Yeah, I knew you’d be looking at today’s blog the minute I mentioned that Barbie might be nude? Damn perverts. Actually, I’m right up there with ya because I clicked on the article that had the word “nude” and “Barbie” in the same sentence. That and model Katie Halchishik’s name as well.
As it turns out, Katie “was” in fact nude, but, as usual, thingys placed in strategic places so as to not to offend those of you who may never have seen a photograph of a naked woman. Or a naked Barbie.
(if there are any small children in the room, please read this before they
come in and happen to catch a glimpse of a naked Barbie and freak out)
(if you are a woman reading this blog, please read this before your spouse comes in the room and happens to catch a glimpse of Katie Halchishik and freaks out)
(if you’re a guy, and you’re reading this, it’s ok……go ahead and freak out)
So what’s with all of this naked stuff anyhow? “O” Magazine, (Nov. issue) is featuring an article on what it would take to have a body like Barbie’s. So they photographed model Katie Halchishik and highlighted parts of her body that would have to undergo surgery to have a perfect body like Barbie’s.
I, for one, can’t imagine why in the world Katie would ever want to change her own body. I mean, look at it…it’s….um….it’s….er……(pant)……much better than a Barbie dolls body. Of course that’s my own opinion. And, due to the fact that I myself have never owned a Barbie doll, I really am in no position to make a comparison, but, just from a male standpoint, I think I’d opt for the Katie look.
So, what exactly would it take if you really wanted to look like Barbie. I would think first of all that you’d have to have a lot of plastic pumped into your body to get that Barbie look. I was joking….but….then I continued to read the story, and, as it turns out….I was right.
Here’s some, if not all, of the procedures that you would need to look like Barbie: A brow lift, jaw line shave, (no, this does not mean you have to start shaving ladies) rhinoplasty, (which does not involve any actual Rhinos) cheek and neck reduction, a breast lift, (usually both) liposuction on your arms and a tummy tuck. All that to look like Barbie.
And there are actually women that have had this done. None of whom, I assume, work for Mattel, the people who make Barbie dolls. Although I could be wrong.
55 year-old Cindy Jackson has had 52 cosmetic surgeries so that she could look like Barbie. Her husband Ken, has not, so he still looks like Alan Greenspan……I think.
Katie Halchishik now mentors high schools students about body image issues. “they think what makes a girl beautiful is skinny with big boobs, perfect hair and make up.”
Geez……ya mean that’s NOT what makes a girl beautiful? Coulda’ fooled me. And about six gazillion other male slugs.
Although I do tend to agree with Katie…..as I gaze at her photo (above) and say to myself, “ya know, she’s right……who needs skinny with big boobs, perfect hair and make up.” This is also my thought considering that if I write anything different in this blog my other half will pound the damn bejesus outta me.
Last year a total of 13.1 millions body parts were altered. However I don’t think all of them were from that same 55 year-old woman who I mentioned above. Damn close though.
Now I’m thinking to myself, geez, what do they do with all of those leftover body parts? I mean, leftover boob parts, stomachs, arms, chins, rhinoliposuctionplasty parts…..geez! Seems like a waste to me. Where’s Dr. Frankenstein and Igor when ya need them?
“Igor…quick, to the lab….a new shipment of body parts are comin’ in and we need to get movin to create a new perfect woman…..six boobs, skinny, and unable to talk.”
“SHE’S A-L-I-V-E I TELL YA…..ALIVE!!!!
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Copyright 2011 MisfitWisdom RLV