Virtual: “having the effect but not the actual form” (dictionary) Because I’m waaay too stupid to define “virtual” without having to look it up. Well, actually I did know what “virtual” meant, but, just to be on the safe side, I looked it up. Only because some smart wisenheimer would nail me if I got it wrong.
Anyhow, the next big trend in computers is virtual keyboards. Keyboards that are there, but, not really there. Kinda like ex-wives that are there, but aren’t really there, but they constantly make your life miserable, so in reality they’re kinda virtual.
Some companies are already manufacturing virtual keyboards like the “Senseboard,” Samsung’s, “Surry” and Celluon’s “Magic Cube.” Which should not be confused with ice cubes. Which are not virtual….yet.
The idea behind this is to project an image of a keyboard on to your desk which allows you to type whatever is is you want to type thus eliminating the need for a real keyboard which attracts food crumbs, cat hair, dust, and nostril hair if you tend to sneeze a lot while you’re typing. Blagh!!
We’re evolving into a virtual reality world, so this is yet another step towards eliminating all things that are physically present. Which would be great if they could expand that into virtually eliminating ex-wives…..and perhaps the IRS.
But let’s take a look at what else could be expanded into our virtual reality world. Stuff that we actually don’t need to have around physically. Yes, I know….pet rocks were the first step into virtual reality by eliminating the need for an actual pet. BUT…ya still had to dust off that stinkin’ rock every now and then.
So, how about eliminating stuff like the actual computer itself. If you can have a virtual keyboard, why not a virtual computer too. Just have a tiny box that projects your Internet connection onto a wall using your virtual keyboard. Problem with this is how do ya pay for this stuff….virtually. Maybe send your provider a virtual check? And how do they provide you with service in the first place…..virtually? Will there be virtual tech people you can call if you have a problem? AND…if you reach one of these virtual people, do you need to prove to them that you’re a real person and not a virtual one?
What happens if everything eventually becomes virtual and there’s no live objects or people…..just virtual ones? Maybe less traffic jams on the Interstate too.
What happens when this gets really out of hand and someone invents virtual sex? This is sex without having sex with an actual person. Um…..WAIT….I think that’s already a reality. It’s called mas……um……neverrrrrr mind.
Look at all of the innovative things that have come along in recent years, The iPod, Pad, and Maxi-Pad, (women only) Laptop computers, smart phones, tablet computers, electric cars, “On-Star” that lets you talk to people from your car if you have a problem, E-Z Pass that let’s you avoid having to whip out cash when you zip through a toll booth, cameras that take your photo as you zip through that toll both at 70 mph, and ATM machines that you can put money into without making out a deposit slip and a terse message from that ATM if you attempt to deposit Monopoly money into it just to see what happens. Not that “I” ever tried that of course.
There was even a company that made virtual type glasses that you clamped over your eyeballs that were connected to a computer that allowed you to experience various things, sexual experiences for one, as you comfortably sat back in a recliner. Again, virtual sex. CRIPES!!! Does this mean that women will become virtual? Or men, depending on your fantasy of course.
Hmmmm…..does this mean that I will be able to project an image of any woman I desire onto my desk, (like a virtual keyboard image) and have my way with her. WAIT!! That’s not gonna work. If I’m live and my virtual reality image is not, my computer desk could become messy. Which brings us back to the actual keyboard and those crumbs and thingys that get stuck between the keys. Hmmm, think I’ll pass on that one.
So you can see where I’m going with this folks. The ideas for virtual reality inventions is limitless. One can only imagine what the next thing will be.
I for one am not too excited about all of these new virtual things. I guess it’s because I’m used to getting my hands on things. Sort of a comfort factor. If I can touch and feel it, I feel secure.
Like Linus in the “Peanuts” comic strip, I’d feel lost if I did not have an actual security blanket in deference to a virtual one. Or sex without a real live person. Just call me old-fashioned.
Oops, gotta go….time to dust off my pet rock.
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Copyright 2011 MisfitWisdom RLV