Senate Poised To Vote On Raising Taxes On Millionaires. WHAT!!!! OMG!!!!

This week the Senate is scheduled to take a vote on raising taxes on

Scene from "Deliverence" where a wealthy person is given the option of having his taxes raised or suffering the consequences.

millionaires.  I find it kind of hard to believe that the Senate would approve of such a plan considering that the Senate is composed of millionaires, with the exception of the guys who clean up the Senate floor after the Senate adjourns, the guys who clean the Senate restrooms, the Senate doormen, pages, cafeteria workers, and Vice President Joe Biden whose net worth is somewhere between $302,920 and $277,997* which is very close to poverty.

(*Center For Responsive Politics who I guess keeps track of things that are politically responsive)

So, as one would say, and I will, this bill perhaps has a, “snowballs chance in hell,” or Washington, (same place) of passing.

So, with that in mind, MisfitWisdom sent out a reporter to find out exactly how raising taxes on millionaires would affect them.  Our reporter sat down with U.S. Senator Freebus Blowhard, (Ga) and posed these questions:

“Senator, if the U.S. Senate votes on raising taxes on millionaires such as yourself, how will you cast your vote?”

“Well son, as an unpstandin’ member of the Yew-nited states Senate, ah would be obligated to follow my conscious mind as directed by what mah constituents back home in mah fair state of Georgia would have me vote considerin’ that many of them live in poverty and if it were not for mah efforts to establish the Freebus Blowhard memorial library there, many of them thar poor people would be out of a job.”

“So your constituents would have you vote for raising taxes on millionaires such as yourself?”

“Hell no son, if ah did that whar would the money come from to finish constructin’ mah memorial library? Ya see, all of my fellow Senators chipped in to help me build that library, and if we vote to raise taxes on millionaires, then when it comes time for them to build their own libraries they won’t wanna chip in.  Fair is fair ya know.”

“But Senator, most members of congress are millionaires so why would it make a difference if taxes were raised on them?  Surely they can afford to pay more taxes rather than have the burden on the middle class and the poor.”

“First of all son, don’t call me Surely. Haw, Haw, Haw….love that there damn movie line. Gawd bless the late Leslie Nielson…um….was he a Republican or a Democrat son?”

“SENATOR!  Answer the question please!”

“Oh yeah, um…..well ya see son, if we raise taxes on ourselves would that make a lot of sense?  Look at it this way.  Would you raise taxes on yourself?”

“But I’m not a millionaire Senator!”

“Exactly mah point son. See, you wouldn’t raise taxes on yourself so why should Senators raise taxes on themselves. Clear cut and dry as far as I’m concerned.”

“But Senator, I just got through saying that all of you congressmen in the Senate are millionaires.  Obviously you can afford it and guys like me and a lot of other middle class and poor Americans can’t.”

“Millionaire shmillionaire, what’s the damn difference son. Aren’t we all Americans that need to do our part.  Give our fair share. Take one for the Gipper. Fess up and dig deep into those patriotic pockets. What the hell are ya, a communist pinko or somethin?”

“Senator, I’m just trying to get across to you that in all fairness Senators should vote to raise taxes on the wealthy so that everyone contributes their fair share.”

“Fair Share!!  So yer saying that because ahm a millionaire I should pay mah fair share in taxes.  Do ya have any idea what the hell mah fair share in taxes would be as a millionaire?  Do ya punk?”

“Well, um…not exactly Senator?”

“Well let me tell ya.  It would be in the thousands, if not millions.  What the hell do YOU pay in taxes a year?”

“Um….I think last year I paid $3,242.00.”

“SEE….what the hell’s fair in that! You want me to contribute mah fair share by paying a million and you only pay $3,000!  WTF! You call THAT fair?”

“But Senator, you make more than me and most Americans.”

“Son, you just don’t understand the math, do ya. If ya take that measly $3,000 you pay in taxes and divide it into what ah pay, you’d see I’m paying more than you….so is THAT fair? No siree….not fair at all. Mah vote will be “no” on raising taxes on millionaires.”

“So how are you going to explain your “no” vote to your constituents back home?”

“Ahm gonna tell them that when my Freebus Blowhard memorial library is completed along the shores of the Cahulawassee River everything, including refreshments and admission is free, thereby saving them money on taxes they would pay on admission and refreshments. So if they saved a buck on that, why the hell should they fret about paying more taxes in the long run. Fair is fair son.”

“You really think that’s going to justify not raising taxes on millionaires and the way you voted?”

“It will when ah tell them that mah memorial library will be featuring a solid week of the movie “Deliverance.”  That’s their favorite movie, and “Dueling Banjos” our county theme song I might add.”

“Geesh…I give up.”

“Have a great day son, here…..have a copy of an autographed photo of me and Bert Reynolds reenacting that famous bend over up against a tree scene from that movie.”

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Copyright 2011 MisfitWisdom RLV

Header: chickart@cox.net

About misfit120

Former disc jockey, (Dick Jones) 30 years, and author of, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex, Love & Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books, & Kindle, "The Covert Chamber" a mystery novel available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble, and "Forgotten" the story of two WWI pilots who were forgotten for over 70 years available on Amazon.com and Kindle
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