Jack-o’-lanterns may not get jacked up by being illuminated this year.
Linus and Charlie Brown may not get to have their yearly rendezvous with the “Great Pumpkin.” Rendezvous, for those of you who are not up on big words and prefer simpler words that you can understand, means, “meeting.” Just thought I’d help ya out there.
According to farmers who grow pumpkins in the Northeast area, states are facing a pumpkin shortage due to the effects of Hurricane Irene which destroyed hundreds of pumpkin patches across the region. This obviously will have a devastating effect on not only the economy, which depends on pumpkins, but Linus and Charlie Brown as well. Not to mention the effect it will have on America’s most important day, or night, Halloween.
Darcy Pray, owner of Pray’s Family Farms in Keeseville in upstate New York says that overflowed rivers and flooded fields along the East Coast and into southern Canada washed about 15,000 to 20,000 pumpkins into Lake Champlain. Which account for the number of UFO sightings along the shores of Lake Champlain. And one Loch Ness sighting.
However, there is a good and bad side to this story. The good news is that pumpkin growers in other parts of the country like Illinois, Indiana, California, Ohio and Michigan are gonna have a hell of a time keeping up with their pumpkin sales because they were not affected by Hurricane Irene. The bad news. Pumpkin buyers here in the Northeast are gonna pay big buckaroos for pumpkins imported from those states. Unless some of you pumpkin buyers can high tail it up to the Lake Champlain area and scoff up some pumpkins floating down the river.
Just try to stay away from any strange-looking pumpkins in the river….like green ones or ones with an over abundance of hair. I’m not too sure what it was exactly some people saw floating down the river, and, if by chance, they were UFO’s or something similar to the Loch Ness monster, you could be in deep dog crap if you attempted to shag one. Be on the safe side, that’s my motto. If it ain’t orangey in color with a big stem….run like hell.
I can’t imagine Halloween without pumpkins. Or Linus and Charlie Brown not having their yearly encounter with the Great Pumpkin. It’s like a day without some sort of story on Sarah Palin and Michelle Bachmann. Just ruins the whole day.
Now I’m not sure if Hurricane Irene managed to ruin the gourd or more specifically, the zucchini crop, but that might be an option in place of pumpkins. Although I’m not quite sure how you’d carve up a gourd or zucchini to look like a pumpkin. Maybe just buy a basketball and stick a gourd or zucchini into it as the nose part. Or another part of the anatomy if you tend to be some kind of pervert on Halloween. Whatever creative juices float your boat, or gourd and zucchini.
Perhaps Linus and Charlie Brown might consider just bypassing this years “Great Pumpkin” quest and Charlie could escort his girlfriend, (the little red-haired girl) somewhere more exciting than some old dark cold foreboding pumpkin patch.
Like perhaps the upcoming Emmy awards presentations. No pumpkins there, but a lot of strange sights which can be just as scary as sitting in a dark pumpkin field in the dead of night.
Trust me on this one Linus, Charlie, and pumpkin lovers. All these sights will drive you our of you everlovin’ gourd…..or zucchini.
(DONATE) The Great Pumpkin Pay Pal link (GPPP) is below. If it is not illuminated, simply copy and paste it into your browser and it will take yo to the PayPal pumpkin patch where you can make a donation to MisfitWisdom which will allow me to drive out to those states that have a huge supply of pumpkins, buy a gazillion of them, and then drive back to New England and make a killing selling them. Watch for my pumpkin stand somewhere along Interstate 95. Only $25.00 per pumpkin. BUT WAIT!! Buy two pumpkins and I’ll throw in a gourd and zucchini absolutely free of charge.
Copyright 2011 MisifitWisdom RLV