Yes, we all like to just sit back on a quiet Sunday and relax and put the week’s news behind us. Moammar is gone, lying in a meat locker somewhere in Libya. Obama announces that the troops will be pulled out of Iraq. Wall Street occupiers are still occupying. Herman Cain wins another straw poll. Michelle Bachmann loses some of her staff. And a political candidate in New Jersey is in hot water for saying some women should be whores. Ho Hum.
WAIT!!!! He said WHAT? OMG!!
Republican state Senate candidate, (and obviously a really stupid person) Phil Mitsch, (rhymes with bitch, I think) says he didn’t mean to offend women by his comments.
His comments: The way for a woman to keep her man is to be a “whore” in the bedroom.
Oh….that’s all. Geez….works for me.
But, then again, I’m not running for a Senate seat. Phil, for cripes sake, ya can’t go around saying things like that. Yes, it’s true that most men would love to have their women act like whores in the bedroom, and, as appealing as it may sound to “ALL” men, (Rev. Robert Jeffress excluded because this guy is a freakin’ nut case) if you’re running for political office you have to keep those thoughts to yourself. Perhaps, if you really want to appeal to the voters, print up some small business cards with that saying on it rather than tweeting it on Twitter. Might be a bit more discreet.
Phil says he didn’t mean to offend women but that the comments were a version of advice given by others. Most likely those “others” were Phil’s buddies who gave him that advice while they were all sitting around in a sauna room swapping stories about their sex lives and what it takes to make a man happy.
This obviously will now give all whores across America a new-found sense of respectability.
Once again the end was near, but in the end it didn’t pan out. And I personally keep a very close eye on my end. Harold Camping, that preacher who keeps telling us that the end is near was wrong once again. He predicted last week that the, “end” was indeed near, first on May 21st, then said it would be this past Friday, and woke up on Saturday all pissed off because it wasn’t as near as he said it would be.
My question is this. If he EVER gets it right, how will he know that he got it right if we’re, including him, are all freakin’ dead? I mean, it’s not like the guy is gonna be able to say to anyone, “Hah, I told ya so!”
Finally, just in case you missed one of the week’s most earth shattering news items. Ben and Jerry’s is taking some heat from some of their supermarket chains that stock their ice cream brand, “Schweddy Balls.” Although I can’t seem to understand why. I mean, it’s not like a bunch of jock type guys in speedos are protesting because they think it demeans parts of their bodies.
The ice cream was really a popular flavor consisting of fudge-covered rum balls, (which actually contained no sweat whatsoever) and was also part of a “Saturday Night Live” skit featuring Alec Baldwin as baker Pete Schweddy. His famous line in that routine was, “No one can resist my Schweddy balls.”
I personally thought it quite ingenious and envisioned a chain of Schweddy Ball franchises all across America. With a giant pair of “Schweddy Balls” hanging from a sign in front of each establishment. So much for that idea.
Hmmmm……I’m thinkin’ that candidate Phil Mitsch and Ben & Jerry’s could actually team up and capitalize on all this publicity. Perhaps open a new ice cream chain featuring the “Schweddy Balls” ice cream and employing those women whom Phil mentioned would make men happy.
Can you just imagine the concept. What more could any man wish for. Whores serving ice cream called, “Schweddy Balls.”
Obviously every mans dream.
That’s all folks! (B. Bunny) Have a really great Sunday. I’m off to do my daily exercises, working up a really good pair of sweatty b…um…….abs, yeah that’s it, abs, and then see if my other half REALLY wants to make me happy by acting like a wh….um….er…….whatever.
(DONATE) The PayPal donate link, which is in no way associated with Ben & Jerry’s or women of ill repute or balls of any kind, is below. If it is not highlighted, copy and paste it into your browser and it will take you to the PayPal site. If it has a distinct odor of a mens locker room, just ignore it. Might just be some PayPal executives working out during break time enjoying some Schweddy Balls ice cream.
Copyright 2011 MisfitWisdom RLV