Comcast: Pick Your Own TV Programs

Ok….so Comcast is testing a new idea for us TV slugs.  Kinda like a “menu” option. You only pick and pay for the programs that you want to watch. I briefly mentioned that in yesterdays “WTF” blog.

Why I visit my optometrist on a monthly basis....then send the bill to Comcast.

Now I’ve often thought that this is something they should have done a long time ago. If they do it the correct way.  Meaning, only charge you for what you want to watch, not for all the rest of the stuff you’re forced to pay for but that you don’t watch.

I think I’ve narrowed my list down to 6. Does this mean I’ll only pay a few bucks a month for the 6 programs I want?  Probably not if they have the same mentality as those jerks at Bank of America.  But it will be interesting to see how they gauge that.

Speaking of Bank of America, is it true that they’re thinking of installing toll booths at their ATM’s?

Ok, back to the TV thing.  Some programs that I do not need….EVER!

The new “Hawaii 5-0.”  Because I still remember the old Hawaii 5-0 so its not the same. Like watching an Elvis impersonator after you’ve seen the real Elvis.  “Book em Dano!” Don’t need this on Comcast.  Savings….$5. Maybe.

“The Biggest Loser.”  Now why in the hell do I need to watch a bunch of fat people losing weight?  I can simply go to my local track area, perch myself on a bench, and watch a bunch of fat people walk around the track while they’re munching on a Twinkie.  Question: Why is it thin people walk around that track too? Were they once fat?  Or are they there just to piss the fat people off. Kinda like the na-na-na-na-na-na- factor.

I really like the AMC channel but I’m kinda tired of seeing “Rocky II,” “The Green Mile” “Clear and Present Danger,” and “Terminator.”  5,643,000 movies made since the talkies were introduced and AMC keeps showing the same four movies. WTF! Don’t need it anymore cause I’ve got Netflix. Savings….$5. Maybe.

Don’t need the following channels either: AP,(I already have a bunch of animals, 5 cats, why the heck do I need to watch any on Animal Planet) BET, Bravo, Cartoon, (yeah, like “I” need to watch freakin’ cartoons when all I have to do is turn on CNN or Fox) CMTV, CNBC, Disney, (because I’ve already seen the 200th release of Cinderella and Bambi) E, EWTN, HGTV, INDFILM, (which I have no idea what the hell that is) MSNBC, (just how many variations of NBC do ya need for cripes sake) MTV, (if I don’t understand the music on the radio what makes you think I’d understand it on MTV…the videos!) NEGO, (have no clue) TRAVEL, (only because I can’t afford to travel anywhere so why torment myself watching this channel) TRUTV, ( because nothing’s really true on TV) UNI, (hey, I only speaka da English so why should I be forced to pay for this one…..unless I enjoy watching a few hot Latin babes in low-cut dresses speaking in Spanish at 100 words per minute)  VH1, (ok…so maybe there are a few songs I DO understand on this channel but not enough for me to veg out in front of the tube for)

Then there are the sports channels. ESPN, ESPN2-3-4-5-6-& 7…..I think. Golf, (yawn) SPEED, (which I can’t keep up with) VS and YES…..(because I’m only into baseball and one of those is the evil empire channel)

Sooooo………how much money can I hack off of my cable bill if I only pick the ones I really watch?  If my calculations are correct, I should save about $80 bucks a month, which means my cable bill will go down to $20 bucks a month. I guess we know where this Comcast experiment is going……………. SOUTH!!

I think eventually there will be some sort of change down the pike by cable companies. Nothing, of course, that will cost them money. I think the guy who thought of this idea to have a “menu” option for subscribers is no longer with Comcast and is working at a Burger King somewhere…….on a different menu.

Eventually, as we all know, EVERYTHING will be accessed through your computer.  Many people currently have no landlines anymore and use their cell phones as their primary phones. Some connecting through the Internet, such as a friend of mine, who calls me using his Internet connected cell phone, who I can never clearly understand because while I’m talking to him I’m getting audio feeds from “Judge Judy” and on occasion, the “Fox News Channel.” I could have sworn once that he was being held by some terrorists until I realized it was a news feed from CNN.

With the recording capabilities available to all of us, DVD’s Tvo’s, On Demand, and audio/video brain implant and eyeball transplant micro chips, why the hell do we need Comcast anyhow?   Eventually ya go to your cable provider/surgeon, they do a five-minute implant procedure, and “shazam!” you receive all the TV programs you want via your eyeballs.

How simple is that!

All your chosen TV programs will automatically be sent to your brain and you won’t even need a TV set.  AND….in high def 3-D! The really good news….. no more cable bills.

The really bad news……the surgical operation to implant the TV chip into your brain costs $3,000,000.

And……you have to walk around all the time with two tiny antennas sticking out of your ears.

Caution……do not go out in a severe thunderstorm.

(DONATE) The PayPal donate link is below. If it is not highlighted, simply copy and paste the link below into your browser, (not your TV box) and it will take you to the PayPal site where you can donate the pittance of your choice. Ya see, we here at MisfitWisdom “do” give you a choice of what you can donate. No menu involved. How simple is that!

Copyright 2011 MisfitWisdom RLV


About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on and Kindle
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