Sniff…..I really can’t enjoy my pizza anymore. Everytime I think about ordering a pizza all I can think about is Godfather’s Pizza owner Herman Munster….no, that’s not right, um….oh yeah…Herman Cain’s remarks about those Wall Street Protestors.
Here’s his remarks, jussssst in case you’ve been under a rock, or, perhaps protesting yourself and just haven’t had the time to catch up on things, like taking showers, shaving, reading the newspapers or starving because you don’t have a job.
“Don’t blame (greedy) Wall Street, don’t blame the big (bailout) banks, if you don’t have a job and you’re not rich. Blame yourself! It is not someones fault if they succeeded, it is someones fault, (you) if they failed.” (parenthesis mine)
Damn, I feel so embarrassed now. All of this animosity I harbored towards big banks and Wall Street…..and all for nothing. How foolish and childish of me. (sniff) I’m soooooooooo ashamed of myself.
Those people up there at Wall Street have all the right in the world to make gazillions of dollars. All of us can do the same if we just buckled down and did the same. Each and every one of us can get a job at Wall Street and make gazillions of dollars too. EVERYBODY from the lowly people who work at supermarkets, gas stations, department stores, and everywhere else who could not afford a college education because their parents were too poor to afford sending them to college should be able to land a job at Wall Street. So there! If you failed and you’re not successful it’s your own damn fault.
And the banks. The poor misunderstood banks. Ok, ok, so some of them needed bailouts because they were on the verge of failure and had to have the government bail them out. What the hell’s wrong with that? Couldn’t any of us have received a government loan too when we might have failed on our obligations? Geez, all we had to do was ask the government to help us out with a few bucks just to get us over the hoop for Gawd’s sake.
Why didn’t we think of doing that? Because, as Herman said, it’s our own fault if we failed. So what the hell are all of these protestors protesting about? It’s their own fault. If we had only used our miniscule pea sized everyday working class brains to apply for a government bailout we’d be just as well off as Wall Street and big banks.
So did we do that. NOOOOOOOOO!!!! We were too busy spending our money on stupid stuff like pizzas, (Godfather’s perhaps) and using our debit cards to buy groceries and pay bills. We should have opted to forgo those luxuries and invested in Wall Street and buy some stock in banks and be sitting pretty today. What the F**K is wrong with all of you people out there protesting?
Take that protesting energy and direct it towards those other people who caused all of this unrest in the first place. You should be out there protesting in front of every American’s house that did not go to college, who did not get a job in a bank and became a CEO, and who spent their money foolishly on extravagant things like food, groceries, prescriptions, gas, clothing and Girl Scout cookies. It’s their damn fault, like Herman said. Get your butts out there and show those slackers that it’s not Wall Streets, big corporations or banks who are the greedy ones.
I say support Wall Street greed, big bank bailouts and increasing bank usage fees. They all made it to the big time just like you damn poor people could have. So what the hell are ya blaming them for anyhow? And, if another big auto manufacturer fails, hell, bail them out too. Why stop? We slugs are the only ones to blame for our own failures. I say let’s bail out anybody that fails. Um….especially big corporations. Because, as Mitt Romney said, “they’re people too.” (sniff)
And wouldn’t want any of THEM, (corporations) to fail, because if they did, Herman would simply remind us that, we shouldn’t blame them, we should blame ourselves. (sniff)
Gosh, I feel so silly asking for donations on my blog each day. I should be able to simply survive on my enormous $233 check per week………by not paying any of my expenses, (utilities, gas, groceries, prescriptions, Viagra…..um….skip that last expense, I usually break my Viagra’s in two to last longer……same effect but I never have to worry about a four-hour erection…..just two hours)
And all that I can squeeze out of my weekly check does not include anything I might need to feed my cats, (5) grab a snack at a Dunkin Donuts, or buy one stinkin’ lottery ticket during the week. All very extravagant purchases. Oh yeah, and printer ink so I can print out research stories to write these blogs. Hmmmmm…….maybe I could just forget the printer ink and write out my notes in longhand. Nah, that won’t work either because I couldn’t afford to go to college so I couldn’t write things out in longhand because I never learned how to spell big words, which is why I have to print out my research. Besides, my budget is so tight as it is that I can’t afford any new pens….and I go through a lot of them.
Do ya think the government will bail me out so that I can afford printer ink or at least a new Sharpie?
(DONATE) The PayPal donate link, otherwise known as the MisfitWisdom bailout site, is below. If it is not highlighted, copy and paste it into your browser and it will take you to the PayPal site. There are absolutely no protestors there, so it’s quite safe to simply go to PayPal and make a donation. Unless, you feel that Herman is correct, and it’s my own fault that I can’t afford printer ink or a new Sharpie pen.
Copyright 2011 MisfitWisdom RLV