that….and non violent too.

The result of getting sprayed with "Donutspray" (Drawing by Bill McGregor Mantelli@cox.net)

I’m thinking of marketing this donut shop spray myself. Might call it, “Dunkincopspray,” or “Starflatfootspray,”  or perhaps just “Donutfuzzrepellent.”   Might also add a just slight hint of Juan Valdez aroma into the mix.  Can’t hurt.

So, all in all this would make for peaceful protesting, a very nice smelling protest area, lots of money for donut shops, pizza restaurants, and spice manufacturers, which would boost the economy and create more jobs, and which would also allow the police to use that pepper spray on food rather than on people.  See how nicely this all works out.

Now if I could only convince that geeky looking long-necked President guy in Syria to stop shooting his people and incorporate into a spray Syrian’s favorite dish, Ba’lawa, which is made of filo pastry filled with chopped nuts and soaked in honey, they could quell their protesters peacefully as well.

Who the hell wants to protest with a full stomach anyhow.  Better to ingest that dish with those chopped nuts than to protest and get your nuts chopped off.  My motto anyway.

(DONATE)  The MisfitWisdom PayPal donate link is listed below. If it is not highlighted, copy and paste it into your browser and it will take you to PayPal….hopefully.  If by chance you wind up in the middle of a protest instead of at PayPal, just relax, take a deep breath, grab a donut, and run like hell..um…..make sure you donate first. Donuts aren’t cheap ya know.


Copyright 2011 MisfitWisdom RLV

Header: chickart@cox.net

About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
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